Simulation Hockey League

The Maine Timber Halloween party. A yearly tradition that always goes wack. This year however, there was no more Captain Kalashnikov that would dress up as Captain Russia, no more Roach dressing up as well.. a Roach. And no more MAS going all out on his Elvis costume (belly included). Therefore, we had to really step it up to fill the hole left behind by them.

I came dressed as the most vile thing ever, something you don't ever want to be or become... A Newfoundlander. @AgentSmith630 dressed up as "Ricardo Bjergo", the best disc golfer there ever was. @Cobbenstein was classy as always, dressing up as Mr. Bond (RIP Sean). The GMs came in dressed as Eugene Melnyk and Pierre Dorion to honor the work well done with the Ottawa franchise.

The party got out of hand as it usually does. The older guys are just trying to scare the ever living shit out of the younger ones. Newly acquired @dogwoodmaple and @Jonny Tsunami barely making it out alive from "The Spooky Woods"  which is the usual location for our parties. A great welcoming to our beautiful young rookies!

For halloween this year, Henrik Lekberg Osterman wanted to do something special for his teammates after a really sour season. Everyone knew that they would likely be at the bottom of the standings but that doesn't make it particularly enjoyable as a player. He also wanted to combine the Halloween party with some kind of introduction to the city to all the new guys in the locker room. So it was decided that they would go Alcatraz for the Halloween party. What he failed to do however, was secure the funds from the organisation to rent out the locale for the party (sometimes it's hard to know just how popular/expensive a place is!). Therefore the venue was changed to the San Francisco Labyrinth for the party. Having never seen it, HLO was expecting something rather grand. Like a large hedge maze or the like. So when they arrived they were all quite disappointed. They made the most of it either way and ended up going to HLOs place and watching the Army of Darkness.

The Maine Timber took a different approach to their Halloween celebration this season. This year they decided to do a haunted forest walk for not only the team, but for the community in Portland. Any funds raised were donated to the local hospitals. The players took shifts working in the forest. The horror attractions ranged from running at people as a chainsaw wielding maniac to being fully dressed as Bigfoot. The big attraction that caught a lot of attention was an artificial portion of the forest where the trees would slowly move and follow people. It was good fun all around and allowed the players to interact with the fans and raise some money along the way. After the haunted forest had closed for the night the players went to a local bar had a standard Halloween party. The players all came in costumes and the booze flowed freely. It was a good chance to kick back and unwind before the playoffs took off again in a couple days.

Due to Covid, the halloween party this year for many were not that big. Yet Zlatan ibrahimovic jr decided to have one anywayz. He called his entire team to his cottage where he threw a party. Just because Zlatan likes doing things very extra, you can imagine he had a lot of extraordinary things at his party. Covid didn't bother him at all, especially since his dad already beat it and is killing it in the Serie A league. So Ibra jr was just like meh about it as he knew the covid had more to fear him. So he invited strippers, special guests and everyone. He had an underground casino happening as well. While many of these things were illegal, zlatan didn't care. He dressed up As a Snake charmer and all the girls were just petting his snake. It was that kind of party. Yes cops did show up but they decided to join the fun instead of handing out tickets. What a night it was.

The Annual Berserker Halloween Party was hosted by none other than our managers, JNH and Corey. They came dressed as their idols, Donald Trump and Mike Pence respectively. Lassi was the first one to arrive, in his Pete Rose costume, he started making bets with JNH on who would show up when. Kierkegaard, Kahnwald, and Podcalzone all showed up together as Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi. Liam Slate showed up already drunk and dressed like a hot dog. His eyes widened as he saw a cheese fondue fountain. In the process of running over to it he bumped into Marner, sporting his Borat maskini. Slate fell face first into the cheese fountain and dumped it all over himself and passed out on the floor. Cale Amundsen finally showed up dressed like the Tiger King, walking in with 3 girls in catsuits and chains around their necks. It was an awesome party to say the least, but due to JNH’s carelessness the whole team came down with Covid just days later.

Our Halloween party involved the usual suspects with something of a drag party.  I was dressed up as Janet Jackson, nipple ring and all and no was not a piercing, don’t let any of these liars like Karl Krashwagen @CementHands tell you different.  Nat Emerson @Thelastheraclid and Valentin Kalashnikov @suavemente played a lot of ska music and also the place had some odd ambience to it which you might think is odd if you don’t know them, but it’s pretty decent and I jived with it.  Halfway through, a couple of my mates thought it would be funny to try and bob for apples, but not in water.  Instead they poured a bunch of beer and threw the apples in there.  It almost felt like rookie hazing when they decided that I would be the first to try and I totally embarrassed myself and got beer up my nose like an amateur.  They tried to get Simothy Drunkebird @Esso2264 to do it, but he just laid on the couch totally smashed and mumbling about Natu.

Like any good party, you need food. Halloween, you need a costume, some games would be fun, We are all adults here too so why not some booze. Everything from spooky treats like eyeball martinis, pumpkin soup in pumpkins, candy galore were all on display and the Toronto North Stars Halloween Bash. You had classic costumes like mummies, vampires, Frankenstein's Monster, as well as more conventional things like Lumberjacks, TV show characters, and such. I cannot remember who, but SOMEONE came dressed as a sexy police officer in fishnets. (I think it was @UrsinZ )

Fun games like bobbing for apples, bean bag tosses, and disgusting shots once everyone was drunk enough were also all part of the fun while the main dishes featured a bevy of briskets, ribs, steaks, and hearty stews. Some say that party is still running today as time has a way of blending together as the days blow by. Luckily having this thing hosted by @UrsinZ made it obvious who was on clean up patrol

Hi. New englend wolf halloween party was crazy. Ethan Price was disguise as Bob Barker. Slap McShotty was disguise as Reggie Dunlop. Jakub Bruchevski was disguise as a Bruschetta. Sasha Dangelchek was disguise as D'Angelo. Mitchell van der Heijden was disguise as Milan Hejduk. Rafe Ulrich was disguise as Rafiki. I was disguise as SD. Stan Hanson was disguise as a Stan. Shooter McGavin was disguise as McLovin. Sven Yxskaft was disguise as grandmaster who pay his best player good money. Just kid. He was disguise as Pewdiepie. Dominic Montgomery was disguise as Dominic Moore. Perry Morgan was disguise as Piers Morgan. Igor Volkov was disguise as Igorrr. Erben Kasius was disguise as a piano. Troy McClure III was disguise as Brad Pitt. Frans Eller was disguise as Lars. Alexander Thorstrom was disguise as first keeper. Ace was disguise as Queen. He try make me tink i meet queen but i can see his enormus balls throo his dress.

jason desrouelx is a goofy feller aint he? lol this year at the famous hamilton steelhawks super halloweel party time he dressed up as a funny narrator / cum man. haha how wacky and goofy is that? So much fun happened. Gabriel Johnson dressed up as a funny dinosaur. was it the best costume of the night? yeah perhaps it was definitely up there. All of the steelhawks members arrived and they played goofy games. They bobbed for apples was so much fun! Rotti Scotticus ended up winning that because he has a big mouth hahahaha. He was dressed up as a pilot wow he looked so cool in his pirate costume. But he did not win best overall costume. That went too A jobin! He looked so scary! A Jobin was dressed up as a ghost! He was scaring everyone at the party. It was almost too scary. Take it down a notch next time A Jobin. I do not think my heart can handle that lol.

I dressed as Jack Skellington from Nightmare before Christmas but it didn’t go to well. The makeup fell on the floor and someone stepped on it and tracked black makeup through my house. I’ve been cleaning carpets all morning and that shit does not come out. The party itself? I never went so I wouldn’t know but they usually have a good time. I’ve been looking up carpet cleaning products all morning. Also, the makeup was a nightmare to wash off. I washed it off my face and the white base came off no problem but I still have some black in my eyes. At first I just had two huge black eyes like a raccoon but it looked like I was crying. It was actually scarier than just going as Jack. All in all it was a good Halloween. No trick-or-treaters so no one destroyed the house. But my poor carpet might never be the same.

The Cudas' Halloween party was something to behold if I do say so myself. Everyone on the team decided to dress as a different aquatic creature. I myself decided to go as a horseshoe crab, a personal favorite aquatic creature of mine. Fitted, being the team player he is, decided to go as a Water Dog a.k.a an actual barracuda, getting drunk and screaming and shouting as per usual. What a beaut. Fiddler was a tiger shark in the sense that he had a shark costume and also some cat ears on, which was pretty comical to me, definitely a creative one. Cuddles was a jellyfish, looked pretty wild dancing with all those dangly bits and I honestly was surprised he didnt fall right on his ass, especially after all the alcohol. Knight was an octopus and much like I expected with Cuddles, I thought he was definitely going to trip on one of his tentacles and fall on his ass, but he never did.

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With the pandemic going on we basically only had each other as an option for any sort of halloween celebrations since we've all been quarantined together since the start of the season. We decided to go with a themed approach and went with 90s Nickelodeon cartoon characters. Roach, Seppala, Wang, and Hair all came as the rugrats babies with Seppala being the Tommy Pickles of the bunch. Nothing like seeing a 6'2" baby barely able to stand after repeatedly losing at beer pong. Me and Hippo showed up as Ren and Stimpy, Stimpy wasn't a big stretch for Hippo since he's borderline Hippo-like. Kholin showed up as Rocko with a Filburt plushie that was torn to shreds by the end of the night. We basically replicated the copious amounts of Nickelodeon slime that was always on their shows for some weird reason with various green alcohol that made a mess... we left the hotel maids a nice tip at least.

The Seattle Argonauts Halloween party got a little out of hand. Due to some internal bets throughout the season, a few of the players had to dress up as Disney Princesses. Bo Kane showed up as Rapunzel, Cassius Darrow was Cinderella, Kriss Darzins was Ariel, Tig Murphy was Jasmine, and Knute Knurtsson was Belle. As you can imagine, the rest of the team spent the entire night messing with them. There was A LOT of liquor consumed throughout the night, at one point the "princesses" had a strip tease contest where Darzins took the victory. It was a little strange and uncomfortable just how good it was and the team is planning on having a meeting to discuss what is up with that. Overall it was a great night and a good way to finish off the season as a team as now everyone is heading back home for the summer.