TASK ONE: (worth 3 TPE)

It's game seven of the Eastern Conference Finals and we were heading into overtime, all the chips are one the table as the Toronto North Stars look to take one step further in their quest to rid their Challenge Cup curse, which is now approaching 30, I repeat, 30, seasons. For Hamilton, this is another day in the park, they are used to the pressure and used to playing extra games every season, it's almost an expectation that the Steelhawks make the Finals every year. It's been a rollercoaster series thus far, and now back to the action as Griffin Simons lines up at center ice across from Pierre-Luc LaFlamme.

Simons takes the draw and passes it cross ice to his butt buddy Rider Clitsome, who accelerates up the ice, exploding past the tired legs of the Stars defense....he threads a beautiful pass over open ice to Simons, who launches a slapshot at Toronto's stalwart goalie Mark Harter, the hero of their thrashing in round one of Minnesota, and he easily snags it glove hand, laughing at Simons and yelling "With that kind of aim, I dont know how Rider hasn't dumped you yet."

Resident emotional Stars player on his period Andrey Barbashev lines up at center ice, with Dean "Beavis" Colt staring at him with a face that even a mother couldn't love. Barbashev yells squirrel as the ref drops the puck and Colt jumps two feet in the air like a hippo out of water scanning for the squirrel, its a good distraction and Barbashev skates around the special case that is Dean and fires a wrister...

Harter kicks it away, but Clitsome darts in like a ninja on roller skates and backhands the rebound top shelf....ANOTHER SAVE, Harter is toying with the Steelhawks. Just embarassing.

BUT WAIT OH NO HARTER DROPPED THE PUCK AND THE CLUELESS REF CLEARLY PAID OFF BY HAMILTON HASNT BLOWN THE WHISTLE AND AN UNGUARDED GRIFFIN FUCKBOY SIMONS TAPS THE LOOSE PUSSY, I MEAN PUCK, INTO THE NET AND THE STEELHAWKS WIN!!!

TASK TWO: (worth 3 TPE)

- Minnesota Chiefs destroyed all competition in the regular season, a real bull in the china shop, and alot of that was due to the aggressive backstopping of the Swedish Sweg Monster Robert Andersson who posted a league leading 31 wins. He was masterful, he was sexy, he fucked all the bitches and did it raw, he gave no fucks and no one questioned his authority. He drank beer and bought beard oil and lived like a king.

But then something happened and that motherfucker shit the bed one morning and decided not to play hockey anymore. That morning was the morning of the playoffs where he allowed 29 goals and lost four straight games in a devastatingly awful performance. After the series he was reported as being suicidal after all his bitches left him for more successful players like Gil Lemar and his own teammates disowned him. Robert even lost the copyright to his nickname #Sweg, and has since been put into the cage of shame.

It's unclear why his performance dipped so much, and part of it was certainly a lack of support ,especially from defenseman Alonzo <a href='index.php?showuser=1352' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-13'>ArGarBarGar</a> Garbanzo, who was another player with a good regular season that shit the bed and decided hockey wasn't for him.


TASK THREE: (worth 3 TPE)

Written: Choose what you think is a pivotal moment in any of the series’ so far, and flip it on it’s head. What happens if one team loses a game seven instead of wins? What happens if one goal isn’t scored, or is? How does the playoffs change, and how does the series change? (200 words.)

Graphic: Create a mockup of the front page of a newspaper with the result of what you think the most important game in the playoffs has been so far. You will not be marked on what the article says, if you choose to include the article. Feel free to write nonsense, you’ll be graded on the overall look of the mockup.

TASK FOUR: (worth 3 TPE)

Well this a stupid prompt, given my player didn't win the cup, and therefore its also cruel and unusual punishment. I should expect nothing less from the current progression regime in place. But thankfully I've won four cups, so I know what it's like. First thing I'd do is tag all my bitch ass loser friends in an instagram post with a picture of myself on a date with challenge cup, so they could get jealous. Then i'd fill it with beer and drown myself in a shower of drunkenness until I blacked out, and then I'd wake up in a stupor, wake up my sexy ass hoe girl next to me, fuck her tits and then cum all over the challenge cup.

After that I'd strap chally into my convertible 68 camaro and drive through downtown los angeles so people could get jealous and acknowledge my greatness. I'd take photos, but only with hot chicks, I'd discriminate hardcore. Extra points if they show their tits. Of course this is if Daniel Merica won, because if Scotty Reay wins he would donate it to charity because he is undeserving and sucks at life. Was this too graphic? I have a dirty mind with no filter, youre welcome.