TASK ONE

This one is a little on the easy side. I want the West Kendall Platoon to win the Challenge Cup, primarily because I'm on the team. That alone would be enough justification, but I'll go a bit more into why I want to win these finals in particular: it's been pretty clear that my activity on-site has been slowing down. To some degree, I've become disillusioned with Kadinger and with my general experience mainly because I'm in that awkward slump period most players suffer between 600-1000 TPE, where you've put in a fair bit of time into your player but get atrocious statistics.

This is largely the fault of the update scale, a now long-bashed feature of the site. I know full well how to dig my player out of this: it's a matter of grinding through the current scale's massive dead-zone until I reach the 1000-1100 mark where my player will likely, overnight, blossom into a useful player. So, winning these finals should help rekindle my desire to update with the vigor that I did early in my career.

Also, again. I'm on the team.

TASK TWO

Danny Mete.

It can be difficult to make your mark on the league as a rookie, and that is doubly true when the playoffs roll around. Danny Mete, however, has managed not only to notch an impressive 9 points in 13 games prior to the finals, but a +9 rating putting him well ahead of some of the team's top stars in that metric. Despite playing only 16.09 minutes per game, Mete has left an indelible mark upon the finals. Of his nine points, three were goals and six were assists, and this reliable point production has made him by far the most effective rookie in the post-season. He's recorded a few penalty minutes at 10, but this hasn't been enough to put a damper on his performance in the slightest.

A performance the like of Mete's has to be regarded as an inspiring one by other young players in the league, who often spend several seasons mired in struggle before breaking out. No, he hasn't scored almost two points per game like some players, but without his steady offense and his reliable two-way play, it goes without saying that the West Kendall Platoon may well have dropped one too many close games to actually be in the Finals to begin with. To add a little cherry on top of an otherwise excellent campaign, Mete's 15 shots blocked place him in the upper ranks of the team in that metric, showing his dedication to win at the expense of his own well-being.

TASK FOUR: SENT

TASK SIX

Perhaps the strangest pre-game performance in the Challenge Cup finals this year came from the West Kendall Platoon, who regularly played video games in their locker room prior the games. Some might say that such a childish, and often contentious ritual would be more of a detriment than anything else, but it seems to have worked for them. Jon Ross, Alex Light and Beaujeaux Biscuit regularly played rousing rounds of various shooter games, generally shouting expletives at one another. Among these are a particular game that includes rappelling down buildings to, ahem, lay siege to hostile groups.

How is this relevant?

Because as part of one of the more grandiose displays in the playoffs this season, Jon Ross pushed for a military-themed pre-game ceremony to bank on the Platoon branding. A number of trained professionals rappelled down from the rafters, some upside down and some right-side up, while the players waited in the tunnel. Then, in a display of pyrotechnics that surely broke some kind of by-law, a mock-wall set up near the tunnel blasted open, allowing the players to rush onto the ice as if they were storming the place. A little over-the-top? Yes. Did it cause controversy? Probably.

Was it exciting?

... Not really. But at least it got Jon Ross and Beaujeaux Biscuit to stop whining about being showed up by the intricate performances put on by other teams.

TASK NINE: SENT