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Waters · 10-06-2019, 01:13 PM

A: Many of the notable retired players from SHL lore are in attendance at the event. What legend from the SHL past are you seeking out at the event and what will you talk about with them? Describe who you're looking for and how you go about meeting them.

I'd very much like to meet Jarrko Vattinen of the former Edmonton Blizzard. He was once a highly regarded but disrespectful player that many pitied, hated, loved, cherished, and forgot about. Years later, his legacy stays with the SHL like a dark, but inviting, cloud, waiting for someone to delve deeper into it. And I, Jagger Fouquette, believe I could be the one to reconnect Vattinen with the SHL world. Jarrko is now nearing his 60th year, but he hasn't lost any of his natural charm. While he's isolated himself from any of his former teammates, every gala he attends he continues to be the center of attention. To meet him, I'm gonna have to get his attention somehow, which is very difficult. I may have to destroy the champagne display, blame it on Hugh Jazz, and then meet the legend himself in the ensuing aftermath. I'm looking forward to meeting Vatty himself.

SlashACM · 10-06-2019, 02:04 PM

Aleister Cain spent the whole night looking longingly for SMJHL players that he used to hang out with, Kiko Rytmeyr, Adam Taylor, Jerry Larry, etc. He never found them but he went out to the alley to pee because he is deathly afraid to pee in public restrooms and he saw someone had made a home in the dumpster. It was none other than SMJHL Legend Andrew Joycon. I offered my hand and told him I would buy him some food if he went as my date back into the gala. A quick whiz and we were ready to go back into the event. No one recognized him except when I wandered near the Buffalo table, and Nicolaj Muller knew exactly who was with me. They had a weird moment where they just stared at each other and moved really close and I was creeped out but I'm not gonna lie I also got a boner. Joycon decided he wanted to go back to the dumpster so I spotted him a 20 for his company and went back to hanging out alone and drinking cherry Dr. Pepper.

@esilverm

***sköldpaddor*** · 10-06-2019, 02:42 PM

Quote:B: What are you doing throughout the night? Who are you seated with? What's going on at your table throughout the night's events? How's the food and drink?

Gunnar spends most of the night seated with his Barracuda teammates (including his roommate, Olivier Cloutier, and their teammates Nikolai Evans and Anastasia O’Koivu). The food and drink is definitely up to any standards Gunnar has himself, and after partaking (particularly in the drinks category), he eventually sneaks off to another table to spend a little time chatting with his boyfriend (Noah Tedla) although he does his best to keep things entirely appropriate (mostly because his mother would fly to the United States to tell him in person how embarrassed she is if he gets caught in some garbage tabloid magazine for being unable to keep his hands to himself)

Quote:D: You are one of the honored few asked to make a speech at the event. They give you total freedom in what you talk about - a moment in SHL history, a vision for the future of the league, anything you want. Give us an excerpt of your speech.

"I can't remember a time when the SHL wasn't a part of my life. Just like a lot of guys here, I grew up watching this league, idolizing so many of the players, and I knew even when I was just a little kid that I wanted to play here. It's crazy to me that I'm standing here, that I have the chance to talk to all of you, but even more than that, it's the greatest honor I can imagine to be a part of the league I grew up watching. I couldn't be prouder to be here, to be a Barracuda, and to be a part of the future of this league alongside so many other young players who I'm lucky to call my teammates."

*Leppish* · 10-06-2019, 02:57 PM

A: Many of the notable retired players from SHL lore are in attendance at the event. What legend from the SHL past are you seeking out at the event and what will you talk about with them? Describe who you're looking for and how you go about meeting them.

Alonzo Garbanzo, my former teammate and friend. As we know each other already, it won't be too hard to find him and talk to him, but I don't see him around enough these days so i'd love to talk with him over a drink or ten. I don't really know what he's doing now in retirement but i assume he's dominating some other hobby like golf or tennis. And also eating lots of beans cause he loves them beans.

(79 words.)

B: What are you doing throughout the night? Who are you seated with? What's going on at your table throughout the night's events? How's the food and drink?

I'd definitely hit up some of the legends like mentioned before, and probably try and chat with other former teammates. I don't know who i'll be seated with aside from Mathias Seger @Segi and Collin Gibbles @SpartanGibbles who are listed on the same table, so there will be plenty of drinking and laughter at our table. I also heard it's open bar and free food so i will absolutely be taking full advantage of that. Hopefully they won't kick me out too soon.

(83 words)

LarksTongue · 10-06-2019, 03:21 PM

B: What are you doing throughout the night? Who are you seated with? What's going on at your table throughout the night's events? How's the food and drink?

C: As the night turns into morning and the drinks have been flowing, things start to get a bit unruly. Describe what's happening by the end of the night, once the older folks have gone home and the true party animals are in charge.

Many great players are in attendance and Commander Shepard just wanted to take it all in. Shepard was seated with other members of the Jets including Nick Brain, Jason Visser, and Ignatius Blunt among others. Other tables around us included an alumni Jets table with former greats in Zach Evans, Ron Mexico, and Lance Uppercut among others. The Jets for one enjoyed the S50 gala extensively drinking exquisite wine from Italy itself as well as eating delicious Filet Mignon with butter braised Lobster.

It was a wild night with partying among players from all different generations. After the dinner tables were moved to the side for a dance floor. But the gala also set up a beer pong tournament to crown the greatest SHL beer pong player. With alcohol involved some old rivalries got heated particularly among the older players who were from a harder era. All in all it was a legendary party with many players expressing excitement for the S100 party!

Thanks to @FlappyGiraffe and @ToeDragon84 for the making these sick sigs!

Quote: First Goal (3rd Game): Commander Shepard 1 (Nick Brain 1, Noah Gallagher 2) at 8:48

TnlAstatine · 10-06-2019, 03:46 PM

The night is wild and alive with all the buffalo members in attendance and all at our own special table because we are a bunch of pepegas who don't know how to interact with others outside of our own team. We are not particularly interested in anything specific and so we just get really drunk the entire night yelling memes and making fun of each other out of love for one another, but not as much love as zazagooey has made it out to be, i'm pretty sure he just made all of that up from the dreams he has been having and what he has been fantasizing about. We were supposed to be doing some speeches regarding the buffalo organization but everyone go too drunk and rowdy and we ended up having some bench brawls in the back alleys with nola and toronto players before the night was over, it was a fun gala and everybody had a great night.

**JaytheGreat** · 10-06-2019, 04:34 PM

B:
For the 50th anniversary of the SHL Jakub Bruchevski was invited to the special gala. Bruchevski was seated with fellow St. Louis Scarecrow Sasha Danglecheck @acdangel. While the two crows sat at the table discussing different topics, recent addition to the New England Wolfpack Ola Wagstrom @StamkosFan takes a seat by them. The the two pups and Wolfpack member spend the rest of the night talking about hockey both SHL and NHL, and the different cultures from their three different countries. A little later in the night music could be heard coming from that table as SHL members past and present with their friends and significant others turn back to look, they see all three plays headbanging out to various metal songs. With what are obvious empty bottles of alcohol around the table Bruchevski is holding an empty bottle in his hand like a microphone as a shirtless Danglecheck is playing air guitar, and Wagstrom hopping up on the table trying to get people to catch him so he can crowd surf. All in all it was a pretty fun night for Bruchevski and he didn't een have to pay for the bill.

Rest In Peace Dangel

1st SHL Goal - S52 Game 1 vs Tampa 3. New England Wolfpack , Jakub Bruchevski 1 (Eko Van Otter 1, Delver Fudgeson 2) at 8:10

Scarecrows

**bbjygm** · 10-06-2019, 04:39 PM

Code:
D: You are one of the honored few asked to make a speech at the event. They give you total freedom in what you talk about - a moment in SHL history, a vision for the future of the league, anything you want. Give us an excerpt of your speech.

SHL needs to expand to every continent and become a truly international brand. There’s markets in Europe for sure, in Asia, even in Australia, Africa and South America. So many beautiful wonderful cities just waiting to get an SHL team, cities that could give adoring fan bases that all SHL players would want to play for. It would be really fun to travel the globe and that’s where I see the future being at. Heck, we could put a team in Antarctica, why not? There’s definitely plenty of ice there. I think there’s more than just America and Canada to base teams in, and we need to move past the cliche. Past what we view as a traditional hockey market. We can reach new audiences and grow, enrich, and alter our great sport of hockey. In the next 50 years, we need to expand our horizons and build a global next generation.

JNH · 10-06-2019, 05:06 PM

There's a rumour that gorlab has returned to the league under an alias and was actually drafted last season. I don't know what kind of disguise he is wearing on the ice to get past the authorities but it must be good. I'm going to use this gala to see if he shows and then compare that to the photos of last year's draft class. I need to know if the goat man is back and I need to know where he's been. Aside from that, I'd be seeking out retired legend Darian Scherbluk cause he told me he'd come back and recreate in September and we're now in October which is a month later and he's yet to come back. So we're gonna have some words and I'm going to get him to come back and play for and then with me. Like the good old days and we're going to win cups. Sorry league, it's happening.

dylanjj37 · 10-06-2019, 05:11 PM

When Daniel received his invite to the anniversary gala, he did not want to go, He hadn't even played in the SHL yet. Unfortunately, he was told by his team that he had to go and so he reluctantly went to the gala. He sat at a table along with some of his teammates including Sammy and Ian but he also had a clever pan up his sleeve, or it was in his pocket actually. In order to not have to listen to the boring conversation by his friends and the probably even more boring speeches that were about to happen, Daniel had packed his pockets with snacks and made sure to eat before he left for the gala. He snuck off to the bathroom with his drink before the first course was served and managed to stay in there for pretty much the entire gala, spending the time on his phone and eating his snacks. It was only went he went to refill his drink that he was caught by Darnell Johnson, but thankfully he'd missed the majority of the evening and still got to enjoy dessert.

MCP_ · 10-06-2019, 05:12 PM

B

DuBølk's experience at the gala was interesting, to say the least. Because he was named on the S49 Rookie Team, he got to sit with the other 4 members of the team: teammates Olivier Cloutier and Gunnar Soderberg, as well as juniors teammate Monkey D Luffy and odd man out Corey Kennedy. However, their table was a bit different: for one, the table was much smaller than the surrounding tables, with smaller chairs to match. Next, the menus were a specially designed kids menu: very nice paper, with cartoon designs of hockey players and multiple activities to do on them, such as a word search, coloring activities (crayons were included, don't worry) and the ever so popular word jumble. As for the food, it was excellent: dinosaur chicken nuggets with french fries and a cookie for dessert. A very filling meal for the group, who pretty much sat around and talked for the night.

AlwaysGettingHaxed · 10-06-2019, 05:12 PM

Code:
D: You are one of the honored few asked to make a speech at the event. They give you total freedom in what you talk about - a moment in SHL history, a vision for the future of the league, anything you want. Give us an excerpt of your speech.

Kalevolaripaavo Käspertommevisnapuu was one of the S50 draftees honored to speak at the SHL Gala. Looked at as one of the possible talents in the future generation of the SHL, he was to talk about the future of the SHL and the spread across the world it has reached. As Käspertommevisnapuu approached the stand on the podium, speech in hand, Zallerras “Big Z” Szlerchek took the microphone and went on a rant.

The former first round all-time bust, and also another AGH client, was clearly inebriated, and was stumbling all across the stage. Nobody tried to take the microphone away from him as he was in a fighting mood, and many players know how that ends.

Finally, when Big Z was able to formulate some coherent sentences, he stated, “So you want to talk about the future of the SHL. All you pussies want to take away a vital part of the game, fighting. I didn’t want to fight all the time, but when I did the team was pumped. All you fuckers now want to play with your little tutus on, and play no touch hockey. Where the fuck is the fun in that, and who in the hell is running this league anymore. I mean when I played you took pride in the Turd Ferguson trophy,” (at this point, Szlerchek pulls the trophy out of his pants to show it off), “ and this thing is beautiful. No its like the goddamn Ark of the Covenant to win this award. The future of this league is sick and twisted, and its a fucking crying shame. I mean what a league this was, giving opportunities to players from the smallest hockey markets to showcase their talent in a top league. Now, now it’s just a sham of a policy, players from all over come here to avoid the hardships of the physical game. They can come over and avoid the NHL, because here in the SHL, they protect the weak. Make the SHL great again, but not admonishing the pugilists of the world , but accepting it as the noble art it is. Fighting is just as artful as the slick hands of the puck handler, the pinpoint accuracy of the sniper, the swift stick check of the defenseman, or the great toe save of the goalie. It takes talent to square off with the best fighters in the world, and now you have taken that option away from those artists.”

Then, Szlerchek began to mumble incoherency again, before being tackled by the entire Miami Dolphins defense, who were working security on their week off. The Dolphins’ coaching staff figured it to be good practice for them. Zallerras knocked out a couple players with a couple lucky shots, and after about a dozen missed tackles, the Dolphins finally got their man. Szlerchek was escorted out of the Gala, and was taken to the local jail to sober up.

Code:
~475 words

Troy_McClure03 · 10-06-2019, 05:21 PM

Written Task Options (150+ words total, pick 1 or 2):
A: Many of the notable retired players from SHL lore are in attendance at the event. What legend from the SHL past are you seeking out at the event and what will you talk about with them? Describe who you're looking for and how you go about meeting them.

It is nice to see all the faces in the crowd at this event, but seeing The Greatest SHL jrs player to ever wear the mammoth Jersey was a true treat. I speak of Troy McClure Jr. He was so well known that everyone was sitting super far away from him. He must be really hard to talk to, but since I have the same name; it should be a really good ice breaker. "Hi Troy, I'm Troy!" Or "Hey McClure. I'M MCCLURE TOO!" Man I'm nervous about this. Everything about him is just so legendary! Look at his outfit, dressed like a fucking boss in that waiter get up. I bet he does that to sneak in the back to get food faster. Look at that other waiter yelling at him to get back to work, Haha he doesn't even know. Oh man Troy Jr. Is even playing the part and is starting to work. Wait, is he vomiting? Haha what a card.... wait why's security getting him, let me see what's..

Oh, he was working the event? Oh. Nevermind, ill go talk to @Cash savage and @Toxic sitting over by that trashcan. Look at them, digging in the trash like a bunch of....

:(

ToeDragon84 · 10-06-2019, 05:24 PM

Code:
B: What are you doing throughout the night? Who are you seated with? What's going on at your table throughout the night's events? How's the food and drink?

It's the Simulation Hockey League's 50th season anniversary gala. With almost every player, GM, and coach in the building, Winnipeg Jets forward Jason Visser has reserved a luxurious private booth for one. As the celebration kicks off, the 38 year old veteran sits in complete silence, taking in the glamorous view surrounding him.

Reminiscing on the past 20 years of his career from junior hockey to the pros. Visser glares off at a waning crescent moon through a window at the top of the room. Wondering when he'll get a chance to see Selena Bauer naked tonight... Deep in thought, he's torn back into reality as the sound of the crowd briefly rises and dies with the opening of a door. The Visshound sits upright as he hears the venue staff coming to take his order "Hello?" Visser proclaims, he continues "Yeah, I'll... I'll I'll have the uhhh, lobster meal, okay. And I don't need anything to drink I have tons of water in here. Thanks".

"What in the fucking" an unknown voice responds, followed by a fit of laughter from another. The private booth next to Visser is swiftly occupied by one of the men. Could he be wrong about the catering staff? It was pretty early in the night he thought to himself. "Did you make a reservation here also, or?" -Visser asks. "Huh?", they respond. Just then Visser hears a new sound he can't identify. He ponders for a moment... "Is there a pipe leak, or something? Is that gas? We may need to evacuate!"

"Holy shit who are you guy?" one of the men asks. The other adds in "You play for Edmonton don't you bud?".

"No, I'm.. I'm uhhh", in a panic he tries to think of a name to tell them, Visser says in his most authentic Latvian accent "I'maaMaurizioooArrivabeneeeeee".

The Visshound sits in silence again... One responds "Jeesus christ", shortly after an angry machine like sound involving more water erupts from their private booth.

"AAHHGHHH", Jason Visser cries out, falling off his seat... Hearing more water gushing outside his private booth, his panic attack continues, "WHAT IS HAPPENING" , he wails. That's followed with a fierce grinding sound.

"WHO AM I? WHAT AM I?"

The two men go to exit as the noise of the crowd slips into the room once again for just a moment. Visser hears the following:
"Hey"

"What?"

"That's him"

"I know"
@Bonk @Slappydoodle

***micool132*** · 10-06-2019, 05:25 PM

Code:
A: Many of the notable retired players from SHL lore are in attendance at the event. What legend from the SHL past are you seeking out at the event and what will you talk about with them? Describe who you're looking for and how you go about meeting them.

I am seeking my bandmate Toki Wartooth of course. Wartooth had a respectable career with the KElowna Knights and the Toronto North Stars being a gritty defenseman. He helped his team win the S35 championship. I ask him some tips to get a better offensive output in the league, as he saw many elite wingers get past him and score goals. He didn't said much, but he told me to keep everyone that moves and to hustle to get the free puck and pass it to his partners. THe game is all about speed right now and being a checker is not an easy task if you can't hit opponents. We also planned a Dethklok reunion tour for the next offseason, hopefully I will get to bring the Cup with me to perform a show with it. We also talk about who else from the band could play in the SHL one day, let's say Murderface has some sick goalie moves, but he hasn't learned to skate yet.

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