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***FuzzSHL*** · 11-13-2019, 12:04 PM

Champagne bottles are popping, Sweet Caroline is blasting on a speaker in the corner, and the Kraken are riding the high of a Four Star Cup repeat. They are the third team to do so since S40, but they don't care, that's not what's in their minds right now. A season of hard work and long, grueling days have paid off yet again. Nothing can stop them now.

Sunday morning started like any other morning would. The Kraken began their morning skate as they had every game beforehand. Michael Fitted was notably absent, seemingly only the coach knowing why. Some rumors began to circulate that Fitted fell ill and wouldn't draw into the lineup that night, and maybe that was all part of the plan. Other rumors, however, spoke of a darker happening in a supply closet somewhere in the Spectrum Center. On the other side of the United States, people were just starting their day. Sundays are always rough on those on the west coast, especially for a man like Terry Bradshaw. On the east coast, most people are able to wake up, make some breakfast, get some work done, and relax a little before Sunday football. On the west coast though, Sundays are basically another day at the office. Terry Bradshaw lives a nice life though, having been a quarterback in the world's top American-football league who now gets to cover the sport he loves every week. A first ballot Hall-of-Famer, it has always seemed like Terry's favorite sport was America-football.

Little did the world know that this was a front for one of the best kept secrets the world had never known.

Michael Fitted spent the majority of his early life in his homeland of Finland. He has played hockey since he could walk, something that has propelled him into the success he has found with the Carolina Kraken. He has always had a excitable and outgoing personality, something that has made him a locker room favorite everywhere he has played. In his teen years, it also made him a fan favorite in the Finnish amateur league. He also fell in love with American culture when watching the SHL drew his attention to American pop culture. One thing that stood out to him: American football. Fox NFL Sunday was always something Fitted made sure to never miss, as he was able to get a lot of information in only an hour's worth of time. Supposedly, when Fitted was little, he wrote a letter to Fox NFL Sunday, saying only "Take your burp off. Spin it riund yo head like a hell chopper." While the rest of the Fox Sunday crew dismissed it, something about this weird letter from Finland peaked the attention of Terry Bradshaw. Thankfully, the end of the season had come and Terry had some time off.

Fitted walked off the ice after his team's final regular season game in the FAL. He took two steps into the locker room before dropping his stick and stopping in his tracks. It couldn't be, could it? Terry Bradshaw, the man himself, waiting at Fitted's locker. No one knows what words were exchanged that day, but some say a cult was formed this day in honor of the balding legend.

Fast forward to present day. Fitted walks up to the Kraken coach and informs him of a ritual he performed the previous season before the Militia's finals appearance. Uncharacteristically showing signs of nervousness, the coach gave in to superstition and allowed Fitted to miss the morning skate for this ritual. The exact steps of the ritual were unfortunately not made available by those involved, but some say it involved a party size bag of pork rinds, a broken stick, and a popular sports league's anthem.

So this brings us to where we are now. The Kraken are celebrating a repeat and everyone has seemingly forgotten about Fitted's absence at the morning skate. Sweet Caroline fades out, and amongst the cheering, a hooded figure makes its way into the locker room. Sweet Caroline fades in again, and it takes a moment for the team to notice the new person in the room. Neil Diamond's voice starts to build towards the chorus, and that's when the team notices. The cheering fades, the cameras have somehow disappeared from the room. And in one fell swoop, the shroud falls and the chorus hits...from the corner of the room, Michael Fitted shouts the three words that will carry with the team for generations to come...

"SWEEEEET TERRRRYYYY GUUUUYYYYYYYYY"