Blog Post 8: May 25


KELOWNA, BC --- Hey everybody, Gunnar here again. I guess it’s time for another little end-of-season wrap-up. I’m not sure I’m ready to wrap the season up yet, to be honest, but it also kind of feels like I never will be, so I’m just going to start writing and hope I get through it.

I’m not going to lie, this one hurts a lot. Maybe even more than last year, even though we didn’t get nearly as close as we did last year. I woke up this morning and for a minute, I completely forgot we weren’t still in it. We were playing so well, we were rolling, and then everything just fell apart, and I’m still not quite sure what happened. What I do know is that just like last year, regardless of the outcome, I’m still incredibly proud of the people I get to play with, of this whole team, of our management and the city that cheers for us. 

I guess this year is harder, maybe, because of how many people aren’t coming back next year. We lost some last year, and that was hard, but there’s something even more difficult this year because I’ve gotten to play two whole seasons with some of these guys now, I’ve learned so much from them, I’ve become friends with them, and it’s going to be so weird not having them out there on the ice with us next season. They’re going to do great in the SHL, I know they are, and obviously I’ll be hoping for them to blow away everybody’s expectations, but it sucks that we didn’t all manage to get it done here together, and I guess that’s always going to taste a little bitter to me.

That being said, playing for this team is one of the coolest and most rewarding things I’ve ever done. Getting to be their captain this past year, getting to watch new guys come in and find their rhythm, grabbing pucks for first goals and trying to make them feel as at home as I’ve felt here…we’ve made a lot of memories this year that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I’ll still be here in Kelowna next year, and I’m so excited to see how the roster shakes out then. 

I’m not sure what I’m doing for most of this offseason. I know I’ll go home for a while and see my family, and I’m going to try to talk Dima and Sasha into going back with me again because my mom keeps bothering me about when she’ll get to see them again. (I think my mom makes up for having a disproportionate amount of daughters by adopting sons from every team I play on). And then…I don’t know. Corey and Jax are still both playing, so I’m going to cheer them on. I may stick around in Kelowna for a couple of weeks still, and I don’t even really have a reason for that, I’m just not sure I’m ready to leave yet. It’s so nice here this time of year, I may just take some time to go wander out in the great outdoors and fall in love with BC all over again. 

I’m just struggling a little, I guess, with the feeling of not quite being ready to be done yet. I guess that’s an inevitable side effect of coming up short. I  know I should be tired, and I should want the break, and I guess I do, but I’m also just so ready to get back to playing already. I have a sort of clarity about this next season, a kind of single purpose that I guess is driving me. I know we all need the time in the offseason to train and rest up and get healthy again, but I’m already focused.

My first year I was dealing with being a rookie, I had a million things to get used to, and I was just focusing on surviving, on figuring out how to get even more out of myself than I thought was possible, on how to do better than I thought was my best. This year, we had the SHL draft to start things off, and I got to think a lot about what my future’s going to look like, the route I want to take to get there. This coming year, I feel just…really calm and resolved about it. I know I’ll end up in Tampa eventually, but I know that’s not happening yet, I know where I’m going and I know how I’m getting there, and I can just completely focus on being the best player I possibly can for the Knights while I’m here. With so many guys going up this season, I’m going to be one of the older guys on the team. And that’s really weird, and it’s a lot of responsibility, but I feel like I’m ready for it. (I’m still not as old as Sasha though, so I’m definitely going to give him a lot of shit about that). 

I don’t really have much else to say just yet. I do want to say thank you, again, to the city of Kelowna for always having our backs, for being a hell of a place to come back to again and again, and for continuing to make me feel at home even when I’m thousands of miles from the place I was born. I guess at this point you know we can’t promise you the outcome of a season, but I can promise you’re always going to get our everything. We came up short again, and I know it sucks, but we’re not giving up and I don’t want you to give up on us, either, because we’ll be back next year and we’ll keep giving it all we’ve got. That’s the promise I can make, and I’m going to keep making it until it’s not my promise to make anymore. 

And to all the guys who were on the team this year - you were amazing. We were amazing. I’m so proud of each and every one of us and for those coming back next year, I can’t wait to see you all back on the ice again. Have an amazing off-season, everybody!


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