(Igor is desperate for TPE or money or something and so has decided to write an article about a hypothetical SHL expansion to other planets. This turned out to be longer than expected.)

Long read. Very long read. Get some popcorn ready.

It’s a few hundred years in the future. When? I don’t know. The SHL is in its 2000th season or something. The SHL is a global success. We have teams from Norway to Mali, from Antarctica to Fiji, from Brazil to Japan. We’re in every country on every continent. Well, most countries. There are a few too small to support a team without going financially broke for decades, and some countries where the climate isn’t supportive of hockey, but we’ve pretty much dominated Earth.

However, Earth’s climate is becoming more and more unstable, and will be unable to support humanity, perhaps in less than a hundred years. We’ve been holding out, but soon, we must switch humanity’s home base. It’s time to move forward to other planets in the universe. Which planets will be able to support an SHL team? What interesting things can we expect in an interplanetary league?

For the purposes of this article, I will limit ourselves to the largest objects in the solar system, given present human understanding of them. I will assume that humanity will somehow be able to survive on each world, so this will not be a factor. The main issue for each planet is hockey. Is the sport viable on the other planets?

We begin our discussion with the Sun. With a surface temperature of over 5000 degrees Celsius, warm enough to boil almost every metal in the periodic table except the toughest ones (but even those would become liquid), it is safe to say that hockey is not coming to the Sun anytime soon. Also, the Sun’s surface is a nuclear fusion machine. Literally. With the intense amounts of energy produced from fusion, I doubt that a rink would last for even one second. Our hard work would be destroyed as we build it. The Sun is a NO.

YES: 0
NO: 1

Moving out from the Sun, we reach the first planet, Mercury. Mercury is a small planet, only slightly larger than the Moon. Its surface temperature reaches over 420 degrees Celsius by day, and below -170 degrees Celsius at night. The planet has an incredibly slow rotation - a day is actually two years, so every day on Mercury is everyone’s birthday and anniversary. Time systems on Mercury would need to work differently, so this might affect the periods of the game.

With incredibly hot temperatures in the daytime, you might think that Mercury would be one of the last places to set up an ice hockey team. But no. It is possible to have ice hockey on Mercury, thanks to a strange property of the planet. Mercury has no axial tilt, and no seasons. Its poles never tilt towards the Sun or away from the Sun. At the north pole (and the south pole), it’s constant sunrise or sunset - the Sun never leaving the horizon. This lowers the surface temperature enough to where ice can remain frozen in a few craters near the north pole of Mercury. So ice hockey is saved. But it would be hard to have more than a north polar team and a possible south polar team. Although it comes close, Mercury is a YES.

YES: 1
NO: 1

Venus, the second planet, is about the size of Earth. At first glance, it looks promising. The planet is surrounded by a thick, lush atmosphere. From space, the clouds of Venus never part to let us look at the surface below. Likewise, from Venus, the sky is never visible - night and day look the same. Maybe Venus hides a habitable jungle below, and maybe it has polar ice caps, like Earth. Maybe it’s just Earth, but a bit warmer, and a bit more tropical. Maybe hockey can happen.

The truth is Venus is none of that. “Hell” would be a pretty accurate word to describe Venus. Temperatures are over 460 degrees Celsius. The clouds are actually deadly toxic, and acid rain would destroy any rinks on Venus, if not the temperatures alone. Volcanoes cover the surface. The thick atmosphere (90 times the pressure of Earth’s) would crush our hockey players, if not the temperature or acid.

Venus is a pretty strong NO. I don’t see how hockey can happen on this world. The planet of love is not friendly for our hockey players.

YES: 1
NO: 2

Earth is third, and I’m pretty sure you know the answer to this one.

YES: 2
NO: 2

The Moon is much like Mercury - high temperatures in the day, low temperatures at night. Being farther from the Sun, the temperature differences are not as extreme as Mercury’s. Like Mercury, our best bet for ice hockey is at the poles. And water ice does exist on the Moon here, at both poles. However, there’s more at the north pole. You wouldn’t get to see much of Earth, though. Like the Sun, it would always be on the horizon. But you can watch Earth go through phases.

YES: 3
NO: 2

Of the planets, Mars is our best bet. It’s about half the size of Earth, and has about a third of the gravity. Your first instinct would be to check the ice caps of Mars, which are much like Earth’s. However, the ice caps are a mixture of compounds. Although both ice caps are mostly water ice, there is also considerable dry ice (carbon dioxide ice) mixed in due to the atmosphere being 95% carbon dioxide. Most of the seasonal effects on the Martian polar caps are from carbon dioxide, not water. The north polar cap is larger, and has more water ice. The south polar cap is smaller (but thicker, so it has more volume) and has a lot more carbon dioxide ice. Interestingly, the south polar cap is not centered on the geographic south pole of Mars. In the Martian summer, the residual south polar cap is centered a few hundred kilometers away. But when it grows in the Martian winter, the cap becomes centered on the geographic south pole.

The temperatures on Mars are not a problem for water ice, rarely rising above freezing, even near the equator (the highest temperatures ever recorded on Mars were about 30 degrees Celsius). If the ice for our rink melts, it will refreeze again at night as temperatures typically plummet to -70 degrees Celsius or below at night. Carbon dioxide ice is a problem, as carbon dioxide sublimes (goes straight from solid to gas) at -79 degrees Celsius.

The Martian day is similar to Earth’s, being only about 40 minutes longer, so Earth seconds and minutes can become slightly longer to adjust for this. However, since Mars is farther from the Sun, it has a longer orbit. There are 668 Martian days per year.

Martian hockey is would be interesting to watch. The ice surface would typically be stable at least (although maybe with indoor rinks, we can fix the “temperatures rising above freezing temporarily” problem), the games would be a bit longer as Mars has a longer day, and each season of play would be longer given Mars takes about 23 months to orbit the Sun. You just hope a planet-wide dust storm doesn’t come in and cancel months of games (a real problem on this planet - they can be fierce, with only the highest mountains providing refuge - unfortunately, they’re all on one side of the planet near the equator).

Despite a few technical difficulties that might cause a season to be cancelled, Mars is a YES.

YES: 4
NO: 2

Let’s move to the asteroids. Ceres is the largest of the asteroids, so we’ll focus on that one. It’s so large that gravity pulls it into a roundish shape. There are a few bright spots on the equator, which looks promising. Unfortunately, they’re salt deposits. Not ice. Or maybe it’s salt and ice. Maybe a briny form of icy salt. It’s a bit unclear, so we’ll not count that. But after that, it doesn’t get better. Ice is expected to sublimate on Ceres’s surface, and evaporate into a thin atmosphere. However, it is possible for Ceres to have deposits of ice in the polar regions, like Mercury and the Moon. If this were true, we’d be safe and we can add it to the list. Unfortunately, no such deposits of ice have been detected. Ceres might have too much axial tilt (about 4 degrees), so its poles are exposed to enough sunlight to evaporate all of, or most of, the ice away. The largest asteroid is perhaps not the best place for hockey. For now, I’ll have to add it to the NO category. Maybe it’s really a YES, but there is not enough evidence to prove it.

YES: 4
NO: 3

I won’t go over every asteroid (or this article would give me too much TPE/money), so let’s skip forward to Jupiter. Jupiter has no solid surface on which to place a hockey rink. It’s gases all the way down until the pressure converts them to liquid and metallic hydrogen. That must be fun to see, but you’d die trying to reach it. You’ll need an ice rink floating in the atmosphere and protect it somehow. But the wind speeds would be a problem. They can exceed over 100 m/s (200 mph). That is a bit of a problem. A big problem. Also, even small storms can be worse than category 5 hurricanes. I think we can disqualify Jupiter and place it in the NO group. Maybe the moons will work.

YES: 4
NO: 4

Io is the innermost of Jupiter’s large moons, a bit larger than our Moon. Io is yellow and orange in color, and looks absolutely disgusting (just look up an image of it). It would smell disgusting too, covered in sulfur deposits and all of that. Did I also mention that Io has volcanoes? Did I mention that the surface is covered in volcanoes? Did I mention that no matter where we place the rink, a volcano will probably eat it? The entire surface of the moon keeps changing. It’s too dangerous to place a rink here. Io is a solid NO. But it’s a good tourist spot for volcanologists.

YES: 4
NO: 5

Europa is much more promising. Slightly smaller than our Moon, the thing is essentially an icy sphere, with criss-crossing lines of orange on the surface. (Why are those lines there? We don’t know.) There could even be an underwater ocean that remains liquid from internal heat, so maybe if we take some of that and bring it to the surface, we could build a real ice rink. Actually, no. Europa might have plumes of ice erupting from near its south pole (the results are inconclusive so far, but there is significant evidence for them). So we can get the water needed to build an ice rink from there.

As a bonus, Europa has one of the smoothest surfaces in the solar system. Truly a hockey lover’s paradise in the solar system. Europa is a solid YES.

YES: 5
NO: 5

Ganymede is the largest of the moons in the solar system (larger than Mercury!), and Callisto is almost exactly the same size as Mercury, but barely smaller. Both moons have similar surface composition, so I’ll talk about them together. Ganymede is about equal parts silicate rock and water ice. Water ice? YES. As a bonus, Ganymede is the only moon to produce its own magnetic field. A weak one, but it’s there. Callisto is also about equal parts water ice (and some other ices) and some sort of chondrite rock (exact type unknown). But water ice? YES. Two more moons of Jupiter that we can play hockey on!

YES: 7
NO: 5

An ice rink on Saturn would be fun (just look up at the rings above you while you skate), but like Jupiter, there’s a serious problem. No solid surface. And in the atmosphere, the wind speeds are much worse than Jupiter’s, at 500 m/s (over 1000 mph). That’s supersonic wind speed on Earth, and I doubt a hockey rink would survive that. Saturn is a NO planet. Sorry for crushing your dreams.

YES: 7
NO: 6

Maybe the moons of Saturn would be better. Good news: There are a lot of them. More good news: They are icy moons. I’ll only do the seven largest.

Mimas. Water ice. YES. Enceladus. Water ice. YES. And Enceladus has giant water plumes from the south polar region! Add this as a tourist destination for hockey!

Continuing on. Tethys. YES. Dione. YES. Rhea. YES. All composed mostly of water ice. It seems that what Saturn lacks, it makes up for in its moons. There’s not much to say about most of these, though.

We get to Titan, the second-largest moon in the solar system (after Ganymede, but still larger than Mercury). This is an interesting case because there’s nothing else really like it in the solar system. Upon approaching Titan, you’d see a world covered in a thick orange haze. The surface is invisible. What lies below? A place to play hockey? It would seem so.

Alas, there is no water ice on Titan’s surface. So we might be tempted to mark it as impossible, but think again. The dominant liquid here is actually methane, not water. Titan’s golden, rocky surface has lakes and seas of liquid methane and ethane, mostly in the north. There’s even a methane cycle, much like how Earth has a water cycle. However, Titan is much drier than Earth. There are no oceans. If we were to take some liquid methane from the lakes and freeze it into a solid, there might be interesting properties. Perhaps we could create an ice rink of liquid methane on Titan. I’m not sure how well that would work out, but Titanian (Titanean? There’s another moon called Titania orbiting Uranus which causes some confusion) hockey has got to be the most interesting in the solar system. Titan is a YES by me, and DOUBLE POINTS for being so cool. I wonder how it would work out. Also, with all that methane, we’d have no need to worry about fuel!

YES: 14 (double-counting Titan because it is so COOL!)
NO: 6

Finally, Iapetus, a moon half light, and half dark, like a giant yin-yang symbol. Water ice. YES. All of Saturn’s large moons are suitable for ice hockey.

YES: 15
NO: 6

Going onwards to Uranus, a cold, bluish-green planet. No solid surface. Winds approach 240 m/s (over 500 mph). Uranus is another NO planet.

YES: 15
NO: 7

Let’s speed through the large moons of Uranus. Miranda. There is water ice on Miranda, but we have a problem. Miranda seems to be all jumbled up (at least the half of it that we have seen). There are giant cliffs on the surface, though the low gravity means that jumping off of the tallest known one, the fall would last for eight minutes. If you can find a spot that’s flat enough, then Miranda is YES.

Now for the other four. Ariel. YES. Umbriel. YES. There’s even a crater on Umbriel where a spot of some bright material is deposited. We don’t know if it’s water ice, though. It could be carbon dioxide ice. But water ice has been confirmed on Umbriel. Titania. YES. Oberon. YES. All have some water ice, meaning you can play hockey.

YES: 20
NO: 7

Final planet. Neptune. NO. There is no solid surface, and the wind speeds are too violent, with 580 m/s (1300 mph) recorded in a Neptunian storm. This is actually the fastest recorded wind speed in the entire solar system. However, average wind speeds on Neptune are lower, only 400 m/s (900 mph) approximately.

YES: 20
NO: 8

Neptune’s only large moon is Triton, and it’s a solid YES. This pink moon has a surface mostly composed of nitrogen ice with water ice mixed in, and a bit of carbon dioxide ice. It’s also a moon that has geysers and erupts plumes of nitrogen. The thin atmosphere of Triton is in fact mostly nitrogen. Another interesting fact is that Triton orbits Neptune in the wrong direction - opposite its planet’s rotation (and at about a 23 degree angle to Neptune’s equator). It’s the only large moon to do so.

YES: 21
NO: 8

Beyond Neptune, there is an icy asteroid belt of objects, including some several hundred or thousand kilometers in diameter. Pluto, our favorite ex-planet, is one of them. Pluto doesn’t have many water ice deposits, but it’s enough to be a YES. In fact, Pluto is dominated by nitrogen, like Triton. We might have solid nitrogen rinks on Pluto, as that would be far more practical. Pluto’s largest moon, Charon (about half of Pluto’s size) is dominated by water ice, though. Perhaps if we really needed water ice, we could get some from Charon, which is a YES.

YES: 23
NO: 8

Now for the other dwarf planets beyond Neptune. Haumea is about two-thirds the size of Pluto, and has an egg-like shape, like a rugby ball. Its surface is dominated by water ice, so it’s a YES. In fact, Haumea is actually a bit strange - water ice shouldn’t dominate the surface. Makemake is similar in size to Haumea, and probably a bit elliptical based on more recent measurements. For this reddish object, YES if you’re willing to exclude water ice. Nitrogen and methane ices make up most of the surface, but methane ice dominates more than it does on Pluto for example. Eris is the most massive dwarf planet and slightly smaller than Pluto. It’s essentially an ice world. We don’t know much about Eris, but probably nitrogen and methane ices dominate the surface. YES.

YES: 26
NO: 8

And that’s it. For the big guys in our solar system, only the Sun, Venus, Ceres, Jupiter, Io, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune fail the hockey test. Everywhere else (25 objects - I double-counted Titan because it was so cool!) can have a rink of some material, if not water ice, then nitrogen or methane ice.

Perhaps in the future, the SHL will see the Eccentric Eridians (from Eris) or the Miranda Cliffhangers (from Miranda) or the Iapetian Icers (from Iapetus). What do you think are the most likely SHL teams from other worlds in our solar system?

(Wow, this took up seven pages of text on Google Docs. I hope reading it was worth it.)

S48 Four Star Cup Champion (Vancouver Whalers)

Nice to know if Earth ever dies we have some options on where else to play hockey!

Solar system expansion team concepts are so overdone at this point, when will people consider the smaller markets like Alpha Centauri or Barnard's Star?

@Daco More than twenty options, in fact!

S48 Four Star Cup Champion (Vancouver Whalers)

@efiug Once we know if planets exist, and what those planets are like, then maybe I'll cover those markets. Exoplanets are pretty hard to study - you have to guess at almost everything.

S48 Four Star Cup Champion (Vancouver Whalers)

@TheHockeyist we should not have a franchise on Earth because buffalo is there

Aleister Cain - S42-S57
HOF GOALIE- CLASS OF S60- SECOND BALLOT
S54 CHALLENGE CUP
S54 RAZOV

Ville Kurri - S57-S70
BEST SMJHL DEFENSIVE FORWARD S60
That's pretty much it

|  |

@SlashACM Where do you want to move? You have a lot of options.

S48 Four Star Cup Champion (Vancouver Whalers)

@TheHockeyist we should not have a franchise on Earth because buffalo is there

wow, funny, I was thinking the same thing about New Orleans.

arigato to everyone for the dope sigs <3

Tom Holberg|| RW || Anchorage Armada


| Updates | Player Page |

@SlashACM Where do you want to move? You have a lot of options.

Hmmmmm I have a pretty cool Minecraft server we can move to

Aleister Cain - S42-S57
HOF GOALIE- CLASS OF S60- SECOND BALLOT
S54 CHALLENGE CUP
S54 RAZOV

Ville Kurri - S57-S70
BEST SMJHL DEFENSIVE FORWARD S60
That's pretty much it

|  |

@TheHockeyist we should not have a franchise on Earth because buffalo is there

wow, funny, I was thinking the same thing about New Orleans.

Idk what that is

Aleister Cain - S42-S57
HOF GOALIE- CLASS OF S60- SECOND BALLOT
S54 CHALLENGE CUP
S54 RAZOV

Ville Kurri - S57-S70
BEST SMJHL DEFENSIVE FORWARD S60
That's pretty much it

|  |

wow, funny, I was thinking the same thing about New Orleans.

Idk what that is

arigato to everyone for the dope sigs <3

Tom Holberg|| RW || Anchorage Armada


| Updates | Player Page |

A Minecraft server? Isn't that like... on Earth? We need to get off of Earth! Every SHL team right now could move off of Earth to a different world in our solar system and we'd still have room for expansions!

S48 Four Star Cup Champion (Vancouver Whalers)

A Minecraft server? Isn't that like... on Earth? We need to get off of Earth! Every SHL team right now could move off of Earth to a different world in our solar system and we'd still have room for expansions!

Heh you have a lot to learn kiddo

*Cracks knuckles and wipes sweat from under the trim of my joker themed fedora*

Aleister Cain - S42-S57
HOF GOALIE- CLASS OF S60- SECOND BALLOT
S54 CHALLENGE CUP
S54 RAZOV

Ville Kurri - S57-S70
BEST SMJHL DEFENSIVE FORWARD S60
That's pretty much it

|  |

A Minecraft server? Isn't that like... on Earth? We need to get off of Earth! Every SHL team right now could move off of Earth to a different world in our solar system and we'd still have room for expansions!

Heh you have a lot to learn kiddo

*Cracks knuckles and wipes sweat from under the trim of my joker themed fedora*

What isn't there to learn about the solar system? We pretty much know if most worlds in our solar system can support hockey...

S48 Four Star Cup Champion (Vancouver Whalers)

Heh you have a lot to learn kiddo

*Cracks knuckles and wipes sweat from under the trim of my joker themed fedora*

What isn't there to learn about the solar system? We pretty much know if most worlds in our solar system can support hockey...

they can because none of them are earth and as slash said no other planet has buffalo

Sebastien Regazzoni || C || Hamilton Steelhawks || 1276 TPE
Birthplace: Bern, Switzerland
Height/Weight: 6'3", 200 lbs
SHL Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 17 A: 25 PTS: 42 PIMS: 32 +/-: -23 H: 75
S72 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 28 A: 31 PTS: 59 PIMS: 55 +/-: 7 H: 89
S73 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 24 A: 33 PTS: 57 PIMS: 34 +/-: -2 H: 81
S74 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 37 PTS: 49 PIMS: 43 +/-: -8 H: 83
S75 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 11 A: 51 PTS: 62 PIMS: 39 +/-: 22 H: 66 
S76 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 33 A: 60 PTS: 93 PIMS: 37 +/-: -18 H: 87
SHL Playoff Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 2 A: 1 PTS: 3 +/-: -5 PIM: 2 H: 5
S72 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 0 +/-: -5 PIM: 0 H: 7
S73 || HAM || GP: 12 G: 4 A: 7 PTS: 11 +/-: 2 PIM: 10 H: 10
S74 || HAM || GP: 7 G: 2 A: 3 PTS: 5 +/-: -3 PIM: 0 H: 14
S75 || HAM || GP: 14 G: 3 A: 10 PTS: 13 +/-: -0 PIM: 2 H: 17
SMJHL Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 25 A: 21 PTS: 46 +/-: -5 PIM: 6 H: 107
S68 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 41 PTS: 61 +/-: 5 PIM: 30 H: 138
S69 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 33 PTS: 53 +/-: -3 PIM: 18 H: 142
S70 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 23 PTS: 35 +/-: -54 PIM: 28 H: 78
Career SMJHL Regular Season Stats
GP: 264 G: 77 A: 118 PTS: 195 +/-: -57 PIM: 82 H: 465
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 5 G: 4 A: 1 PTS: 5 +/-: -2 PIM: 0 H: 11
S68 || ANC || GP: 10 G: 4 A: 3 PTS: 7 +/-: 7 PIM: 4 H: 24
Career Milestones
Drafted 20th overall by Anchorage, S67 SMJHL Draft
Drafted 4th overall by Hamilton, S68 SHL Draft
Voted Anchorage Armada captain, S69



Mitchell van der Heijden || C || Philadelphia Forge || 925 TPE
Birthplace: Alkmaar, Netherlands
Height/Weight: 6'2", 205 lbs
SHL Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 50 G: 8 A: 10 PTS: 18 PIMS: 16 +/-: 0 H: 24
S55 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 19 PTS: 34 PIMS: 14 +/-: 2 H: 70
S56 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 16 A: 11 PTS: 27 PIMS: 26 +/-: -17 H: 65
S57 | NEW | GP: 66 G: 20 A: 28 PTS: 48 PIMS: 10 +/-: -37 H: 62
S58 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 22 A: 38 PTS: 60 PIMS: 22 +/-: 25 H: 92
S59 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 21 A: 37 PTS: 58 PIMS: 29 +/-: 37 H: 101
S60 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 49 A: 50 P: 99 PIMS: 6 +/-: 14 H: 97
S61 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 57 PTS: 87 PIMS: 10 +/-: 49 H: 122
S62 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 48 A: 38 PTS: 86 PIMS: 8 +/-: 32 H: 105
S63 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 51 PTS: 81 PIMS: 18 +/-: 47 H: 103
S64 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 43 PTS: 73 PIMS: 8 +/-: 9 H: 103
S65 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 13 A: 37 PTS: 50 PIMS: 20 +/-: 25 H: 134
S66 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 15 A: 24 PTS: 39 PIMS: 30 +/-: -19 H: 116
S67 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 8 A: 27 PTS: 35 PIMS: 20 +/-: 4 H: 140
Career Regular Season Stats
GP: 876 G: 325 A: 470 PTS: 795 PIMS: 237 +/-: 172 H: 1338
SHL Playoff Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 5 PTS: 12 PIMS: 4 +/-: 1
S56 | NEW | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 4 +/-: -4
S57 | NEW | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: 0
S58 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 3 A: 7 PTS: 10 PIMS: 2 +/-: 2
S59 | HAM | GP: 11 G: 2 A: 5 PTS: 7 PIMS: 0 +/-: 4
S60 | HAM | GP: 10 G: 2 A: 3 PTS: 5
S61 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 9 A: 16 PTS: 25
S62 | HAM | GP: 14 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19
S63 | HAM | GP: 25 G: 10 A: 12 PTS: 22
S64 | HAM | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 17 PTS: 24
S65 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 4 A: 5 PTS: 9
S66 | PHI | G: 7 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3
S67 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 4 PTS: 4
Total SHL Playoff Stats
GP: 172 G: 55 A: 93 PTS: 148
SMJHL Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 14 PTS: 28 PIMS: 6 +/-: -1 H: 21
S51 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 27 PTS: 47 PIMS: 17 -/+: 11 H: 15
S52 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 28 PTS: 53 PIMS: 29 +/-: 7 H: 62
S53 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 26 A: 26 PTS: 52 PIMS: 24 +/-: 12 H: 109
Total SMJHL Reg. Season Stats
GP: 200 G: 85 A: 95 PTS: 180 PIMS: 79 +/-: 29 H: 207
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 11 G: 1 A: 4 PTS: 5 PIMS: 0 +/-: -6
S51 | ANC | GP: 12 G: 5 A: 7 PTS: 12 PIMS: 2 +/-: 7
S52 | ANC | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S53 | ANC | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
Total SMJHL Playoff Stats
GP: 41 G: 8 A: 16 PTS: 24 PIMS: 2 +/-: 1
Accolades
Won S51 4 Star Cup with Anchorage
Won Silver Medal with Switzerland, S51 IIHF
named best forward, S51 WJC
named to second team all SMJHL, S52
named Anchorage alternate captain, S51/S52
named Anchorage captain, S53
named first team all SMJHL, S53
won Ideen Fallah Award (SMJHL Awards Committee MVP), S53
named SMJHL All-Star, S51-S53
won S54 Challenge Cup with New Orleans
scored Challenge Cup-winning goal, S54
named New England alternate captain, S55
#15 retired by the Anchorage Armada
Challenge Cup winner with Hamilton, S58/S61/S63
SHL All-Star, S60-S63
Karpovtsov and McDonald winner, S60
Sarmad Khan winner, S60
Ron Mexico winner, S60
First Team All-SHL, S60
Gold medal winner with Switzerland, S65
Member of the Triple Gold Club
SHL Hall of Famer
Draft Things
drafted 11th by Anchorage in S50 SMJHL Draft
drafted 13th overall by New Orleans in S51 SHL Draft



Joseph Lombardi || RW || Anchorage Armada co-GM || 969 TPE
Name: Joseph Lombardi
Position: Right Wing
Birthplace: Voorhees, NJ, USA (transferred to Ireland)
Height: very short (5'3")
Weight: 145 lbs
SHL Regular Season Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 13 A: 9 PTS: 22 PIMS: 6 +/-: -10
S39 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 12 A: 8 PTS: 20 PIMS: 8 +/-: -10
S40 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 15 PTS: 29 PIMS: 7 +/-: 9
S41 | MIN | GP: 50 G: 7 A: 6 PTS: 13 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S42 | MIN/SEA | GP: 47 G: 14 A: 20 PTS: 34 PIMS: 6 +/-: 4
S43 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 26 PTS: 46 PIMS: 8 +/-: 5
S44 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 18 A: 17 PTS: 35 PIMS: 18 +/-: -16
S45 | SEA/TOR | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 20 PTS: 40 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 23 PTS: 48 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S47 | EDM | GP: 50 G: 17 A: 23 PTS: 40 PIMS: 10 +/-: 26
S48 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 21 A: 17 PTS: 38 PIMS: 10 +/-: 5
S49 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 6 A: 20 PTS: 26 +/-: -8 PIMS: 13
S50 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 11 PTS: 26 PIMS: 10 +/-: 15
Career Stats
GP: 647 G: 202 A: 215 PTS: 417 PIMS: 96 +/-: 14
SHL Playoff Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 6 +/-: -3
S39-S40 | SFP | Missed playoffs
S41 | MIN | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S42 | SEA | missed playoffs
S43 | SEA | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 6 PTS: 6 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S44 | SEA | missed playoffs
S45 | TOR | GP: 5 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 7 G: 2 A: 7 PTS: 9 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
S47 | EDM | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S48 | SFP | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: -4
S49 | SFP | missed playoffs
S50 | SFP | GP: 4 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
Career Playoff Stats 
all you need to know is that I was shit
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S35 | STL |  GP: 50 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: -1
S36 | STL | GP: 50 G: 10 A: 7 PTS: 17 PIMS: 4 +/-: 0
S37 | STL | GP: 44 G: 16 A: 15 PTS: 31 PIMS: 8 +/-: -4
Total Stats: GP: 144 G: 27 A: 22 PTS: 49 PIMS: 14 +/-: -5
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S35 | STL | GP: 7 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 +/-: 1
S36 | STL | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 +/-: -1
S37 | STL | GP: 13 G: 4 A: 10 PTS: 14 +/-: -3
Total Stats: GP: 26 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19 +/-: -3
Things I've Done
Selected 40th overall in S35 SMJHL Draft by STL
Selected 30th overall in S36 SHL Entry Draft by POR
Won some team awards with the Crows, but no cup
won Presidents Trophy with San Francisco in S38
won a silver medal with Ireland (S38)
won two bronze medals with Ireland (S39, S41)
won a shit ton of golds with Ireland (S42-47)
was traded by San Francisco to Minnesota before S41
Traded to Seattle by Minnesota before S42 Trade Deadline
traded to Toronto by Seattle before S45 trade deadline
signed a one year, $6 million contract with Edmonton
signed a one year, $4.5 million contract with San Fransisco
named Pride alternate captain for S48
won president's trophy with SFP (s50)
writes haters guides where I shit on every team

ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @Ragnar for the sigs