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Wawazat · 03-14-2021, 07:14 PM

The award I propose is ....
The 5x55 Manifestation of Mediocrity Award

It’s a career achievement award for spending a minimum of 275 games in the “J”

Just as the 5x55 Manifestation Method is a BS alternative, tide pod eating,pseudo science to actually creating success.
Read the following if you doubt me...
”The 5x55 manifestation method is a structured system to bring your desires into reality.
Over the course of 5 days, the aim is to align with the frequency of your intentions by targeting the unconscious mind.
This method works on the basis of the law of attraction, but adds a more structured approach in order to really commit to manifesting.
This makes it a particularly useful tool for those who find themselves more scattered and inconsistent in their approach to manifestation or simply aren’t getting results from their usual techniques.”

The Award I propose is the brick and mortar tangible reality touchstone of this hyperbole. It’s an award that will eventually out live this league and be included and applied in the fields of arts and sciences and someday be a better looking twin to the Nobel or the Academy Award.
The true measure of sustained active mediocrity is the bedrock that has helped establish this SHL thing.. this activity known as BS Sim Sports and that activity perpetuates the sustained ceaseless pursuit of true mediocrity for this now 58+ seasons.

It would be my honor to be the First recipient of this Prestigious Award hopefully at the end of season 60. But…Only time will tell.

Thank you for your lack of attention to this proposal and please continue to stare at your electronic devices for all your influenced socially accepted critical decision making.

(287 per word counter )

juke · 03-14-2021, 07:53 PM

If I have to think of a new award for the league that my player could reasonably win, then we're already handicapping ourselves a bit cause there's not too many categories in which I excel. I guess my first award would be called the 'Uno reverse' award, and would be reserved for the best penalty killers. But in true spirit of the award, it wouldn't be the best PKers defensively, but rather the players that are able to turn the man advantage around and score the most efficiently while being down a player. I would fall short of this award, ranking 7th among defensemen in the league in shorthanded points per shorthanded TOI, and Ivan Maximus would likely run away with this one with a league leading 6 short handed points at just 1:19 pk TOI a game. Another award that I could unfortunately be in the running for would be the 'Michael Scott you miss 100% of the shots you don't take' award. Although it sounds like a positive message, this award would be for the people who should probably stop shooting, as they have the lowest shooting percentage. At 5th worst in the league among players with 150 SOG or more, I think I could be a strong contender to get a nomination for this honor, and who knows, maybe next season I can be lucky enough to the be the favorite to win it.

***Rankle*** · 03-14-2021, 08:29 PM

If there was any award that Ronlain could win, it would probably be the award for being the closest to hitting milestones without actually hitting them. If i recall correctly, multiple seasons now Ronlain has been on the cusp of getting a few extra TPE from those milestones, but his lackluster performance in the regular season has simply not been up to par in order to allow him to hit the requirements for the milestone claims. I mean when you're on a team like Tampa, you gotta expect to miss quite a few of them, but to be so close and yet still not hit the mark is kinda frustrating and honestly a little disappointing, so it would feel good for Ronlain to have some kind of award in order to commemorate that effort that just wasnt quite enough. Plus, I could claim that award in the milestones, offsetting a bit of the TPE I missed out on.

Chomp Chomp Water Dog Barracuda

Scarecrow Noises Scarecrows

shutdown · 03-14-2021, 08:29 PM

There’s not many things my player is good at. Passing, skating, shooting, scoring, teamwork, vision, defense, shot blocking, checking, stamina, and speed to name a few. That’s why we really have to dig deep in our bag here to think of an award that even my player can win. And that’s how I came up with the lazy bone award. Made of 24k gold, the lazy bone award is given to the most lackadaisical player in the entirety of the SHL while still performing mediocrely. Doing enough to fill a roster spot, but doing less than any real functioning player. Just when you’ve forgotten he’s on your team or a line mate, I’ll score a goal just to remind everyone I’m still here. Or maybe even a shootout goal to really get all eyes on me to say hey teammates and coaches, look Im not totally useless and I still should definitely be paid my entire contract and no you shouldn’t cut me I’ll do all my trainings next season I promise.

Serpe x 13 · 03-14-2021, 08:37 PM

The award that I would win would be the Victor Fedorov award. This award recognizes the best defensive player in the league that also has the best looks in the league too. Fedorov who has this award named after him is a great looking guy and is known to be one of the most well dressed player in all of the simulation hockey league. But he is also known for his out standing defensive skill and the award greatly show cases how some one with so much defensive skill and good looks can be recognized in the league as a top player. This award recognizes an on the ice and off the ice skills that just can not be taught. The award will be one of the most sought after awards in the league because upon winning the award millions of woman/men around the world will recognize the player in the league is the most well looking and want to date them .

raymond3000 · 03-14-2021, 08:42 PM

My current player Andreas Kvalheim has been quite successful when it comes to awards, as I've won a record four Dar trophies and hopefully be will be in contention for another one this season. Unfortunately, with regression starting to take its toll, I doubt Kvalheim has a shot at winning any more awards after this season. Therefore I would like to propose the creation of the 'High and Wide' Award for the player who has the most missed shots in the SHL. This award will celebrate those players who love to shoot the puck but can't quite hit the net, causing opponent and teammates alike to flinch in fear whenever a shot is released from their stick. From a quick glance in FHM, I couldn't find where the missed shots are stored so I have no clue who actually led the league in missed shots this past season, but Kvalheim would have to be among the league leaders.

Hallsy · 03-14-2021, 08:57 PM

The award that Hugh Jazz could win would be the most loyal and team-friendly player award. He doesn't care what position or where he plays in the line-up he just wants to be able to win every night. He doesn't care about racking up 40 points a season or a point per game. He just cares about getting the 2 points every night, he is willing to do whatever is necessary to do so. He has built him the player to increase possession so that they could also have control of the puck every game He just wants to take as many shot attempts as possible. He also wants to limit shots by making smart decisions with the puck, playing hard physical hockey, and laying down the body when necessary. He wants to win and He would win the biggest winner award,He has won a lot of games in the shl and might have the best record in the regular season.

Kylrad · 03-14-2021, 08:57 PM

If we're going for awards that could be created that our players could win, the only one Daniel Smeb would really have a chance to win would be some sort of most consistent top scorer or performer award or something that would be handed out every few seasons since my players been near the top of SHL scoring for multiple seasons in a row but never at the very top. It would have to be specified some way over just most consistent though otherwise anyone could win it as long as they were consistent and I am not sure if I could compete with some exceptional players out there. Some other funny awards that could be added although I wouldn't win them at least as of now based on some of my teammates performances yet alone the whole league could be worst player per tpe and best player per tpe as well as most sportsmanlike

Cyanide · 03-14-2021, 08:57 PM

PBE PT

Credit to Wasty
[Image: wolfpack3.png]

Credit to Sulovilen

Samsung virtual assistant · 03-14-2021, 09:05 PM

The only award that Disisde Dayudie would be able to win would probably be the Disisde Dayudie award. Thats right, the only award he'd win would be an award created specifically for him. Now what would that award be for you ask? Being named Disisde Dayudie of course. Also you need to look like him as well. You can't just change your name to Disisde Dayudie, or else we'd just have a bunch of Disisde Dayudies skating around on the ice winning awards every season. No no no that wont do. You need to have Disisde Dayudie on the birth certificate, a japanese passport, as well as parents born and raised in Matsumoto, Japan. You need to have a black belt in Karate and medals from kendo championships. You also need to wear a mask, if you don't wear a mask you are clearly a fake and don't deserve this beautiful award. Winner Winner chicken dinner.

Jedi · 03-14-2021, 09:10 PM

Hugo is an okay, but not standout netminder in the Juniors. He stops pucks on occasion, even wins game sometimes. But just winning every now and then and stopping a puck or two isn't quite enough to put his name on the lips of the hockey connoisseur elites that make awards lists and choose their subsequent winners. No, Hugo just gets by.

There is one category, however, that if made an official awards section, he would win year in and year out.

Hydration.

Hugo is the King of Hydration, the H2Overlord, the Liquid Master, the Wet God. A thirst perpetually quenched, skin soft and blemish free, electrolytes aplenty.

Yes, Hugo takes his hydration very seriously. Carrying with him several gallons of spring water from a mountain near his home. He spent several million of his dollars building his own home collection system for some of that cold glacial canadian water to carry with him.

Indeed, should such an award ever exist, let's call it the Dasani™️ Hydration Excellence Award, Hugo would sweep the nominations.

Alucard,Apr 14 2016, 03:33 PM Wrote:May the harvest be with you, young spud.

enigmatic,Aug 26 2016, 10:05 AM Wrote:Jedi could have 1 TPE and still improve any team

First ever Norwegian IIHF Goal!!

Code:
2. Team Norway , Jackson Rodgers-Tanaka 1 (Isabella Esparza-Osvaldson, Aleksander Andrezjeck) at 5:50

Special Thanks to Count Chocula for the Hugo G sig <3

juniped · 03-14-2021, 09:13 PM

PBE Affiliate

*fishy* · 03-14-2021, 09:23 PM

As is well known, judging how Keenan awarded me an extra TPE for talking about how trash my player is earlier in the season this award would obviously have to deal with how bad Aron Hernadivic is at the game of hockey. As I’m sure someone has already come up with the least valuable trophy, this trophy would not be called the least valuable trophy as I at least have some usefulness even at my waist for 2000 TPE. Instead this trophy would be Given to the player whose build is obviously not very good. This, this trophy would be given to the biggest waste of space, and would be named after myself, for wasting a season at 2000 tpe.

Previous recipients of the award would include myself, Aron Hernadivic, Gabriel Johnson of the Seattle Argonauts, Jack Kanoff of the Seattle Argonauts, and Matt Kholin of the Buffalo Stampede. Congratulations to all of these new recipients of this lovely award, may your careers never prosper! (166 words)

dogwoodmaple · 03-14-2021, 09:59 PM

My idea for an award would be the "Player Most Like Their Mascot Award". There are already tons of awards that reward stellar offensive play, defensive play, goaltending, and rookies, but there isn't an award for this. Of course, I'm slightly biased as my name, Dogwood Maple, is a perfect fit to be part of the Timber. Now, I'm sure you thinking that I'm only doing this so I can get as many trophies as possible, and you would be correct. But why not reward what the SHL gods have put together? I had no clue I would be a Maine Timber when I created, but I think I would be rewarded thanks to the cosmic karma that led a tree-named player to join a literal group of trees. Too many of these awards are based on chasing stats and standing out on the score sheet - that can drive some players to either press to hard or lose enjoyment in the league when things don't go their way. But with this new award, every player would have the chance to win simply based on their name and where they get drafted. Plus, with trades and free agency, players could increase their overall chances of winning this award year in and year out. In fact, one could argue that this award gives players the most direct control over their chances to win of any award in the entire league. It's practical, benefits me directly, and just flat out makes sense.

(249 words)

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