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Rezer · 12-18-2018, 03:08 PM

The first day of the SMJHL draft combine came with a flurry of young, new faces and impressive talents, but at the end of the day, my colleague and I are left with only one burning question: Who the hell is Kyle Wellwood?

We first learned of Wellwood when approached by him at the east-side entrance doors with an unsolicited “smokes, lets go”. At the denial of his request and asking him to leave, Wellwood broke into a fit letting us know he is here for “try outs”. Once again denying his request for smokes, Wellwood stormed off from the venue, but not before reminding us that we are “dicks” and flipping us off.

Laughing off the encounter and returning inside, we soon stumbled across Wellwood again – but this time, on page 18 of the draft combine list. Listed at an unlikely 6’2”, and a likely 200 lbs, it appears the Winnipeg native is, in fact, here for “tryouts”.

Dumbfounded and filled with confusion, we tried to locate Wellwood for some well-needed questioning. Our search efforts were failing, that is, until there was a large crash followed by a growing commotion over at one of the testing rooms. Piled under a few spin bikes was prospect sensation Guy Zheng, with Wellwood sprawled out on top of it all. The situation quickly devolved into a shouting match before finally being broken up by security, where Wellwood was dragged out of the room, shouting “grip on this, bitch”, while holding his crotch.

We followed security into the hallway where Wellwood broke free from their grasp and sprinted towards the exit. We chased after him into the parking lot, past security who gave up at the doors, shouting for him to stop. About 200 feet from the door, Wellwood finally seemed to hear us and stop – but as we got near him, it was clear he just ran out of breath.

“Oh you two dicks again,” Wellwood wheezed out as we approached him. Our requests for an interview were promptly denied, citing our previous encounter. When asked how to make it up to him, his blood-shot eyes widened, “how about a sixer of lucky?” he slurred out while gesturing towards the local vendor. We obliged, and asked him to stay put.

Sure enough as we returned with his request, Wellwood was nowhere to be found, and our search continued.

We headed back into the venue and asked around about this self-proclaimed hockey player. Our inquiries were met with no attention, as no one seemed to have heard of him. We were about to give up when a GM, who will for now remain unnamed, approached us with intensity, demanding we tell him what we’ve heard about Wellwood. We described our encounter, to which he let out a heavy sigh, and walked away ignoring any further questions of ours.

As the day was coming to a close and his “sixer” getting warm, we had almost forgotten Mr. Wellwood as the rest of the day’s events took our attention. It seemed with pure coincidence that we ran into him again in the parking lot as we were packing up to leave.

Surrounded by a group of kids, we stood back and watched as he started sniping beer cans off the hood of a Mercedes from the pavement with an old wooden stick and a handful of pucks. Impressive I thought while continuing to watch, but it wasn’t until he started picking cans off the kid’s heads that I felt I had to intervene.

“Finally, where have you been?” he exclaimed as I approached him. He demanded the six-pack of lucky, to which he promptly turned to the (clearly) minors with his hand out, demanding they “pay up”. After slapping a $20 bill into his hand, he snapped off a beer and handed, the now fiver, to the kids, and yelled “piss off” while raising his fist in the air, to which they scurried off.

I asked him again if he would finally answer some questions, to which he agreed to for a couple smokes. Just as I loaded up my recording app, and Wellwood gulped the last of the warm beer, an old white crown vic drove up, picked him up and drove off, without another word from him.

No one seems to know who this Kyle Wellwood is, and frankly, we are left wondering why this degenerate was even invited to the combine. Even if a legitimate draftee, this organization’s administration needs to answer to this behavior as it is not tolerable and certainly not a role model we want for hockey, its players, and its fans.

This is probably the last we will see of Wellwood, but if his greasy-head rears again, you can be certain we will be following him closely and pushing to have him banned from the league if this behavior continues.

(first article but can I save first article bonus and claim x2 draft content instead?)

DeletedAtUserRequest · 12-18-2018, 03:14 PM

Diva Alert.

Waiting for the next installment ....

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FlappyGiraffe · 12-18-2018, 03:23 PM

A fellow Winnipeg Civilian!!! Cheers

Mayuu · 12-18-2018, 03:23 PM

Wait. Rush?

RETIRED

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