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***Gaia Mormont*** · 05-02-2024, 06:59 PM

How an Actual Grizzly would Defeat other SMJHL Logos

1. Anchorage Armada-

An Armada in the wild would be a formidable opponent for a Grizzly. The best way for defeat would be for the Grizzly to find recruits and build a bigger, better, faster Grizzly Armada and wage battle when the time is right.

2. Carolina Kracken-

In order for a Grizzly to defeat a Kracken, the best way would be to lure the giant sea beast to an inland stream and wait for it to go upstream to spawn. The Grizzly could just wait at a waterfall until the Kracken makes a leap and the Grizzly would nom it with no problem.

3. Colorado Raptors-

Since Raptors existed 75 million years ago, the obvious way for a grizzly to defeat one would be to time travel back to 150 million years ago and then just evolve to a great size over the next 75 million years. By the time they existed together, a Grizzly would be immune to the venomous spray and also be 3 times the size of a Raptor. Shouldn’t be tough fight by then.

4. Detroit Falcons-

A Grizzly would really not have much a challenge physically against a Falcon, it would be more a battle of wits. The Grizzly could immerse itself into a family of newborn falcon chicks and wait until it had the opportunity to disappoint the parent Falcons by flying the nest without a goodbye, The Falcons would be emotionally devastated and never fully recover.

5. Kelowna Knights-

The Grizzly has likely fought a knight before. If he can avoid the sword strokes he could politely ask the Knight to commit to a more gentlemanly method of battle and persuade to take part in a joust. The Grizzly could train himself and defeat the Knight to win the favour of the king. Time consuming, but not as much chance of the Knight being sneaky with the armour.

6. Maine Timber-

Does a Grizzly shit in the woods? These woods? Probably. When he gots to go he gots to go. While he’s shitting in the woods, he could easily use his claws to shred the timber.

7. Nevada Battleborn-

The Battleborn Logo is a ram. For a Grizzly to defeat a ram, he simply needs to follow him around until the ram gets pissy and tries to take a charge at him. Grizzly avoids the charge, ram falls off cliff and Grizzly gloats from above.

8. Ottawa Highlanders-

A Grizzly can defeat a Highlander by poisoning his haggis. Easy as that.

9. Quebec Citadelles-

So a citadelle is a fortress of sorts but the logo is an owl. If a Grizzly just goes to where the owl lives and eats all the mice, the owl will starve to death. Easy peasy.

10. Regina Elk-

Elk. The biggest, dumbest of all ungulates. A Grizzly would not have to work hard to defeat an Elk. Eventually the Elk would get lost in the woods and the Grizzly could just knock it over. Nice eating though, Elk. I’m sure.

11. San Diego Tidal-

A Grizzly who found himself fighting the tide just has to hold his own for a few hours and eventually the tide goes out. An infinite battle but the Grizzly would win within his lifetime.

12. St. Louis Scarecrows-

A Grizzly has a brain so would obviously just outwit the scarecrow into taking a left on the way to Oz instead of a right. The Wizard would reward the Grizzly and the scarecrow would end up as flying monkey fodder.

13. Vancouver Whalers-

By posing as a whale, the Grizzly could lure the Whaler into shallow waters and then laugh as the ship gets caught on a reef and eventually gets whittled away by the waves. Another example of waiting for victory and letting the opposition work against the sands of time.

14. Yukon Malamutes-

A Grizzly, in order to defeat a Malamute is quite obvious really. The Grizzly becomes an industrial machine and pollutes the Malamutes habitat so bad there is massive climate change and snow no longer falls and the malamute becomes obsolete as a form of travel and resorts to becoming a lap dog in a yuppy apartment in lower Manhattan.

15. Newfoundland Beserkers-

Any Grizzly would know that a Beserker is particularly susceptible to cannon fire. Aim at the bow of their boats and the Shield laden warriors will sink and drown regardless of their close-range prowess.