SMJHL Endorsement Opportunities



What are they looking for in a candidate?

The Heinz Spotted Dick brand is looking for a candidate to bring their spotted dick brand to prominence. The candidate will be solely responsible for erecting a large customer base of Heinz Spotted Dick in their region. We have a strong believe that Heinz Spotted Dick and an SMJHL star could be a winning combo.

Why should you apply and what perks will you get?

Heinz Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding is just what a growing SMJHL player needs to kick start his career. As a Spotted Dicker you are guaranteed a lifetime supply of our product. We believe we have the winning ingredients to help you lift that 4 star cup. One serving size only contains 260 calories, but lets face it you’ll need that full can to perform at your best, here is some highlights of what these bad boys contain.

1 whole can 3 servings

910calories
Total Fat 35g 45% of your daily value

Saturated Fat 4.5g. Way more than that shitty McDonalds you have been eating.

Trans Fat 6g. Most companies don’t even have the balls to include the good shit.

Cholesterol 0g. Also very good for your heart

Sodium 720mg. Not as much as top ramen but this will help replenish your sweat.

Carbohydrates 126g. Great for your pre game you’ll have plenty to burn.

Protein 9g. Just enough to keep you going through out the game.

A candidate should have the following,
An active presence on and off the ice
Rising Star in the SMJHL
Be a fan of Britain the motherland of the Spotted Dick.
Lastly they must love they taste of the Spotted Dick.

Please send Resume and Highlight Reel for consideration to DickD’[email protected]





Rosetta Stone has a long history of helping SMJHL adjust to the English language; we feel the partnership has been a mutual success. We are looking for more brand ambassadors especially in the Montreal area, we feel we have a very hire rate teaching the French how to speak English although they might not like it they have no choice.

So Rosetta Stone, already has success stories in the SMJHL? Here are a few success stories.

Igor and Ivar Ogorodnikov came to Rosetta Stone fresh off the space shuttle from Russia. Igor was a little more advanced in his drunk tourist English so we were able to understand their goal. Once we got to work it was clear Igor had a good grasp on some English words his vocabulary was a little odd to say the least. Every image he was shown he would call a “bear” with a tremble in his voice. Igor while he knew very little English would calm down Igor, and thankfully the last thing we need is a drunk, scared and confused Russian. As we continued to work with Igor we discovered he knew other words “Nuke”, “Space”, “Space Bear”, and a few others. We are proud to say after six months working with Igor he now can order from a McDonalds drive thru menu.

And Ivar well how did he do?

If you are new to the SMJHL and English is new to you, you would be a great fit as a Rosetta Stone ambassador.

So if interested please send your information to [email protected]



Here is your chance to be sponsored by the most prestigious coffee shop in Canada, and one of the most sought after endorsements.

Nothing screams Canada like Timmy’s; we have been long time fans and friends of the SMJHL. We already provide free coffee and pastries to all SMJHL players even if they are not one of Timmy’s Trademarked players. Since this opportunity is great, we only accept greatness. Several of our players have gone on to succeed in the SHL, and can say Timmy’s was always there for them.

Who we are looking for?

We are looking for leaders on and off the ice, if you are not wearing an A or C we will still give you a shot. At the end of the day if you got what it takes off the ice, you’ll probably get it on the ice sooner than later.

What we offer?

Along with the free coffee and pastries; Timmy’s Trademarks get free massages and other services from the beautiful Timmy’s Traveling Tramps who go location to location promoting the brand in other ways. We have brought one of Timmy’s guys and a real connoisseur of donuts to give us more details.

Camera cuts to a Podium; Regina Force Rookie Patrick Brumm holding a donut and wearing a Tim Horton Hat.

Patrick what is your favorite donut and how do you take your coffee?

P.Brumm: Well I would never turn down any donut I mean look at me, but lately I have been getting the Old Fashioned Glazed or Old Fashioned with Chocolate. I always had a lot of energy so I was never a big coffee guy, I would always do the 3/4ths hot chocolate 1/4th coffee. I swear I never knew the fame I would see getting signed to the SMJHL, yesterday I’m headed to practice the jailbait Timmy’s barista hands me a coffee and says “that ones special”. So I didn’t want to break her poor heart so I took the coffee.

What was special about it?

P.Brumm: Is this guy kidding me? It was about ½ coffee ½ whiskey what the hell do you think it would be.

Sensing hostility the Publicist cuts to a commercial to calm Brumm down.

Come see Regina Force DDS Pourslin Vaneers to get your grill looking as good as the Regina Force team. -pictures play of the Regina Force stars- It doesn’t matter if you have missing teeth, haven’t seen a dentist in years! Pourslin will fix you up in no time flat, call today for your free check up!

-Camera cuts back to the Podium where the Publicist is, and no sight of Brumm-

Publicist: We regret to inform you the interview is over and we have cut ties with Patrick Brumm of the Regina Force.

Yells from the back are muffled but you can make out “That’s fucking horseshit, your donuts they taste like horseshit”

Due to unforeseen circumstances is in need of a new spokesman please send your resume today!

Originally posted by probablydrunk@Apr 25 2015, 07:42 PM

[b]A candidate should have the following,
An active presence on and off the ice
Rising Star in the SMJHL
Be a fan of Britain the motherland of the Spotted Dick.
Lastly they must love they taste of the Spotted Dick.

Please send Resume and Highlight Reel for consideration to DickD’[email protected]
[/b]

Hm...

Signature Credit: Wasty

Andrew James - Retired Defenseman - Edmonton Comets

Winston Windsor - Retired Defenseman - Edmonton Blizzard

Karsten Kadinger - Retired Defenseman - West Kendall Platoon

Will Windsor - Retired Defenseman - Buffalo Stampede

Jari Heikkinen - Retired Defenseman - Manhattan Rage

Tommy Thompson - Retired Center - Buffalo Stampede

Warwick Windsor - Defenseman - SMJHL Prospect
------
Position: Defenseman
Handedness: Right
Jersey Number: 8
Height: 6ft 6in
Weight: 245 lbs
Birthplace: Edmonton, Canada
------
SMJHL CAREER STATISTICS
S74 | TBD | GP: nil | G: nil | A: nil | P: nil | Hits: nil | +/- |
------
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATISTICS
S74 | TBD | GP: nil | G: nil | A: nil | P: nil | Hits: nil | +/- |
------
TRANSACTIONS & ACHIEVEMENTS
------

Winston "Spotted Dick" Windsor

Has a real ring to it.

Tim Hortons is/was owned by a Brazilian dude for some time so I think it's only fair I get that chance.

Player Page | Player Updates
(RETIRED) D - Fernando Pergher

What the fuck did I just read lol.

Mostly clickbait

Originally posted by probablydrunk@Apr 25 2015, 07:50 PM
Winston "Spotted Dick" Windsor

Has a real ring to it.

Once I accrue a suitable number of highlights, I shall have my people create an appropriate video sequence and forward it to you, along with my resume.

Signature Credit: Wasty

Andrew James - Retired Defenseman - Edmonton Comets

Winston Windsor - Retired Defenseman - Edmonton Blizzard

Karsten Kadinger - Retired Defenseman - West Kendall Platoon

Will Windsor - Retired Defenseman - Buffalo Stampede

Jari Heikkinen - Retired Defenseman - Manhattan Rage

Tommy Thompson - Retired Center - Buffalo Stampede

Warwick Windsor - Defenseman - SMJHL Prospect
------
Position: Defenseman
Handedness: Right
Jersey Number: 8
Height: 6ft 6in
Weight: 245 lbs
Birthplace: Edmonton, Canada
------
SMJHL CAREER STATISTICS
S74 | TBD | GP: nil | G: nil | A: nil | P: nil | Hits: nil | +/- |
------
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATISTICS
S74 | TBD | GP: nil | G: nil | A: nil | P: nil | Hits: nil | +/- |
------
TRANSACTIONS & ACHIEVEMENTS
------

for consideration to DickD’[email protected]

Alright look here you piece of shit

Originally posted by wikiplaysgames@Apr 25 2015, 04:05 PM



Alright look here you piece of shit

Originally posted by wikiplaysgames@Apr 25 2015, 08:05 PM



Alright look here you piece of shit

I laughed quite a bit when I saw that

Player Page | Player Updates
(RETIRED) D - Fernando Pergher

I found a product Brummer can endorse



Hahaha gosh I'm so original

More like that.

Originally posted by probablydrunk@Apr 25 2015, 04:42 PM


More like that.

... Also true.