"Hello everyone, this is Finn Kruger of the West Kendall Platoon welcoming you to, uh... this is game one, right? Yeah, game one of the Season 40 Simulated Hockey League finals. Calgary's back in the finals, and those poor sons of bitches just can't seem to get a grasp on glory, can they? I've got a lot of friends on that team, shame they can't seem to stop choking every year. Maybe this will be the one."

"Uh, what else... returning for their second appearance in a row is the Minnesota Chiefs, also known as the killers of hopes and dreams down in Miami. Seriously, when will those fucks ever stop being good? It's getting old getting beaten in the first round by those guys... people always say that if you're going to lose to anyone, it should be the guys who go to the cup, but fuck that. Still hurts as much as normal."

"I don't know... no, no, no--you don't get to yell at me for drinking before this! You're the one who asked me to come onto this shitshow and try to be all friendly--you knew damn well I'm still hurting from that Minnesota loss. Folks, the producers are screaming in my earpiece for me to get off air and I suppose I can indulge them just this one time. So, that's Finn Kruger, signing off. Remember me as I was."


It's Odegard. Of fucking course it is. Everyone's been saying it's Odegard since this prompt came up and for good reason. He's been the unsung workhorse of the Minnesota back end for the whole year. This playoffs, he's been bananas. Though Minnesota inevitably lost the series and the cup, it wasn't for a lack of trying, and Odegard spent the entire postseason trying his best. The young defenceman walked away with 11 points in 20 games, 33 hits throughout the post-season and 29 shots blocked--the most shots blocked on his team, with the next closest being Eero Hamalainen, 25 shots blocked. Odegard's been a physical workhorse willing to throw his body on the line for his team, and he's also proven himself perfectly capable in offensive situations. Add to that his grueling penalty kill time and you've got yourself a kid who loves him team and is willing to put everything he's got out on the ice for them. How the hell could it not be Odegard?


Sent.


The numbers say that O'Koivu's got the edge here, finishing with a .906 SV% to Hocolate's .903 SV% to end the regular season--which, granted, it's a razor-thin edge for O'Koivu to have but sometimes that's enough. However, Hocolate's got O'Koivu beat in the GAA department with a 2.78 to O'Koivu's 2.85 to end the regular season. Of course, regular season doesn't mean as much as people like to put stake in--for further proof, just look at the West Kendall Platoon--but it's a measure worth looking at. They're both excellent playoff performers who've managed to look good and deadly through two rounds, but we all know damn well that the Finals are a different beast and that Minnesota's already proven they have what it takes to win. My heart and my experience against Minnesota has taught me that O'Koivu is a rat bastard of a netminder, but he's a rat bastard of netminder who's also damn good at what he does. O'Koivu's got the edge and so does Minnesota.

Edit: Boy did this not age well.


Sent.


Joe Kurczewski