Sometimes, you just need to do a little good old-fashioned trash talk!
Written Option: Write at least 3 different haiku poems trash talking a rival team, a rival player, the league, whatever.
Code:
Haiku Format:
Only three lines, totaling 17 syllables throughout.
The first line is 5 syllables.
The second line is 7 syllables.
The third line is 5 syllables like the first.
Create a tabloid magazine cover featuring a scandalous headline about a player from another team.
Reward
4 TPE for doing the thing. (Just one of the options, not both.)
Only S50 SMJHL Rookies (S51 SHL Rookies) are eligible for this PT.
Do NOT claim TPE for this task until a post has been made in the claim thread.
Deadline Sunday 10/20 @ 10pm EST
Colorado high
Eyes red as a pummeled nose
Felled, broken, losers
Vancouver passes
Gastown whistles out the rear
Discharging dangles
Fort Whoop-up just whooped
Bjornosonson so bad
Revenge is coming
Who are our rivals,
Oh wait; The entire league,
Still stand not a chance.
What is a Scarecrow,
I will sleep with all their mom's,
Let's call that a score.
Terrible rebrand,
Carolina doesn't care,
Poor Wood Buffalo.
Look at your low skill
No one is as good as me
Undraft this guy now
The league is tight
But the teams are shit as hell
Except Kelowna
Dont blame me for it
Blame your GM for the trash
That he makes your team to be
Colorado sucks
No one likes their uniforms
Their GMs smoke crack
Vancouver hunt whales
Let their fans down every year
Blubber bad for heart
We all hate Detroit
We really just hate Detroit
Detroit is just bad
Alex Petrenko
Will win Rookie of the Year
You fools should watch out
Anaheim Outlaws
Don't let our record fool you
You all will go down
Ruslan has the goals
But I'm a passing mofo
No rookie better!
I lost my first game.
I have no feelings of shame.
I still want to cry.
I'm with the Outlaws.
We will step and trounce on yall.
Most of you have flaws.
I'm the best rookie.
I hope you all will see me.
I'm the best goalie.
Anchorage hockey
Is such a sight to behold
If only you lack eyes
Kelowna is harder
For players and fans to say
Than they are to play
Vancouver is poor
Lineup to coach and goalies
Fans cheer Halifax
WannabeFinn-o?
The worst of the Kekkonens
Letting the team down
JC Penney, hmm
Better than KC Phillips
He does not sell clothes
Cody is no good
Diablo Cody is good
Writer of Juno
Vancouver, who's that?
They're literally the worst
Get out and stay out
Matt Kholin likes to stab
I just want some Russian fun
No hookers here though
Thicc Cheezy struggles
This league is absolute shit
It is not his fault
Vancouver Whalers
You are a terrible team
The worst in the league
Regular season
Everyone makes playoffs right?
What a waste of time
Haikus don't need rhymes
It doesn't make any sense
Just like head office
Raptors win again
Crushing halifax today
then carolina
Anaheim will fall
their goalie will stop nothing
not a single save
Henrik Lundqvist Jr
can take down any team he faces
with awesome passing
I hear fuck Detroit
Falcons don’t smell super good
Might be the poop stain
Knights live in tin can
Can’t score when you can’t see stuff
That’s why they are bad
No pucks in the net
No Lions present in Lethbridge
Find more similar
(ran them in a haiku syllable counter so they should be good)
Vancouver Whalers
Nobody messes with us
Not even your moms.
Although we are last,
Don’t think you will have a blast
Because you will Fall.
And when that happens,
You will be gone with the wind.
For we are Whalers!