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***Acsolap*** · 12-04-2023, 03:01 PM

Philadelphia is going to win the cup or at least give it a damn good try by doing what they have always done. Patience around team building, not making stupid trades with teams like Winnipeg, seriously stop trading with Winnipeg, and maintaining an active and friendly locker room that people what to commit to or even return to. We have consistently been one of the best teams in the league during the seventies and barring a total disaster or collapse of the roster I can not envision a situation where we are no longer competing for the cup season after season. On a more micro level our main rivals in the east have seen some regression in roster strength which also helps us and with Edmonton finally winning the cup last season the west is no longer a cake walk for Winnipeg although I think they'll be there in the finals again next season.

What do Hamilton and the Titanic have in common? They both look good until they hit the ice.

Credit to Ml002, King, Wasty, Carpy, Bruins10, Rum_Ham, Turd Ferguson, Ragnar and Enigmatic for the sigs.
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ElMerchanto · 12-04-2023, 03:10 PM

Absolutely infuriated that he would lose such a prime opportunity and especially to one as despicable and truly morally reprehensible as his most hated rival, whose name he conveniently can not remember seeing as the mere presence of it in his mind incites a hatred most bitter, Adelbert Steiner decided to have some good old fashioned fun and some what bitter vindication by wreaking havoc upon the so called celebratory golfing trip that the nameless rival had planned to celebrate his unjust and unwarranted joy at a season in which he was DEFEATED. Unfortunately for the recently resurrected defender, subtlety is as much as his strength as a chocolate teapots is insulation. So with that in mind, he decided to go for the timeless and respectable classic of taking a sledgehammer to his rivals golf clubs when he wasn't looking. Trying to perhaps tee off or escape a sand bunker in a most dastardly manoeuvre? the rogue will have poor fortune when he discovers that his prized club collection now consists of twisted lumps of metal better suited to measuring right angles. That'll teach him the dubious little swine that he is. See you next season idiot. Also knock knock who's there? It's not your Dad because he hates you after you brought those awful bent clubs to golf that one time.

Crash_Conrad · 12-04-2023, 06:15 PM

Sabotage is for the weak. We don't need to do all that to beat them. The way that I would sabotage their plans would be to work harder. That is indeed what we do best. Nothing beats hard work and dedication and when our team is completely locked in and focused during practice, all signs indicate that we will do the same during the game. The loser of this game goes golfing and as much as I love a good round of golf, I want to ensure that my team will be set to advance in the playoffs. Gotta lock and load thats what we do! It doesn't matter the opponent, our team has what it takes. That is called grit. With grit you dont have to be the best to beat the best. Working hard and setting goals can help advance us further. Load up the Platoon we are ready!

Bonk · 12-04-2023, 07:00 PM

Writing about the New Orleans Specters winning cup this season is a bit a stiff ask, but here we go. New Orleans Specters will not have an easy road to the cup, especially considering the New Orleans Specters are getting 6-1 odds on the casino. So, I think it is fairly understood that New Orleans Specters are not considered to be serious contender for the cup. But hey you never know. The Specters path to the cup will more than like be beating out Winnipeg for the Central Division championship and then it would more than likely require New Orleans to then beat the Edmonton Blizzard for the Western Conference championship and the it would probably mean that the New Orleans Specters would have to face off against either the New England Wolfpack or the Philadelphia Forge. That would probably be the path and
Then people would be asking: Why couldn’t the New Orleans Specters listen to music?
And the answer would be simply: Because the New Orleans Specters broke a record.

Words ~172

***Takk806*** · 12-04-2023, 09:29 PM

OPTION 1 - Rock that dad bod

Graphic option: Draw your player's dad holding the cup.

Should've picked the written option...
[Image: image.png?ex=6580f1c4&is=656e7cc4&hm=23e...y=lossless]

[Image: image.png?ex=6580f1c4&is=656e7cc4&hm=23e...y=lossless]

SewingWithNancy · 12-04-2023, 09:57 PM

To secure another championship, the Timber must harness their winning momentum and fine-tune their game plan. Firstly, building on the strengths that led to their previous victory is crucial. The team's camaraderie, resilience, and strategic prowess played pivotal roles in securing the cup. Jeff Goldblum may look older and more frail, but if preseason is anything to go by, the man is ready to sacrifice his body to block shots, slam bodies, and be an all around defensive powerhouse on the ice. Strategic roster management is key. They definitely lost some major players in Tree, Cormier, and Urtles, but they can leverage the other seasoned veterans with the younger talents and foster a balanced and dynamic team. Southpaw will be encouraging consistent performances from star players while nurturing the potential of rising stars like Wain Gretski and Jordan Thompson will bolster the team's chances. Honestly the worst part of not repeating the championship, is that South wont be mad, he will just be disappointed, which is the worst penalty I can think of.

***BadWolf*** · 12-04-2023, 10:37 PM

The Winnipeg Aurora will win the cup this season. How are they going to do it you might ask? Well they have a secret ingredient. A special defenseman unlike anyone they have every seen before. And her name? Sydney Shaw. Shaw has skills that will take this team to the next level. Specializing is shut down defensemen tactics. On and off the ice (that may include fucking moms). This kind of attitude, commitment, and raw talent is what Winnipeg needs to bring the Win back to Winnipeg. Of course Shaw couldn’t do it alone, it is a team game after all. The whole team together is what will win the cup at the end of the day. All… 21? Of us? Idk I can not count. Something like that. Rock that mom bod Shaw. You mark my words. The cup will return to Winnipeg, and it is not just Shaw, it is the raw skill. And if we do not win. Skill issue for sure.

MCP_ · 12-04-2023, 10:49 PM

Code:
OPTION 1 - Rock that dad bod

Written Task: Describe how your team is going to win the cup this season, because obviously they are. Include at least one dad joke.

What is a barracuda player's favorite call of duty trickshot? An 0-50 no-scope!

Despite the storied and tumultuous history of the Tampa Bay Barracuda Riot King Nightmare Wolve Monarchs, it's their time to shine in the limelight once and for all, and they'll do it by doing something no other team is doing: grit. That's right, they're going to hit, knock the puck out, and put it in the other net before the opposing team can say "micool is gonna win the cup." Since all the other teams in the league decided that high end skill was the peak of team composition, what would happen when they faced a team that would drag them down to the depths of hell every game, much like a barracuda? The answer is they can't, and they will suffer the consequences of their team-building decisions. Now, could this backfire? No, because this is the most soundproof a plan can be. Bow down to your new masters, as a new era of cuda domination begins.

***frithjofr*** · 12-04-2023, 10:54 PM

OPTION 2 - monkaS

First I'd start out by getting a job in their front office and working my way up the ladder over the years until I was finally offered a position directly dealing with the team. Something low level, probably. All the while I'd be taking management courses at the local university and stuff until I could get my MBA. With my MBA I'd apply for the mysteriously vacant equipment manager position. I'd borderline outsource all the work to lower level employees (like a true MBA) and make sure that everything they do follows a strict, yet comprehensive flowchart. According to the flowchart all shipments and deliveries should be handled SOLELY by UPS. I'd also negotiate with UPS to get favorable rates - that's the cover. After 3-5 years in this position, while *also* working nights at UPS as a truck packer, I'd leave the equipment manager position and work full time for UPS. Within another 3-5 years I should be able to get a delivery route. A little known fact about UPS drivers is once a year they get to bid on routes based on seniority, so I'd be a medium-level UPS employee by now, and would probably be able to bid for the route that contains the arena. Once I secured that route, I'd consistently miss delivery times from anywhere from an hour or two to a day or two. Since UPS employees are union it's incredibly hard to fire them or punish them by moving them off route, so long as all the deliveries are eventually being made. When critical deliveries such as team equipment were on my route, I'd "accidentally" pack them onto another truck to further delay the deliver. Try playing a game without sticks, idiots.

***39alaska39*** · 12-04-2023, 10:55 PM

If I was trying to sabotage the rivals for a must win game going into the playoff season, you can’t do something that would be considered a normal prank like putting clear tape on the bottom of their blades. What I would do, I would start by loosening the screws on their skates so that they would fall off in the middle of the game rather than at the beginning. While equipment staff personnel are equipped to handle a blade coming off, I don’t believe they would be prepared for all of the blades coming off, or unscrewing them in a way that would result in the entire runner falling off for each player. Of course, the biggest problem would be if the goalie’s blades fell off as they have a lot more gear on and they would be in a much more difficult position to replace in a timely manner with all the other players having issues as well.

Alex Winters (retired)
Matej Winters (retired)
Dominik Winters
S45 Jesster Trophy Winner
Challenge Cup Winning Goal Club: S52

Tsunny · 12-04-2023, 11:03 PM

Option 1:

There is no doubt Québec will win the cup this season. The team is looking very strong in the preseason. Granted the 4-2-1 record in said preseason isn't the most expensive but for that the reason is very simple. Québec have been trying out new systems. With the regular season underway, the team is already in 4-0-0. With Hunziker averaging 3 points per game. Trade acquisition O'Beirne averaging 1 points per game alongside Murphy and Desjardins. Speaking of Desjardins it's safe to say last year's rookie class is looking to be very promising for Québec. In fact players like Pawn, Jagrbomb and the Solberg sisters are only warming up. There is really only one team standing in Québec's way who is none other than Maine Timber. Even that won't be lasting long as Québec will soon be yelling TIMBEEERR as they will be chopping down Maine's winning streak.

ACapitalChicago · 12-04-2023, 11:20 PM

Now John Brown does not intend to brown nose, but he does intend to kick some ass, pardon the dad pun. His intent is to play a hard and fast game that allows the team to be physical and demand the opponents cough up the puck whenever they try to acquire it. Ultimately, he's kind of just a tired old man at this point so he just screams at the young whippersnappers and they don't know what to do so they just give him the puck which he then gives to his teammates. It's a very unorthodox system but it is one that works. That does remind him of the times but mosttly the ones where he was yelling at people to get their shit together. This ultimately gave him a strong reputation as sort of a "team dad" figure, but John Brown has had kids and the Tampa Bay Barracuda are not his kids, but he shall raise them

S66 Damian Littleton

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spooked · 12-04-2023, 11:30 PM

OPtion 1

The Minnesota Monarchs are coming into this season with the best odds they have had at doing something since the season 50s or 40s even, bar a couple seasons in the middle maybe, but even so, things are looking up. Based on historical results even a good season... or maybe even a great one... may not be enough to really make a dent. The best teams in the league always just seem that step, or leap, out of reach from the next best. Minnesota is probably somewhere around that "next best" at the moment, with a bright future, but still missing some pieces or some growth that will put them in contention with the best of the best rosters, even if a few standouts are coming back off of amazing seasons last time around. I think there may be a chance, but it will probably come down to Minnesota getting a good slot in the playoffs, ideally 2nd seed in the division, and pray that Edmonton and Winnipeg get upset before we have to play them, or pray one of our two top quality goalies pull through and get hot in the post season and pull us through. The finals is probably a little less scary, but there are still some great teams in the east to play potentially, but you never know if the team that gets through will be the best one or maybe one within reach....

*RashfordU* · 12-04-2023, 11:56 PM

Aurora is going to win the cup, I think. I’m not sure if it’s a big cup, or one from a vending machine, but we’ll definitely get Atleast one more cup than we’ve got previously. Sometimes we might even try to weh the cup, but it doesn’t really matter how heavy it is at this point.

Hopefully benching Rashford helps the team this year. Keeping him off the ice should help ensure that the other team can’t pick on his defensive weaknesses, as Rashford hasn’t even remotely come close to a defensive award nominations.

we also plan on playing with two goalies simultaneously. At this time it doesn’t appear that the SHL has a rule against two goalies being on the ice at the same time, and you should expect to see Carpet and Montagne sharing the crease and ensuring that all angles are covered on the ice.

RaidTheArcade · 12-05-2023, 12:04 AM

You know what they call a fish wearing a bowtie? SoFISHticated! Haha! Now that've gotten that out of the way, I would like to explain how the Detroit Falcons are absolutely, positively winning the cup this year. I think the best argument is that Kenny Omega has finally hit the main SMJHL TPE cap of 425, meaning he'll be at peak performance for the team these last 2 seasons, which is perfect. And it's not just Omega either, Alongside Omega, there are 7 other players who are either near or right at the 425 mark. A lot of these players are also core players for the team that have already contributed to what was a good season last time out, so you know it is only a matter of time that everything will come together perfectly for the Falcons to finally deliver a cup. With a solid defense, a great offense, and unstoppable goalies, it would be surprising if the Falcons DIDN'T win the cup this year, and that's why you know it is basically a foregone conclusion.

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Word count: 178 words

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