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*Scrufdaddy* · 10-27-2018, 01:08 AM

Scruffy Train-wreck Lands in St. Louis Scarecrows

By SD

Well it's official, at least one team actually wanted Slip last night, so that means this nightmare ride is just getting started. My editor just "promoted" me to the role of Slip's full time media coverage. Let's get this over with.

After arriving on the scene with a moderate amount of draft hype, Slip was selected 17th overall by the St. Louis Scarecrows to kick off the third round of the draft. Not many draft experts predicted that, mostly because the mock draft didn't go that deep. A handful of draft experts did, however, predict Slip would go 13th overall to Colorado in the second round, but the Raptors decided to put their money on Gareth Rush instead. This investment was quick to sour with a media storm of controversy between the Raptors and Rush. Readers will have to look elsewhere for coverage of that event because here at SD's desk it's all Slip, all the time.

I had the ~incredibly~ fortunate opportunity to catch up with the ~illustrious~ Slip McScruff after Thursday night's draft, let's hear what he had to say:

Quote:SD: Well Slip, my editor thinks there is an audience out there that wants to hear what you have to say. Lay it on me, how do you feel about being drafted to the St. Louis Scarecrows?
SM: Yeah, so first, uh, I'd like to thank everyone in my draft class who has been so welcoming, except LIEvars obviously. And, uh, yeah, I'm really thankful to be selected by the, uh...
Momma McScruff: St. Louis Scarecrows
SM: Yeah, the St. Louis Scarecrows, very thankful to them for picking me in the draft today.
SD: Have you had a chance to meet your new teammates in the Crows locker room?
SM: Oh yeah man, they've been super super helpful. Like, they told me that you have to know how to skate to be a good hockey player, and that really resonated with me ya know?
SD: Ah, I see. That explains the 5 days of skating practice I see on your schedule for training camp.

SD: Ok, so next question, is there anything you're looking forward to this coming season?
SM: Actually yeah there is SD. First and foremost, I really feel like I'm a part of this team already, so I can't wait to get into our first match up against our bitter rivals, the uh...
MM: Detroit Falcons
SM: Yeah, the Detroit Falcons. Ya know, their GM was so nice to me when I first signed up for the league, but at the time I didn't know that actually I'm supposed to not like Detroit, so yeah, Fuck Detroit.
SD: Wow, strong words Slip, I'll have to run that by my editor and see if we're allowed to print that. Are you drunk?
SM: And secondly, I'm looking forward to my first game against the Halifax Raiders. I want to get out there and settle this beef with LIEvars out on the ice. Man, he called me soft and that wasn't real nice and I'm really just out here trying my best.

SD: Uh, sure, ok Slip, any last comments for tonight?
SM: Yeah, I'd like to thank everyone in my draft..
SD: *Interrupting*You already did that
SM: Uh, ok, then I'd also like to say Fu..
SD: *Interrupting*Yeah, yeah, Fuck Detroit, you already said that.
SM: Ok, uh, then I guess I'm all set..
MM: *Interrupting*Slip would like to let everyone know that he's taking offers for advertisement deals or partnerships. Please forward all correspondence to me, Marleen McScruff.

SD: Ok, ok, let's wrap this shit show up, thank you Slip and thank you Marleen

Well there you have it folks. The ever-charming Slip loves being a newly signed Crow, is quick to align with their rivalry with Detroit, and has some beef with a guy apparently named LIEvars(?). I'm sure that we're in for a hell of a season here and I will do everything in my power to bring you the least amount of coverage that my editor contractually allows. I guess I have to be a Crows fan now. Yay.

SD