Scouting Report on Michael Scarn, Czechoslovakian, Season 45 SMJHL Prospect:

Position: Center

Skill Strengths: Speed skating ability is a major major plus. This is easily his greatest strength on the ice. Whenever Scarn goes out there with his mop that he uses as his stick, he can really fly. You can hear him saying "mop the ice" repeatedly like a crazed demon on every single breakaway opportunity, taught to him by the legendary coach Cherokee Jack. Strange quirk but it works out well for him and gets him flying.

Skill Weaknesses: Passing ability is weak, along with checking ability. Scarn is a natural shoot first type player so passing is not his first instinct. Tape of his checks on Toby Flenderson, animal rapist, demonstrate a harsh technique that can really injure opponents. You can see the video displayed proudly in Scarn's highlight tape, which alludes to the fact that Scarn does not recognize this as a weakness. Expect Scarn to spend some significant time in the penalty box if he does not work on improving checking.

Personality Strengths: Good manager, makes plenty of friends, terrific at tying yarn. Loves his family life. Goalscoring celebration, The Scarn, delights teammates and crowd.

Personality Weaknesses: Disrupts flow of game by engaging in impromptu shootouts with enemies of the state. Goldenface clearly is still around. 

In conclusion:
1. Cherokee Jack shapes his style of play immensely
2. Poor checking technique from years of putting Toby Flenderson into the wall
3. Great manager after years of working in the paper industry, glue guy in the locker room
4. His unique goal celebration, The Scarn, gets his teammates excited and boosts morale for the team and fanbase: definitely a unique intangible asset
5. Checkered history means disruptive play on the ice occasionally when shootouts happen