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Who's Getting Nailed (S47 Edition)
#1

(word count: 435 + research)


Back again for another breakdown of who's getting ravaged out there on the SMJHL ice

The Sasha Grey Award
"Getting Nailed the Most"
Metric: Total Hits Taken

1 - Matt Kholin (HAL) - 131
2 - Raino Kyllonen (DET) - 114
3 - Martijn Westbroek (ANA) - 109
4 - Aaron Wilson (VAN) - 107
5 - Monkey D Luffy (LBL) - 106
T6 - Knute Knurtsson (COL) - 104
T6 - Kristoffer Svensson (MTL) - 104
8 - Cant Eykhil (LBL) - 97
9 - Xena (ANC) - 95
T10 - Ja'Aj Coitus-Wagg (COL) - 94
T10 - Borromini Cannellini (VAN) - 94


The Mia Khalifa Award
"Relevantly nailed for a short time"
Metric: Hits Taken / Minutes Played (min: 300)

1 - Matt Kholin (HAL) - .129
2 - Andy Kerr (VAN) - .127
3 - Raino Kyllonen (DET) - .124
4 - Gaspard Boone (HAL/STL) - .122
5 - Aaron Wilson (VAN) - .115
6 - Ja'Aj Coitus-Wagg (COL) - .110
7 - Mika Kandinsky (STL) - .108
8 - Lex Peters (DET) - .106
9 - Monkey D Luffy (LBL) - .101
10 - Knute Knurtsson (COL) - .100


The Power Bottom Award
"Never not getting nailed" 
What's going on with Kelowna this year? Half of the top ten in this category
Metric: Hits Taken / Hits Delivered (min 300 minutes played)

1 - Gunnar Soderberg (KEL) - 6 (72/12)
2 - Josef Novotny (KEL) - 5.5 (22/4)
3 - Barry Batsbak (KEL) - 4.28 (77/18)
4 - Kristoffer Svensson (MTL) - 4 (104/26)
5 - Lex Peters (DET) - 3.85 (50/13)
6 - Yoshimitsu McCloud (ANA) - 3.78 (34/9)
7 - Zach Laliberte (KEL) - 3.57 (50/14)
8 - Bryan Lee (KEL) - 3.44 (31/9)
9 - Gaspard Boone (HAL/STL) - 3.23 (84/26)
10 - Spencer MacLean (ANC) - 3.11 (87/28)


The 69 Special
"Give a lick, take a lick"
Metric: Closest to even in Hits Taken / Hits Delivered (min 20 in either)

1 - Jimmy Slothface (HAL/VAN) - 45/45
2 - Theo Morgan (VAN) - 44/44
3 - Josef Kubinec (HAL) - 34/34
4 - Travis Bitties (DET) - 32/32
5 - Fork Spoon (STL) - 30/30
6 - Taisei-Tiikeri Wawazat (STL/HAL) - 72/71
7 - Big Fudge (KEL) - 49/50
8 - Zarley Zalapski (MTL) - 36/37
9 - Emeka Valentine-Okoli (COL) - 27/26
10 - Griffith Cadwalader (MTL) - 58/60


The Jim Harbaugh Award 
"The body actually craves contact"
Metric: Total Collisions (Hits Taken + Hits Delivered)

1 - Cant Eykhil (LBL) - 189
2 - Matt Kholin (HAL) - 184
3 - Nathan Explosion (KEL) - 179
4 - Martijn Westbroek (ANA) - 177
5 - Raino Kyllonen (DET) - 169 
6 - Vadim Malichov (KEL) - 168
7 - Commander Shepard (MTL) - 167
8 - Michael Fox (STL) - 163
9 - Kalvins Zvejnieks (DET) - 159
10 - Borromini Cannellini (VAN) - 155


The Tori Black Starlet of the Year Award

Nominees: 

Matt Kholin (HAL) 
Raino Kyllonen (DET)
Kristoffer Svensson (MTL)

Winner: 

Matt Kholin (HAL)

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congrats @Kalakar on the award!

[Image: ekovanotter.gif]
thanks @Carpy48 and @frithjofr and @rum_ham and @Julio Tokolosh and @Briedaqueduc for the sigs
Armada Inferno Norway
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#2

Perfectly balanced two seasons in a row, I love it.

Good work!

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#3

05-20-2019, 11:38 AMslothfacekilla Wrote: Perfectly balanced two seasons in a row, I love it.

Jimmy Slothface, hero for equality

[Image: ekovanotter.gif]
thanks @Carpy48 and @frithjofr and @rum_ham and @Julio Tokolosh and @Briedaqueduc for the sigs
Armada Inferno Norway
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#4
(This post was last modified: 05-20-2019, 11:59 AM by PenKnight.)

I made one of the Lists!!  
Unfortunately, it is named the 69 Special.
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#5

wow people like hitting me :(
I wonder which attributes affect this stat
Seems like everyone on the list is a center, and I assume centers carry the puck more often which is why they're getting hit

Player info | Updates | Stats
SteelhawksCanadaWhalers

[Image: aawil.gif]
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#6

05-20-2019, 12:15 PMaaronwilson Wrote: I wonder which attributes affect this stat
Seems like everyone on the list is a center, and I assume centers carry the puck more often which is why they're getting hit

Definitely being a center seems to be the most important part. I, too, am curious about the attributes. I'm gonna do this same breakdown for the SHL some time this week, when I get some free time i'll do an attributes analysis to see if i can find some correlations

[Image: ekovanotter.gif]
thanks @Carpy48 and @frithjofr and @rum_ham and @Julio Tokolosh and @Briedaqueduc for the sigs
Armada Inferno Norway
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#7

Wow, what an honor. I want to thank my family, without which this would never have been possible. Also, my former teammate Jimmy @slothfacekilla Slothface who was there every step of the way to help me and push me towards greatness. Thank you to the SHL for making this possible, I will try my best to be at the top again next season.

[Image: Kalakar1.gif]

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#8

05-20-2019, 11:38 AMslothfacekilla Wrote: Perfectly balanced two seasons in a row, I love it.

Good work!

I have found the heir to my Thanos throne. :O

[Image: Zoone16.gif]


[Image: 9QVaMRC.png] [Image: canybyK.png] [Image: sXDU6JX.png]
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#9

05-20-2019, 12:24 PMhotdog Wrote:
05-20-2019, 12:15 PMaaronwilson Wrote: I wonder which attributes affect this stat
Seems like everyone on the list is a center, and I assume centers carry the puck more often which is why they're getting hit

Definitely being a center seems to be the most important part. I, too, am curious about the attributes. I'm gonna do this same breakdown for the SHL some time this week, when I get some free time i'll do an attributes analysis to see if i can find some correlations


Suggest you look at skating stat for players with higher hits taken. Is there a drop off for players with 75/80 skating Vs those with 65/70?

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#10

Nice.

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#11
(This post was last modified: 05-20-2019, 03:17 PM by ProjectSaint.)

EVO7 does not like being 69 listed. He does find it hilarious, tho.

EVO7 also questions why the hell the 3 awards are named after porn stars and 2 more named after more sexual things.

[Image: ProjectSaint.gif]
Sig Credit: Flappy (EVO) and Skolpaddor (RESO)

EMEKA VALENTINE-OKOLI/PLAYER

First SMJHL Goal: Colorado Raptors, Emeka Valentine-Okoli 1 (Mikelis Ozoliņš 4, Loki Odinsson 3) at 3:12, 2nd Period (GWG) / SMJHL S47 Game 47 Day 12: Colorado Raptors vs Detroit Falcons
First SHL Goal: Texas Renegades, Emeka Valentine-Okoli 1 (Josef Kubinec 5, Ricky Spanish 4) at 16:23, 2nd Period / SHL S51 Game 71 Day 16: Edmonton Blizzard vs Texas Renegades

Eternal RaptorsRaptors Old, onwards we roll Rage

And Let's Retire at the Pinnacle
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#12

I want to thank the power bottom academy for this award, I moved from third to first place in my category since last season and I think I can only continue to uh, go down from here.

[Image: gunnarsoderberg.gif]



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. : [Image: U66t7Jy.png] : .
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#13

I'm glad my pounding led my victims to be on an award list!



Character Page RD- Quarterback
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Retired players:
-Toki Wartooth
-Nathan Explosion btw
-Angus McFife XVIII

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