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***hotdog*** · 03-09-2021, 10:56 PM

the new award should be the Eko van Otter Award for slipperiest skater and it will go to the skater who most exemplifies the quality of being really slippery during the season. This could include getting lubed up to increase slipperyness (insofar as such materials are deemed acceptable by the league's governing body at the time) or a natural slightly less wet form of slipperyness that manifests in shifting quickly around the ice and avoiding opposing skaters. The award is named after Eko van Otter, who from the late S40s through the s50s into the s60s was the slipperiest skater that had ever been seen skating on a simulation hockey league rink/arena. van Otter was known for his incredible natural slipperyness on the ice. The nominees for this season's award would probably be Eko van Otter (namesake, frontrunner), Guy Zheng, and Patric Twist - the latter two have probably soaked up some of van Otter's slippery qualities enough to make them among the slipperiest skaters in the league this season.

*Julio Tokolosh* · 03-10-2021, 12:52 AM

I will use the placeholder of "bum-ass award" for now. I think it works, but If something creative strikes me, I'll throw it in later.

Tokolosh's Bum-Ass Award is given out to the active user's player who has the worst time-on-ice to fantasy point ratio and TPE ratio. I used fantasy points as they are a general indicator of on-ice activity. Both offensive and defensive actions are rewarded, although there are a few empty spots (statistics like takeaways). Many players have low statistics. As a rookie, Julio was limited in ice-time, so his lack of contributions was proportional to his deployment. As he's grown, he's had up-seasons and down-seasons, but eventually has grown into a pretty complete player; he almost had an award nomination! The Bum-Ass Award recognizes big ice-time players to do not contribute statistically even though they have the ice-time to make a difference and the TPE levels to budget a skilled contributor.

Before doing any research, my gut tells me to remove GM's players from evaluation as their role and locker room management abilities traditionally dictate that they take a less glamorous role.

We're in the throes of s58, so I'll look at s57 for a little analysis even though I'm at 225 words, now I'm just curious.
ok its a lot of work. I'll make it a media post next week.

The trophy would look like a glass orb filled with air, symbolic of the vacuous hole that the player left on the ice.

***golden_apricot*** · 03-10-2021, 07:57 AM

pt pass

**OrbitingDeath** · 03-10-2021, 09:31 AM

An award which even Vorian Atreides can win would be the ironman award, the award for the forward with the highest minutes played in a season. Last season Atreides would have been on top of the forwards (hence me excluding defenseman just to be sure). A player so important for the team that they just can't do without, regular play, powerplay and shorthanded play on the penalty kill, it's all in for Atreides. The iron man of the Los Angeles Panthers might not play that part of a role in it's team offense, but defensive he is a staple that they can't do without, and a big reason why the Los Angeles Panthers clinched a playoff berth last season.

The iron man award could also come in a defensive variety, so that there would be two persons winning an award extra each season, and when looking at the 200 replies you mentioned, it's another 1% of the users with an award chance. Who wouldn't want that. So my suggestion for a new award, would be one that helps the players that eat all of the minutes without standing out offensively. Let's hope this award comes to play retroactively, so I can atleast win one thing during my career.

Frick_Nasty · 03-10-2021, 09:52 AM

So I decided since @Blastmeaway decided to steal my idea of the Chad I will have to create the antithesis of the Chad award. This award will be given to one of the cleanest players in the league. This award will be given to player who generally has the least amount of penalties. Is scared to getting hit or hitting others. Also this player would refuse to fight as well. This award would be none other than the Gabriel Johnson award. The three finalists for this first time award would be grape fruit, juni panda and Henrik Lundqvist Jr. Grape Fruit leading the way with only 4 hits, no fights and only 31 shots blocked. Henrik Lundquist Jr. Right up theree for only 4 penalty minutes and 5 hits and no fights. The you have Juni Panda who did get into a fight but lost, maybe the other just didn't like his face. 7 hits and no shots blocked with 7 penaly minutes with 5 coming from getting his butt kicked in a fight. Be a good award to watch.

**RomanesEuntDomus** · 03-10-2021, 09:59 AM

If I were to create an Award around my player then it would probably have to be built around being old, consistent and reliable, maybe a tad conservative and not overly flashy. Sort of an unsung hero or most underrated player award like the give out in the SMJHL, or similar to the Littleton Trophy but for on-ice contributions that might have gone unnoticed instead of off-ice dedication. I probably still wouldn't end up winning that award particularly often because there are quite a lot of players around the league who are like that, veteran players who put up good numbers year after year, who are loyal to their teams and help make people around them better, but don't have the luck of being on one of the top-teams in the league which almost seems to be a prerquisite to have the numbers to be in awards conversations nowadays given the way how individual and team stats seem to be connected in the FHM era. I think there are many deserving but not overly vocal players around the league who we could show our apprectiation for that way.

Slappydoodle · 03-10-2021, 10:07 AM

I would like to create a brand new award called the Scott Stevens award. It would be rewarded to the best defenseman in a given season as voted on by the committee. In my fantasy, the committee would not just hand the award out to the highest scoring defenseman, but would instead actually focus on the things most integral to defense. I know this sounds crazy but hear me out here, I’m thinking guys who play defense should maybe try and play good defense. Awards given out to defensemen should try and award good defense. Of course, this would also mean doing away with the utterly useless and idiotic Bojo Biscuit award for best defensive defenseman, which is a little like awarding the wettest water. I understand such out of the box thinking is scary to some people. It’s ok. Well all get through it together, one day at a time. I promise.

CaptainCamel · 03-10-2021, 10:37 AM

The Binder Cheapass Bum Award goes to Paul Binder, the player that performs the best with the lowest bank account. I do not get how he does it, but Binder is currently leading his team in points and he has not once done a single media or graphic post. He's scraping by living paycheck to paycheck, bank account is in pennies at the end of every week, but somehow he manages to pull off a successful build. You see guys with multi-millions in their accounts, but Binder? No, Binder doesn't need that. Give Binder his 600k a week from Twitter and he will turn that into a legendary all star player. You see, there's an art form to being a cheapass bum. You don't throw your money away on casino posts with this under over bullcrap (what the hell does that EVEN MEAN???), with this limited money, you really have to think and strategize on how your training is spent to build a good player, not just throwing it all into fighting for the lulz. Binder could easily win the Cheapass Bum Award yearly while still remaining active, no doubt about it.

WC: 197

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