Igor - Take Two.
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TheHockeyist
Registered Posting Freak
07-13-2019, 07:01 AM
(This post was last modified: 07-13-2019, 10:53 AM by TheHockeyist.
Edit Reason: Typo.
)
Igor is on camera again, trying to redo the broadcast that had to be -RETRACTED- the first time.
Off screen I: "Okay, you're not gonna screw this up like last time, are ya?" Igor: "No, no, no... I just have to not talk about that thing." Off screen II: "Good." Igor: "Uh..." Off screen I: "Just start over." Igor: "You're not going to retract this are you?" Off screen II: "Don't mention that thing, and you're good." Igor: "I forgot what we were talking about." Off screen II: "You know, the past? The future? Just... not that thing." Igor: "Right. Not that thing. Mustn't mention my-" Off screen I: "SHUT UP OR THIS WILL BE CENSORED." (broadcast interrupts) (broadcast resumes) Off screen I: "Got it?" Igor: "Yes." Off screen II: "We're back on air. Igor, mention what you've been doing the past month." Igor: "Again?" Off screen I: "Yes, again." Igor: (a bit tired of this) "So, many of you might remember the incident where I was injured due to my glue experiment gone wrong. It was determined that I was in fact scammed. I got the chemical from another supplier, and I was unable to make the glue to hold my boot laces together." Off screen I: (whispering loudly almost directly at the camera) "Guys, Igor can't tie his shoelaces, so what's why he made the glue." Igor: "SHUT UP, RICK!" "My name's not Rick!" "Anyways, I got a low yield, I tried again, and I was unsuccessful. I'm going to rely on my hiking buddies to tie my boot laces from now on." Off screen II: "Told you so." Off screen I: "Igor, tell them about your... whatever the hell this is in your notebook." (camera pans) Igor: "Oh, those are my plans for building a model of the planets in real life." Off screen I: "I told you you need better handwriting!" Igor: "I don't!" Off screen II: "You really do. Come on, one-fifty gee three-two whatever the hell that was?" Igor: "It was the chemical name!" Off screen I: "Now tell them about your hockey plans." Igor: "Well, (sighs as he has to re-explain everything) I started off as a noob. I struggled. Got help with some guys WHOM I'M NOT GOING TO PING AGAIN to get me stronger. Maxed out. I'm a beast in the SMJHL. I'm not to be messed with. Moving to the SHL. And then-" Off screen I: "That's all you need to tell us." Igor: "The thing, right?" Off screen I: "Yes, the thing." Igor: "And if I say it, you'll take this off of the air. So I will not say it." Off screen II: "Exactly." Igor: "So the thing I will not-" (broadcast interrupts) (broadcast resumes) Igor: "Why'd you do that?" Off screen I: "No. One. Must. Know." Igor: "When can I say it?" Off screen I: "I'll tell you later. If I told this to you on air, then it'll start the situation we wanted to avoid." Igor: "There's a real life in the league?" Off screen I: "Duh. You didn't know? Oh right, you're kind of stupid." Igor: "I AM NOT STUPID! Listen, I made the adhesive using 100 grams of-" Off screen II: "That failed..." Igor: "And on my last hiking trip, I started a fire-" Off screen II: "That burned my bag..." Igor: "And when I tested the trigonometric functions that form a Fourier series of-" Off screen II: "We get it. You're a stupid guy trying to be smart." Igor: "I will announce the secret that you are forcing me to hide." Off screen I: "Do it and we will we ban you from the air." Igor: "I want-" Off screen II: "Do it and I will tell your entire locker room not to tie your skates ever again." Igor: "Fine! I won't! I admit it! I'm the strong beast with my skates untied... I don't know how to tie my hockey skates! I admit this publicly on air! I do!" Off screen III: "Is that the secret you guys wanted to- oh wait, you're still broadcasting." Off screen II: "The secret is-" (broadcast interrupts) (broadcast resumes) Off screen II: "And what's why we cannot tell it. It will cause drama. Igor doesn't seem to understand this." Igor: "Okay, enough for one day. I'm sick of redoing this. (looks down) Rick, you're tying these shoes here." Off screen I: "MY NAME IS NOT RIIIII-" (broadcast ends) S48 Four Star Cup Champion (Vancouver Whalers)
ProjectSaint
IIHF Federation Head IIHF GM
................I like Igor. Igor gives no shits.
Sig Credit: Flappy (EVO) and Skolpaddor (RESO)
EMEKA VALENTINE-OKOLI/PLAYER First SMJHL Goal: Colorado Raptors, Emeka Valentine-Okoli 1 (Mikelis Ozoliņš 4, Loki Odinsson 3) at 3:12, 2nd Period (GWG) / SMJHL S47 Game 47 Day 12: Colorado Raptors vs Detroit Falcons First SHL Goal: Texas Renegades, Emeka Valentine-Okoli 1 (Josef Kubinec 5, Ricky Spanish 4) at 16:23, 2nd Period / SHL S51 Game 71 Day 16: Edmonton Blizzard vs Texas Renegades Eternal , onwards we roll And Let's Retire at the Pinnacle
TheHockeyist
Registered Posting Freak
Well, Igor is a personality not to be messed with.
S48 Four Star Cup Champion (Vancouver Whalers) |
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