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King · 09-03-2018, 12:29 AM

(Sorry Kovacs you guy weren't in the LR when I was writing this)

Photo of Mr. Faceoffs a few hours into his weekend trip to the cottage

After a long off-season of training the boys from Halifax decided to take the weekend and a few days extra and head over to their cottage they bought.

"Yeah we had talked about it for awhile before the draft, but we agreed after we signed our first contracts we'd all go in on buying a nice cottage together by the water in the Fax. So the rookies all threw in 250k or so and got this place, so it's alright." - Maximillian Egger

Luckily the boys from the Fax let us join them for their weekend to see how they let loose. We highlight our favourite story from each of them.

Mr. Faceoffs - Drunken ladies man @NH4JP

Mr. Face-offs has all the makings of a great ladies man. Handsome guy, professional athlete, nice body, hung. It's all good until he opens his mouth. And then his inability to speak to women comes out.

"Yeah, Mister is incredibly bad at talking to girls. He usually just doesn't. Cause if he tries, it just gets weird." - Craig Finley

"One time we were out after a win in downtown, I think it was Colorado, and I would swear Faceoffs approached a girl and said "Hey, have you ever wondered if when short people die they can buy cheaper coffins, cause its less wood?"" - Vince Rieper

"But you give this man some booze and he's like joe smooth. I don't know if I've ever seen drunk Mister leave a party with out a women, maybe two." - Richard Metcalf

And so the story continued. The boys hosted some women over each night and Faceoffs would do his thing. So we asked him, what happens when you sober up?

"Uh, yeah, mornings are awkward. I sort of just try to keep going with it, but I think I scare them off." - Mr. Faceoffs

Awkward sober goof by day, drunken lady killer at night.

Vince Rieper - The angry drunk @ViN

Where one guy is breaking ladies hearts at night, the other guy is breaking his foot or fist. Vince is what we call the angry drunk.

"It's funny, cause Vince isn't really a goon on the ice. Like he plays his game and sort of leaves that kind of dirty parts of the game to others. But post games if we ever go out he's picking a fight with the whole bar. " - Leshaun King

"Yeah we figured we were safe it was just a few of us this weekend, all just the guys and some friends, so there isn't anybody for Vin to fight. We were wrong" - Maximillian Egger

"So we were out playing beer bag, great game, Fin is weirdly good at it for a guy, and Vin is starting to go from buzzed Vin to drunken Vin, but none of us are worried, nothing to get him alarmed." - Craig Finley

"But then he's walk over to the table by the pool to grab a drink and he trips on the garbage can lid. And oh man, I believe his exact words were "You mother ******* trash can picked the wrong mother ****** to **** with" " - Richard Metcalf

Turning to Vin to ask him if he had any comments on the incident.

"I mean, it was clearly the cans fault.... and yes... I may have broken my toe doing it." - Vince Rieper

Leshaun King - The boring sober @King

"Yeah Leshaun is boring as hell. He barely drinks, and if he does he never gets drunk. I don't even know if he gets a buzz" - Mr. Faceoffs

"It's a personal choice. I just don't see the appeal getting wasted. It's not for--" - Leshaun King

"--BORING. Honestly if King was a flavour he'd be vanilla. He probably gets an assorted sub at subway, only puts ketchup on his burger, and goes to bed at 10 pm. Actually he does go to bed at 10pm." - Maximillian Egger

"Yeah we leave him for designated driver type stuff." Craig Finley

"And he's responsible for stopping us from going home with lemons.... What?! Its true." - Richard Metcalf Jr.

Much less exciting than the others.

Richard Metcalf - Barf-Squirtle @Lazyeye

"Nobody, and I mean nobody. Can puke it up like Metty can." - Vince Rieper

One of the nights the group decided to head downtown for some Karoake, and when Richard got on stage he spewed out a lot more than just the song.

"So I had a few too many, and I thought hey, I do a pretty mean rendition of Sweet Caroline--" - Richard Metcalf Jr.

"--he does--" - Vince Rieper

"So I thought I'd give it a wirl--" - Richard Metclaf Jr.

"--more like a hurl." - Vince Rieper

"Oh, you tell jokes now?" - Metcalf

"So he gets on stage, and as soon as it gets to the oh-oh-oh part right before the "Good times never seemed so good" Richy just spews. And sprays two tables. Like soakes them entirely." - Mr. Faceoffs

"It was like a pokemon attack. Like squirtle using water gun. And it was super effect--" Leshaun

"--Leshaun. Come on man, we agreed no pokemon references this weekend. Anyways needless to say we were asked to leave, and likely won't be coming back." Maximillian

Max Egger - Intoxicated wood chuck @Moosecop

A lot of the previous drunken adventures are things you hear. Getting flirty, getting angry, throwing up. But Max's is different.

"It had sort of become like a running joke. But then it just started to get weird. So when Max is drunk, he finds an axe and starts chopping wood. But it's not like, if we're in the forst he does this. Regardless of where we are, this man somehow finds an axe, somehow finds wood, and gets to chopping" - Mr. Faceoffs

"First time it was sort of funny, like, haha this will make a great story. But then it started happening in weirder and weirder places." - Craig Finley

"Yeah we were at my parents place, and they have this really nice table in the living room from restoration hard wood. Max had been commenting on the table all night when he was sober, how nice it was, how good it smelt, how it felt on his skin... a little weird actually." - Vince Rieper

"Then we're having drinks and he disappears. And someone asks "Hey wheres Max" and we look around and a light bulb goes off and we're all thinking the same thing, someone then says "...but how would he find an axe." and we hear a chop" - Richard Metcalf Jr.

"We rush to the living room, and there he is, axe in hand, doing a number on the table." - Leshaun king

"In my defence, I did pay for it to be replaced. It's not that weird, some people drink and bang I drink and chop." - Max

Craig Finley - Mr. Congeniali-Drunk (laziest pun I've done, since it's not even a pun) @hats_4_days

"Craig is the peoples drunk. Like some people get social when they drink, Craig takes it to the next level." - Mr. Faceoffs

This has to be the weirdest story yet.

"So we had some people over, and someone invites someone, who invites someone and the party got a bit bigger, and so we're drinking and we see Craig doing his drunken thing becoming everyones best friend." - Vince Rieper

"Craig gets weird thought, he's not like your, "lets small talk and follow each other on insta" kind of friend. He has people like pouring their soul to him, it becomes like a weird therapy type thing sometimes, other times people are named him the god father of their child--" Richard

"--actually happened. I know, right?" - Vince

"So the party ends and the next day we were going to go down this place we like for dinner and Craig says he can't come. And craig, why was it you couldn't come?" - Leshaun

"...I had to go officiate a wedding.... of a couple I had just met the night before..." Craig Finley

"like WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" - Mr. Faceoffs

"I just get close to people when I drink okay, I don't know what it is." - Craig Finley

Well, there you have it. Six raiders, six different kinds of drunks and one week of fun. We'd like to thank the Raiders for letting us into their private bubble, and hope they'll invite us back on their next cottage trip, hopefully with more of the team in attendance.

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