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S58 PT #5 New Award

The prestigious new award that everyone will be fighting for is the golfer trophy. Do you have a player who plays on a 3rd line? Does your 3rd line team never score any goals? Does your goalie make your defense look completely incompetent beyond how terrible it already is? Well guess what! Your negative +/- now gives you the shot an at award. The golfer trophy is given to the player with the lowest plus minus in the league! Lets take that terrible joke that people make when losing about “I thought this was golf scoring” and turn it into an award for your terrible player. This will be a perfect award for all of your IA and casual users. Who would have thunk that you could give little effort and still win awards. If you’re a bad manager that keeps losing games you can say that you’re doing it to keep your players in award contention and it will make you look like a manager who really cares about their players.

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Even if it is in theory possible as defenseman to win Sarmad Khan, Ron Mexico, Sergei Karpotsov, Jay McDonald or maybe even Jeff Dar award as defenseman in reality it isn't happening leaving top defensemen competing for two awards that often would seem to be even mutually exclusive meaning that there isn't much for defensemen to look forward to during award season. That said with Björn we have even more special case where he really isn't popping up with great numbers on offense to win the defenseman of the year award but is still lacking on defensive side to be considered for Bojo leaving him nicely in between. So for him to have a shot at winning an award we need to ad something for your average defenseman and while most mediocre defenseman award sounds nice I think even more vague and somewhat questionable best two-way defenseman award should be added for people who aren't good enough to win either of the two current awards.

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Sigs by @Carpy48, @Nokazoa and me



This new award is designed so everybody can feel like a champion. Whether you are total ass at playing hockey and are more a liability to your team than anything, are inactive, or you were robbed of an award you were supposed to win, the Participation Award is for you. Yes, everybody gets this award, except those that win awards that actually matter during the season because we can't be THAT generous, can we?

It's basically a way for the SHL to tell its players, thank you for being here, thank you for playing and keeping the league alive. Now fuck off. Not because we don't love you but because we have to add this award to all of your bum ass profiles and it's gonna take all season before we have to do it again for the following season. Everybody has that award added to their profile so we can all enjoy having a little trophy under our name when we post. Thanks, SHL!

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Why stop at one new award? Why not give an award to everyone, that's what this participation-trophy generation is like now : not putting in any effort and expecting to be rewarded for existing. Soon we'll have to create a best breather trophy just because that's apparently the only thing some people can do right. If I had my way, we'd have a trophy for best forward, one for best defenseman and one for best goalie. I guess I can settle for a best rookie one too, but to me that's basically saying you're the best of the worst players. You're a rookie buddy, eat some spinach or something and get stronger and then you'll get a trophy. But no, you want trophies, I'll give you trophies : best french user to Evok, best big brother to Andrei, best playoff format to anyone but the FHM devs and most salty about that last one to me.

I guess that should land me the best fake boomer rant award too, eh?

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PBE

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If I ever recreate I will probably be building a more offensively minded forward as opposed to a two way one, so an award I could win is the Gabe Johnson award which is given to players who excel offensively but are absolutely atrocious and lazy in their own end of the ice, so it's like the opposite of the Dar trophy. Winners of this award will usually be near the top of the league in points, shots and goals. These players won't necessarily commit a lot of giveaways but because they never backcheck, they will have close to 0 takeaways and thus a terrible ga/ta ratio so that's one quick way to identify the potential nominees for this award. their +/- will be around 0 because Gabe Johnson award winners generate just enough offense to make up for their bad defense, but if someone manages to score a lot and still end up with a terrible +/-, they'd be the favorite to win most seasons.

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Most Similar to an Animal Counterpart.
This award obviously only goes to players who have quite weird attributes or names. In fact, there are a lot more of these players than one would think. Now my player, Panda Panico, is obviously named after the incredibly cute Panda Bears. However, while Panda Panico isn't some big large meathead of a person. He is one cuddly and cute human. Although, when he gets mad. HE GETS FUCKING ANGRY. Panda will go down swinging with the best of them to protect what he loves. Just like the Giant Panda Bear. All Panda Panico has ever wanted to be in life was the greatest player in the SHL. While that might not happen, he surely will be remembered as a nice lumbering giant huggable person who will absolutely kick the shit out of the other team if they piss him off.

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David S. Pumpkin's season hasn't exactly been the most prolific thus far. After winning the championship last season, his beloved Anchorage Armada took a bit of a tumble in the leaderboards, partially thanks to the back alley shady dealings of universally adored general manager Garmada Despacito. Pumpkins of course does not place the blame squarely with his team - he is willing to eat more than his fair share of blame pie, as he isn't leading the team in scoring, he hasn't won any fights, hell he can barely skate around without tripping over his own feet. His hockey playing has been less than ideal this season quite frankly, but thankfully, I do think there's one award David Pumpkins might be in the running for: Halloween Lover of the Year

That's right. With a name like David S. Pumpkins, how could he not be? He may not have the most personality in the league, he may not have the most (many-est) hands in the league, but nobody appreciates the great tradition of Halloween like David S. Pumpkins does. If you vote for Pumpkins for this award, he promises two things: Reese's cups for all (peanut butter-less substitutes available for those with allergies or shitty taste in candy), and the abolition of candy corn.

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Armada Aurora

Hammarberg is an average player playing on a good team. He is defensively sound, but won’t stand out against defensively sound players that are on teams that give up a lot of shots against. He puts in some points, but won’t stand out against offensive teams with amazing firepower. He somehow gets a decent amount of penalty minutes, though. His giveaways is 28 and his takeaways is 28. With 59 hits (almost 1 per game). All in all, he is pretty average.

So the award I suggest to be added for Rikard to have a chance in getting is the Average Joe award. Awarded to the most mediocre player in each team. Nominees will come from every team, where they will pick the most mediocre player with the middling stats in the team, and all of these nominees will then be placed against each other to see who the most mediocre player in that bunch will be. All stats will be taken into account and the median value will be utilized to determine the most mediocre player in the SHL.

Wait, Rikard will never win this award because he plays for Hamilton, like all the other awards. Damn. I can’t even make up an award to be given to my player. (JKJKJK don’t hate me)

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This is really interesting PT to do. My award would be definitely called ''Best Underrated Defender''. Not the best defender in the league, but might be best underrated defender for sure.

My player isn't definitely the best defender in this entire league yet, but he is doing well and I would say he is underrated. It was his second season in SHL and he already have more than 1200 TPE in total. He just had second consecutive season with 25 season points aswell.

He had +22 plus/minus this season, only 10 penalty minutes and even a hat-trick as a defender. Plus, he is playing on a winning team and just great franchise in general. He doesn't have huge ice time aswell - it's only a bit over 15 minutes per game, plus only around 30 seconds per game on powerplay or shorthand.

Not big ice time, decent in points, pretty good in statistics in general and working hard and gaining all TPE possible almost every time. Best underrated defender? You decide.

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PBE PT

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There are some unofficial awards going around for the last drafted player but the award that I would create is the Golden Spoon award. This goes to the player that has the worst stats at the end of the season. This is judged by goals and assists and +/- but also it looks at ice time. This is so that benched players don't auto win this award. So the player that earns this has to actually be playing and trying but is still doing the worst in the league. Because they deserve the recognition of being the worst of the worst. The #1 bad player and they should wear this honor like a badge. They can show it off to their kids that they were the #1 worst player that season. We could also add this as an Of all Time award. The possibilities are endless. If there is a tie then we make the players play against each other and do their best to make themselves lose. first one to lose wins the award.

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The award I've come up with isn't just for me. It is to be awarded to multiple players. It's been created to make sure everyone wins at least one award during the life time of their player. Even if they only play a single season in the SHL. This new award will be called "The Participation Award".

Now, who is to be given this award. Well, it's supposed to be awarded to every single player in the SHL that doesn't get one of the other 12-ish awards. It will be awarded to everyone just because they are here and making this league what it is. And it's obviously better than any of the individual, selfish awards. Why would you run around gloating that you were "the best defenseman"? Who cares, really? It's all about participating. And I gotta say I'm really good at just that.

I'm pretty confident that I'll be given this award during the upcoming ceremony. I did worse than last year but this time we didn't even make the playoffs. Easy participation award win.

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Past Players


The leagues tough guys have been underappreciated for far too long in this league. Game after game they lay their bodies on the line in order to protect their teammates, as well as stir up some energy out of nothing for their teams if they are flagging. While their teammates certainly appreciate their efforts, the league as a whole do not give them much recognition, and they seem to be a dying breed in the game today. In order to bring some more attention to these valiant acts of courage and honour (and shithousery), I bring forth the Protector Award award, awarded to the player deemed to be best in the league in standing up for his teammates and putting his physical being on the line time and time again in order to keep his fellow teammates safe as well as to energize them and keep them playing at their best when times are low. Here's to the fighters! (My player would never in his life win this award, the delicate flower he is)

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Sig by @Ragnar
(This post was last modified: 03-13-2021, 11:47 PM by SFresh3.)

Unfortunately for me, my player is a bum among bums and there is no award that I could even imagine to create that he could win.  So, I guess I will have to create a user award that I would be able to win over other users.  For this I will come up with the Updater Award, given to the Updater who does the most updates every season.  It shows dedication to their site job to be actively updating as much as they are able to each week.  As someone who has no life outside of this site, I have been one of the more active Updaters, and this Trophy would be in my cabinet for the past 3 Seasons and looking to make Season 58 a four-peat for this Award.  The only time I would not have won this Award would be in Season 54, where I first started the job as an Updater after a couple weeks into the Season. (@Zombiewolf please make this a reality)

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Credit to @Symmetrik
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