Task 1:
*BURPS ABRUPTLY*
Holy shit, it’s the motha fuckin challenge cup! And here I am again, Chippy Chiclets, your resident scrub who’s not in the challenge cup finals to tell you all about it.
Everyone’s making noise and shit because they think that this is their year, but they have yet to realize that the best team in the entire galaxy, the Edmonton Blizzard, *BURPS* are not in it so what’s the fucking point, am I right.
Okay, okay, hockey. People are skating. They look god awful. I think there’s a bunch of anthems going on, so I’m going to sit here quietly.
*BURPS DISTINGUISHLY* haha psyche. Fuck that, I’m here to raise some hell. Okay, let’s talk about the lady singing the anthem. I didn’t know susan boyle was from Calgary. Oh wait, that’s just the way that Calgary singers look. I guess that’s what you get when you’re entire identity is centered around a horseshoe.
Oh look, they’re announcing the starters. Isak Odegard, what a scrub. You know I’m better than him, right? Like much better. Like, couldn’t skate circles around him, but if you ask anyone in the league who’d they rather be around *BURP* is C to the Hippy to the Chick-Fil-A-Lets. But no one gets that. Remember when Lui Koller was a thing? Yeah, no thanks. There’s only room for one defenseman in this draft class, and I’m it. Mediocre I may be, but at least I go hard and bring the fuckin rhythm, you know what I’m saying?
All right, I think we’re getting started. I’m now getting looks. You guys fucking suck, I’m going back to my seat. Fuck Calgary! Go Blizzard!

Task 2:
There’s only one choice for the unsung hero of the Season 40 Challenge Cup Playoffs, and that’s the man with a plan, a stand, and hot dogs to spare, Austrian Mike Izzy. The Calgary Dragons winger is a dominant force on the Dragons team, and that type of physical presence is necessary to weather the long, painful, and tough grind of the Challenge Cup Playoffs. Izzy leaves no stone unturned and no skater unhit. He’s put up 50 hits, a crazy high number that has left opposing players in his wake. This not only makes room for the rest of his line, but himself as well, as the timid nature of opposing players towards Izzy has given him 17 points in 19 games. Holy shit! Combined with the offensive prowess of other forwards on the Calgary Dragons roster, Izzy is a unique player who provides depth and a well rounded game to an already talented team.

Task 6:
You cannot talk about the goaltending in these S40 Challenge Cup Playoffs without mentioning the spectacular performance of the always impeccable Richard C. HOcolate. My god what a performance this young man has brought to his team. So far he’s put up a .928 Save Percentage, and his defense has stood strong at 2.4 Goals Against Average throughout these games. Calgary will win this series because of their strong performance in net. Some say the Goalie is the most important penalty killer on the ice, and Minnesota is learning that the hard way. While Calgary is enjoying an 85% Penalty Kill percentage, the Chiefs are sitting ungly at 76%. Wow, what a hit! You can’t win a cup if you can’t stop the man advantage, as the increased intensity of the playoffs naturally brings out a more physical style of play. Hocolate’s play, especially on the penalty kill, is what will lead Calgary to a Challenge Cup in S40.

Task 4: Sent

Task 9: Sent