What's up, it's ya boi Troy Reynolds here to show you around my sweet house. First of all, take your fucking shoes off when you enter my house. Sophia didn't clean this place up just to have you track whatever shit you brought in from the outside world onto her carpets. This is a nice two bedroom home. I'm really glad it has two bedrooms because that became useful when Sophia got pissed off about the hookers. It's a decent sized home, not too big, not too small. And before you ask, no we do not host parties here because parties are overrated. If I wanted to go see some dopey ass teenagers smoke pot, I'd go back to Manitowoc and find some dumbass high schoolers. I don't need that shit in my house. That's stuff you reserve for doing at your friend's house. And it's legal here so bite me, critics. What's in my house? Me and Sophia and our cat. Look at our cat and fucking worship her beauty.

SHE'S FUCKING ADORABLE AND YOU WILL LOVE MY CAT OR I WILL KILL YOU. Anyways, I would lead you to our master bedroom but it's currently undergoing cleanup due to an accident on the bed. And then on the floor. Then in the shower. It was an eventful night okay. I drive a simple man's car, a nice 2019 Nissan Sentra. It gets some nice gas mileage and quite frankly I'm not a narcissist who buys a fuckin Lambo or some shit. I love our environment so I'm trying to cut down on emissions while not filling the pockets of that cock Elon Musk. And in my fridge, I've got some Coors Light. That's Coors Light because Bud Light don't pay me nothin. And we've got your usual snacks like bacon, some frozen pizza in the freezer and some leftover funtime brownies. That's my house, now get the fuck out of here.