07-30-2019, 12:24 AM(This post was last modified: 07-18-2020, 12:40 PM by Nokazoa.)
Sup SHL GMs out there. The call me Jean-Paul "the Boi" Boivin, the unauthorized bash brother. In what you are about to read is my resume. My dad is always telling me I need to be getting my resume out there, and gotta keep calling to show interest. He's a boomer, but he keeps naggin me to do it. So I thought it would be sweet if I spruced up the old resume, and sent it to each of your offices. Don't ask how I got it under your door. That's a secret between me and your secretary. Bow-Chica-Wow-Wow. Unless they are a dude. Boivin isn't into that. It's ok if you are, but it ain't his type. Ya dig? A little bit of info before you go. I am like a really cool dude. Pretty funny, and good in the Locker Room. Keep me having fun, and I'll put in the work for ya. Also, I like to bash stuff. So my checking is gonna get raised despite what my trainers tell me. I have a name to protect. Alright, time for the rest of the Resume. Profile
Jean-Paul “the Boi” Boivin is a hard-hittin Power Forward from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Born to a working-class family, Jean-Paul learned to skate with his Mother, who he thanks daily for birthing him. His mom also taught him the basic rules of hockey. When Jean-Paul first started out on the ice, he functioned more in the role of an enforcer. However, when his buddies started calling him “Goon” his mom forced his father to retrain Jean-Paul into a Power-Forward. In reality, nothing changed in his playstyle, his friends were just given a two-four of Molson to stop calling him “Goon.” After continuing to step up his game, Boivin made it onto his high school’s (Forest Hill Collegiate Institute) team where he boasted the sickest of hits. Impressing the scouts in his last two years on high school, Boivin moved onto playing for George Brown College for a season before becoming a free agent in the SMHJL. He’s always been a great presence in the Locker Room, and he secretly loves to sketch dogs when he isn’t cruising for “cats”
George Brown College Like a year ago, man
2.5 GPA | Played real good hockey. Like 10/10 on the scale of awesome
Forest Hill Collegiate Institute More than two years ago
2.0 GPA | Played good hockey 7/10. Was scared to get hit until a jabroni named Kev dropped gloves on me. Fuck you Kev
WORK EXPERIENCE
Vancouver Whalers Power Forward S48- Till I Die
I became an unauthorized bash brother. Watched as we became the Four-Star Cup Champions. Got into a fight like round 3 of the playoffs. Solid Hits all season I played
Duck, Duck, Moose Bouncer Like eight months ago
Call me the Toronto waste man. I was always “taking out the trash” Got free shots when I wasn’t carding the youngsters. For real, watch out for Wasteyute
Tim Horton’s Everything I was 16, probably
I like took out the trash sometimes and made okay coffee. Filled it to the top for my bois. Gave people sleeves for their cups. The Lids are awful btw.