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*JURT* · 03-13-2021, 01:20 PM

I counted what we've got in here so far because I was bored and want that single extra TPE, it was not worth the effort, maybe I'm the alien (I should add my name to the list). Here are some observations :

A lot of people think there are more than one alien.
Of those, 8 think it's just various people across the league.
Two consider it's some team's whole roster (one thinks Winnipeg, another thinks Vancouver
There are more people who think no-one is an alien (6) than people who think everyone is (2)
@Hordle is technically the one with the most votes since users and players are separated, but if you combine them @Gwdjohnson has more individual votes
There are more placeholders than anyone got votes, what is wrong with these people remains a mystery
12 person identified themselves as aliens, whether intentional or seemingly unintentional

Here's the list:

Code:
Many Aliens 8

ph 7

None 6

Hordle 5

Andrei "Clean" Kostitsyn 4

Julio Tokolosh 4

Esa Parmborg 3

Gabe Johnson 3

Gwdjohnson 3

hotdog 3

Keenan 3

Monkey D. Luffy 3

Tony Pepperoni 3

Ambacas Cuddles 2

Commander Shepard 2

dmills 2

Dogwood Maple 2

Elizabeth Doyle 2

Everyone 2

Friedensreich Hundertwasser 2

goalies 2

Gooney 2

JSS 2

lespoils 2

Luke 2

Luke Thomason 2

Mew Two 2

Name Redacted 2

notorioustig 2

Rookies 2

Titan 2

TURG TURG 2

Valentin Kalashnikov 2

Vorian Atreides 2

Zebulon Leavitt 2

#A-Rye Izzy 1

ACapitalChicago 1

Acsolap 1

AgentSmith630 1

Alex Petrenko 1

All the Petrovs 1

Animal Renders 1

Awesomecakes 1

Axel Meszaros 1

Basil Sivart 1

Bean Beanman 1

Beeg Yoshi 1

Bobby Sharp 1

Boris Petrov 1

Burlok Sulfurgold 1

C.K. Supernaw 1

caltroit_red_flames 1

Cassius Darrow 1

Cian McFelter 1

dankoa 1

Dextaria 1

Edward Williams 1

Eko Van Otter 1

Evok 1

Faelax 1

Finn Von Murphenstein 1

First-Name Last-Name 1

Fitted2106 1

Golden Face 1

hockeyiscool 1

inverted 1

Jason Desrouleaux 1

Jason Visser 1

Jasper Maximov 1

Jayhawk 1

Jeffie 1

Jimmy Wagner 1

Jobin 1

Jon Forty-One 1

Jöörgüštrâäd DuBølk 1

Karl Krashwagen 1

Kaspars Claude 1

Kermit Murphy 1

Lyle Odelein III 1

Manuel Gotze 1

Michael Fitted 1

Mika Kandinsky 1

Muford 1

Nathan Thomas 1

NeverBrokeAgain YoungBoy 1

NL GMs 1

Pablo Salvatici 1

Photoshop gods 1

Podan Podanovic 1

Puddles O'Duck 1

Robot Sunfish 1

Rude Sniff 1

Sachimo Zoideberg 1

Scoochie Stratton 1

SlachACM 1

Strom Chamberlain 1

sve7en 1

Svens 1

Teddy Park 1

ThatDamnWalrus 1

Twitter users 1

Unclear 1

Vili Tuga’tūga’bo’atu 1

Wasty 1

Whalers' Roster 1

Winnipeg's Roster 1

Won't say 1

Yngve Simonsson 1

Z0REM 1

zaynzk 1 

Zoltan Topalo 1

Zomp 1

Zoone 1

Ronniewalker · 03-13-2021, 02:35 PM

If I had to suspect anyone (besides Manyhands) on the SHL site of actually being an alien, I think it might be (Clean) Andrei Kostitsyn. That man could not have become as clean (not to mention as funny) as he is now without some extra-terrestrial help, so I suspect he has been abducted and what we are seeing here is a modified clone with the wit of an alien being manifesting itself on the forum and other social media.

Sigs by sulovilen , Ragnar , supertardis101 , Leviadan , High Stick King , Carpy & KaleSalad

S69 Challenge Cup Champion - Philadelphia Forge Forge

S59 & S62 Challenge Cup Champion - Texas Renegades

S57 Four Star Cup Champion - Anchorage Armada Armada

S57 & S58 WJC / S62, S64 & S66 IIHF Gold Medalist - Team Finland Finland

After 69 shots on net with still no SHL goals to show for it, even the opposition started to feel so sorry for Lemo, that they decided to help him out :D

- Bad pass by Jack Klompus, he gave it right to Lemo Pihl.

- Lemo Pihl rips it to the net...

- Lemo Pihl will find the empty net, that should do it!

TEX @ MAN, S59 game 31

*puolivalmiste* · 03-13-2021, 02:50 PM

You would think that Manyhands is an real alien or some of the other creatures we see here might fit the description but I'm extremely confident it is just a conspiracy by NASA and US government and they are actually just people in suits drawing attention away from the fact that aliens don't exist at all.

enigmatic · 03-13-2021, 03:46 PM

I have been suspecting that Max Müller is not from this world ever since we were both drafted by the Winnipeg Aurora and we have been interacting with each other. He is kind of stalking me (it's probably the other way around but still) and I refer to him as the Drax of sim leagues because he takes everything litteraly. Maybe he actually is Drax...?

Massive Coiler · 03-13-2021, 03:54 PM

Harry Carpet was put on this planet by a superior race of physical beings just to see how he would compare to us, and he is blowing us out of the water, folks.

***Patty*** · 03-13-2021, 05:36 PM

I highly suspect @Nhamletof being an alien. His day just has more hours. Between all the testing and scouting and budget stuff and media. I have no idea how he has time for the rest of his life. My only explanation is he's a time traveling alien.

DannyC · 03-13-2021, 05:50 PM

Sometimes I feel like we're all aliens. Like what if once upon a time it was just dogs on the planet and thats why dogs are out here just vibing while us aliens struggle and grind away tryna support ourselves and have a good life.

peej2189 · 03-13-2021, 06:27 PM

Sometimes I see @hockeyiscool Dwight Knight walking around the locker room in a full suit of armor. I gotta be honest, I think its because he is reverting out of his human body for a little while in order to let his alien self relax. That would also explain why he makes weird noises and is so damn good on the ice.

awils13 · 03-13-2021, 06:28 PM

Maybe Hamilton's goalie A Jobin is an alien because it seems impossible for anyone from this planet to be as good as he has been since the moment he entered the league.

jtam · 03-13-2021, 06:45 PM

I think Michael Scarn of the Hamilton Steelhawks is an alien. While the top players in the league fluctuate a bit, Scarn has been consistently in the top echelons of the league for the past several seasons, even before he was in Hamilton. No one is that consistent. Unless he is an alien…

KlusteR · 03-13-2021, 07:43 PM

Us goalies have always been a bit on the weird side for many players, and it's even more pronounced since the shift to FHM. Now, any one goalie can show up and ruin an opponent's day, at any time. It's wild, and I don't think humans would have that much difficulty with consistency. Which is why I believe us all to be aliens, in a way.

(70 words)

Hazack · 03-13-2021, 09:38 PM

While the correct term is Xenos not aliens I believe #A-Rye Izzy has to be an alien. No one in their right minds would use a # in their name if they were not. This puts me in a predicament because he is on my team and I am bound by my duty to the emperor of man to erase all heresy from the universe. This includes aliens.

**SFresh3** · 03-13-2021, 11:14 PM

Ever since entering this league, I've had my suspicions. As the seasons went on, more and more things revealed themselves to a point that I am confident to expose them. I believe @AgentSmith630 is not of this world.

Their activity on this site from day one has been rather suspicious. In their first season on the site, they were the top TPE earner in S55 up until Fantasy Earnings pushed a handful of his classmates ahead of him, alongside of doing many media pieces, including this massive 10,500 draft preview, bringing his Bank Account to an astounding $29,400,000 in that single season.

Then we get on to the meat of the evidence, his Jobs. He began as an Updater in Week 4 of S54, amassing 130 updates over their first season with their consistent strategy of always updating Anaheim ( Wink

). They were an Updater until Season 57 when they stepped down.
They then went on to take the Job of IIHF Simmer, running the International Simulations beginning after Season 54 finished, while preparing for the Draft, where he would of course be the 1st overall selection for the San Francisco Pride. This position was held until the Season 57 as well.
Leading right into their next gig, with the leadership change in San Francisco, they were selected to be Co-GM alongside Thatguy91. That is quite the job for someone who just joined the site a mere 3 months prior.
Then at the end of August, they took on the massive task of Simming SMJHL starting with Season 56, which he holds to this date.
Finally, they are a member of the Hockey Talk Tonight podcast that broadcasts every week, discussing many topics about the league with the co-casters sve7en, Faelax, and hockeyiscool.

There is just no way that a normal human being could be doing this much.

Quote:309 words

5ympathies · 03-13-2021, 11:54 PM

Tbh i think I might be an alien. I feel like im being controlled by someone who is making me pay every week a crazy amount of money for trainings and every few weeks I get marginally better at certain attributes in my hockey game. I wonder if any of my teammates feel this way also?

Thanks to JSS for the signature

JNH · 03-14-2021, 01:16 AM

Without a doubt, it is @SDCore. Once he stumbled his way up to me like he was working with 5 legs (they may have been concealed) and then he stared at me and his left eye was looking in one direction and his right eye was looking in another direction.

Though... in hindsight this was probably just another Tuesday night for him so... uh I take it back?

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