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Loco · 06-16-2021, 09:58 PM

Throat Goat. He's been called a super star. The G.O.A.T. A prick. The Ur-Asshole of the Goat Hockey World. And now he's coming to the SMJHL.

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Out of the 5 goats that ever learned to play, Throat stood head and shoulder above the rest. This was partially due to his size, coming in five times the size of the average goat, and his skills, which were far and away better than the other four goats. However, his time in the GHL came to an end after a hard headbutt on Glizzy Goat late after the whistle, which caused fans of the "Cliff Steppers" to even go as far as calling 911 on the GHL's top star. To make matters worse, Throat had eaten the referees whistle previously in the game, and scored a goal before play could be stopped. The league decided they had seen enough of the controversial player, and banned him from the league permanently. Luckily for Throat Goat, there is no rule in the SHL and SMJHL rulebooks that says a goat cannot play hockey. Thanks to this, Throat is preparing himself to be taken by a team as soon as possible.

Our reporters caught up with Throat after his press conference to get his views on all that's gone on:

Reporter: You have been called both the biggest asshole goat to ever step on the ice, as well the greatest goat to ever lace the skates up. How do you respond to both of those claims?
Throat: *cocky bleating*

R: Interesting. Do you worry your attitude will keep SMJHL away from wanting to recruit you?
T: *angry bleating*

R: Sorry, sorry.
T: *spitting*

Out of fear for their life, our reporter ended the interview there. Where will Throat Goat end up?

[314]

SlashACM · 06-16-2021, 10:01 PM

#cocky-bleating

LordBirdman · 06-19-2021, 09:23 PM

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