Hello ladies and gentlemen, this is Seymour Butts with the draft day thoughts of none-other than Sumting Wong! Read with caution as the Asian Center for the Force last season is a volatile man, prone to anger and profanity.

Sumting Wong was in attendance for the Season 24 SHL Entry Draft, one of a multitude of prospects waiting to get his name called. He sat, alone in a section in the upper left corner waiting with his translator to hear his name called... well for his translator to hear his name called, then tell him and then he could go receive a jersey or whatever his team would do. He wasn't too sure about the whole thing.


Wong doing his pre-draft rice farming ritual

Nonetheless he waited in the crowd, not so patiently, hoping to see his name called high since that would mean more money! I guess this is a good spot to tell people that Wong secretly had a rivalry with most (all) of his teammates. He hated finishing beneath them in anything, goals, assists, points, save percentage. Most of all, he wanted to be better than Mirko Antonio Scuderi.

When Scuderi walked by and said something about being drafted in the 20's, Wong grumbled. He had no idea where he was going since any General Manager who tried to contact him kind of only spoke English. Since Wong refused to learn English calling it a "white man's language" and said it was for "ugly people" he couldn't discuss where he was going in the draft with anybody. He cursed, a disgusting curse in his native Gaelic, but stayed hopeful that even if he went lower in the draft, he'd still kick the shit out of him when they played.

While waiting, Wong received a phone call. It was his father, telling him how he was a disgrace to the family. If only he was skilled enough to have been the rice farmer he was supposed to be he wouldn't have to play this tainted white man's game. He urged him to come home. Wong, disgusted with his father refusal to accept the man he was hung up and stormed out of the draft. He only heard names being called, clueless to the people they were referring to. That was until pick #6 called up Patrick Brumm.

Brumm! That alcoholic?! How could he go before me, I treat my body like a temple. Buddha has told me I have the body of a God. And this insolent worm can be taken before me.


Buddha's a god, right?

The Kyle Prince went at #10, for the children, we thought it better to leave the remarks made out of this segment. Needless to say, they weren't glowing. Some pieces included referring to the netminder as a statistically inept sieve and a chicken fucker.

Then the really icing on the cake occured. At pick 22 the Manhattan Rage selected none other than Mirko Antonio Scuderi, the man Wong could not stand to lose to. He kicked a trash can, threw a child over the ledge, fought off the police with his pocket rice harvester and calmed himself slowly with daydreams of Sushi. He calmed down just in time to hear his translator tell him he was selected, 30th overall by the Seattle Riot. He stormed down, met General Manager Dustin Rose, through a translator told the 6'9'' Giant he could fight him then left.


Sumting's infamous middle finger exit, following the draft

And now we arrive to this point in his life, the crossroads between SHL player and SMJHL Rookie, the tweener year some would call it. Without a contract he deemed acceptable from the Riot, Wong awaits another season in the SMJHL, where players try and show they have what it takes to become full time Major Leaguers. He goes (back?) to the Firebirds, where they move after a short stint in Regina. This reporter hopes Wong eventually becomes a key cog on an SHL team, Riot or otherwise.

This is Seymour Butts signing off on yet another ridiculous rendition of the life and times of Sumting Wong.

:(

Originally posted by princekyle@Jun 10 2015, 12:34 AM
:( 

:wub:

lol

S52 "A" Alternate Captain of the Calgary Dragons
"GM" - Former Prince George Firebirds and Regina Force General Manager
"C" - Former Captain of the Halifax Raiders
S48 Brandon Holmes Trophy Recipient - Top Defensive Forward
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