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S53 PT #2 - April Fools

Nolan Sawchuk generally tries to avoid April Fools as he believes it to be a bit of a waste of time. However after former teammate Nickolas Klaus pranked him 3 seasons ago by shaving a reverse mohawk into his hair as he slept, he's been slowly waiting for the time to strike back. With Klaus now on the other Florida based Simulation Hockey League team, the West Kendall Platoon, the Tampa Bay Barracuda forward has gathered what he needs and intends to get him back twice as hard. He drove from Tampa Bay over to West Kendall very early in the morning with a couple friends and picked up the sleeping giant. The crew then proceeded to duct tape Klaus to a palm tree in his backyard, cover him in whipped cream, set up a camera on his roof and left. Klaus will definitely be pissed but it'll be hilarious to watch him struggle to escape the tape trap.

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Olivier is not much of a prankster because he just can't be bothered with it, but he does appreciate when someone pulls one over on someone else. Pranks are so commonplace in hockey locker rooms that April 1st doesn't even register on his radar, so when he walked into the locker room to find it absolutely covered in printed out copies of his best thirst trap picture from instagram--one of the ones he took of his abs real close up, flexing and making a stupid face at the camera, which he put on his insta story at ass-o'clock on a sunday morning and then took down an hour later when he sobered up slightly--he thought it was just another Wednesday, albeit a little more drastic of a prank than he'd normally be expecting. A glance at the date clued him in - it was going to be a long day of fielding teasing and trying to figure out who exactly he should be exacting revenge on.

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ArmadaUkSpecters
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April Fools Day is a holiday for pathetic, immature children with feeble-minded senses of humor, incapable of perceiving or understanding the nuances of sophisticated comedy. Therefore, I was more than happy to take part in it this year. My prank? Telling my GM, JKortesi, that I was going to leave the team in free agency because he wasn't paying me enough money. The genius of the prank is that I received a contract that pays me an average of $7 million per season, which is likely more than even some of SHL's biggest stars. So telling him that it was not enough is fantastic because all though it is simple, it made him very angry because I already squeezed him dry in the first place. It was truly brilliant, and Joe found it hilarious and not the slightest bit upsetting. He in no way unleashed a string of curse words that formed into a sentence that damaged my very soul. Also none of this happened, which is the real prank.

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My favorite teammate to prank is CT Carragher because he is so silly and never catches on to the pranks that I am playing on him. SO for April Fool's day, I did what any good teammate does, I thought of the most evil prank I could possibly think of. I asked Carragher what his biggest trauma from hockey was and he told me that he couldn't skate because he never took off the protective tape on his skates in the 3rd grade. So naturally I acted as a good friend from knowing this trauma. I took clear tape (extremely clear mind you) and I put them on the blades of his skates. When he went onto the ice for practice, he very clearly slid and fell across the ice. The entire team laughed at him and made fun of him. I felt bad because I realized I traumatized him more. Maybe now he knows to not be an idiot.

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Slap McShotty sneaking into @5ympathies's house every night and resetting the calendar to April 1st.

hodOOOOr'hOOOdoooooooor hoooodor hOOdOOORRRR, Hooooooodooooorrrr HoooooddddddddoooooooRRRR

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I don't really care much for Aprils Fools, but in our locker room it's eat or get eaten. So you do what you have to do and start dishing out pranks before you just become a victim. So the other day I was trying to come up with some good pranks and I didn't know any original ones, so I went with a classic airhorn under the desk chair prank in Esa's office. So what you do is you tape an airhorn under the chair and when he sits down it well sounds the horn.

So not long after I planted the airhorn and the camera to tape the whole thing Esa sat down in his chair unsuspiciously and immediately fell off his chair. We all had a very good laugh and Esa is still looking for the person who did this. We all had to do extra hot laps, cause nobody ratted.

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I haven't found myself to be much of a prankster over the course of my hockey career. Obviously some guys are more known for it than others, and I guess I fall into the "others" side of that. The only notable prank I can recall performing myself was back in Lethbridge. I try to keep things light, but as the captain, I made sure to be as professional as possible. That's why when my good buddy, Cal Clucker, joined the team I made sure to give him a good welcome. I set up a "tour" of the city for Cal, so he could become well acquainted with his new home. First, the homeless gentleman I hired led him to his favorite local eateries. Then he took him to his favorite run down home on the edge of town, where he proceeded to sleep for roughly two hours before Cal decided to try to find his way back to somewhere he recognized. The next day I got a call from a team equipment guy saying Cal never showed up to get set up, and I ran out to find him. Towards the evening, I found him wandering around near the soup kitchen, which he found his way back to and I was able to bring him back to the team facilities so he could shower and eat. Anyway, I decided to retire from the prank game, as I feel I am unsuited for it.

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April Fools day is one of those occasions that you don't necessarily look forward to but when it is that day you're excited about it. Who doesn't like a good prank? Bo Kane loves it, however, this year he plans to use it to his advantage big time. The San Francisco Pride are very strict with showing up to practices on time. If you're late without a very valid reason, you should expect to be doing some type of punishment. Could be something as simple as cleaning up after practice or doing bag skates. Kane plans to get a good group of the guys to hang out the night before a team practice and get the booze flowing. Once everyone has reached a certain level of intoxication he will change the clocks in the AirBnB ahead by 2 hours so everyone but him will be late in the morning for practice. Watching them all have to do bag skates while hungover will be priceless.

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This year Al Kayhall decided it would be hilarious to fill the rink with actual trees. Over night he worked with a local nursery to move over four hundred trees into the rink. It took hours to move them all in, and they covered every inch of the ice. Unfortunately this is when he encountered an issue that he hadn't thought about. He would need to provide light for all the trees, and some warmth or they would die. The owner of the nursery was quite adamant about that. So Al went and equipped heaters around the rink and turned on every light in the rink. Slowly the ice started to melt and panicked Al went and cranked up the thermostat to cool the ice. The energy output of the rink tripled in the span of a couple hours. People noticed multiple plants going inside the rink and they called the police to inform them of a potential illegal grow operation. The police examined the energy use occuring in the rink, agreed with the reports of suspicious activity and stormed the rink. Al spent the rest of the night at the police station answering questions and the Maine Timber reported for practice on the 1st to discover no ice and hundreds of trees.

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Dick Clapper isn't a fan of pranks very much, but when the opportunity to prank a teammates rises up around him, occasionally he has to seize the chance. As primary alternate of the Wolfpack, it's not a great look to be hassling the rookies, especially when you're supposed to be a "leader" or something like that. But the occasional ribbing won't hurt them much, so it's all good. My first prank is on myself where it's an inability to get a PT pass to skip this PT. That was a great prank because now I have to write this before the deadline later today. The second prank is on myself again, where a 4 goal game from me in the pre-season has been removed from the record boards. The third prank, and this is the last one, again is on myself for betting on me to be the goals leader after the strong pre-season showing, instead of betting on teammate Wagstrom like everyone else in the league.

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