SlashACM Registered
Certified Swiss Cheese
06-20-2021, 01:42 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-20-2021, 01:44 PM by SlashACM .)
@
Mike Izzy was a beloved PT Director for many seasons, and his final mPT before retiring from the role was titled "CUZ BABY TONIGHT".
This sparked a long SHL parody song of a minecraft parody of an Usher song within the PT itself. As an homage to this great mPT, I figured what better way to start off my tenure here than to bring it back?
Your task: Create a parody title and/or parody lyrics to a song. MUST BE SHL/HOCKEY related parody.
25 words minimum! (Note: I will be assessing the thought that goes into this PT. "Yeah Hockey Yeah" x8 will not earn you any tpe)
You will receive 1 TPE for fulfilling all requirements; several users who go above and beyond will be selected as participation+ members and receive an additional 1 TPE.
This PT will close Sunday, June 27th at 11:59pm CT.
If you have any questions/concerns, please PM me. Tasks with malicious intent will not be graded.
This PT is for SHL players and send downs only; it is not for SMJHL Rookies .
Aleister Cain - S42-S57
HOF GOALIE- CLASS OF S60- SECOND BALLOT
S54 CHALLENGE CUP
S54 RAZOV
Ville Kurri - S57-S70
BEST SMJHL DEFENSIVE FORWARD S60
That's pretty much it
06-20-2021, 01:48 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-26-2021, 11:06 AM by PremierBromanov .)
To the tune of Jeffry Bezos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_EeCkHs-e0
Laying Pipe under the floor
Born in 1984
Michael
Michael Fitted
Laying Pipe under the floor
Born in 1984
Michael
Michael Fitted
Cmon Michael you can do it,
Pave the way put your back into it
Tell us why
Show us how
Look at where you came from look at you now
Hamilton and BAP and Buf and
Amateurs can fuckin suck it
Fuck their wives
Drink their blood
Cmon Mike, GET EM
[S69] Tiberius Kane | Left Wing | GFG | 473 TPE
S67: WJC Silver
S68: Drafted 3rd Overall to GFG
S68: Drafted 14th Overall to TEX
S69: WJC Bronze
[S67] Nichael Fitted + [S64] Backup Goaltender
[S50] Tom Fiddler | Two-Way Center | Peak 2006 TPE | RETIRED
Drafted 4th round, 34th overall in S49 SMJHL Entry Draft
Drafted 2nd round, 24th overall in S50 SHL Entry Draft
Traded to Tampa Bay for a ham sandwich in S52
* = First Place
Career Stats | GP | G | A | P | +/- | Hit | SB | Sh | GA | TK
SHL Regular | 657 | 144 | 284 | 428 | -213 | 777 | 1013 | 1520 | 292 | 393
SHL Playoffs | 39 | 5 | 14 | 19 | -16 | 63 | 52 | | |
IIHF Regular | 168 | 19 | 45 | 64 | 7 | 153 | 90 | | |
SHL Regular Season Stats
Szn |Team| GP | G | A | P | +/- | TOI | Hit | SB | Sh | PIM
S53 | TBB | 50 | 5 | 15 | 20| -24| 17:16 | 46 | 77 | 56 | 10
S54 | TBB | 45 | 1 | 10 | 11 | -80 | 18:35 | 60 | 171 | 55 | 17
S55 | TBB | 50 | 1 | 19 | 20 | -56 | 18:37 | 31 | 86 | 82 | 14
S56 | TBB | 50 | 5 | 15 | 20 | -35 | 19:22 | 34 | 112 | 101| 20
S57 | TBB | 66 | 14 | 32 | 46 | -26 | 24:48 | 64 |100 |152 | 20
S58 | TBB | 66 | 29 | 40 | 69 | -2 | 25:59 |100| 74 |180 | 20
S59 | TBB | 66 | 19 | 39 | 58 | -3 | 25:33 |105| 95 |188 | 14
S60 | TBB | 66 | 23 | 23 | 46 | 4 | 22:33 | 66 | 50 |159 | 26
S61 | TBB | 66 | 10 | 35 | 45 | 12 | 22:17 | 98 | 72 |182 | 20
S62 | TBB | 66 | 16 | 23 | 39 | -2 | 20:23 |104 | 57 |183 | 4
S63 | TOR | 66 | 21 | 33 | 54 | -1 | 20:29 | 69 |119 |182 | 39
SHL Playoff Stats
Szn |Team| GP | G | A | P | +/- | TOI | Hit | SB | Sh | PIM
S59 | TBB | 5 | 1 | 1 | 2 | -6 | 22:11 | 10 | 5 | 12 | 0
S60 | TBB | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | -6 | 22:49 | 8 | 1 | 7 | 0
S61 | TBB | 13 | 1 | 9 | 10 | 0 | 21:06 | 17 | 13 | 29 | 0
S62 | TBB | 12 | 1 | 3 | 4 | -4 | 20:01 | 20 | 18 | 24 | 2
S63 | TOR | 5 | 2 | 1 | 3 | 0 | 21:16 | 8 | 15 | 15 |0
SMJHL Career | GP: 200| G: 36 | A: 102 | P: 138 | +/-: 42
SMJHL Playoff Career | GP: 52| G: 9 | A: 23 | P: 32 | +/-: 5
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S49 | MTL | GP: 50 | G: 3 | A: 16 | P: 19 | +/-: 2 | FO%: 42.43% | FOT: 898
S50 | CAR | GP: 50 | G: 6 | A: 15 | P: 21 | +/-: -6 | FO%: 50.93% | FOT: 1237
S51*| CAR | GP: 50 | G: 11 | A: 38 | P: 49 | +/-: 24 | FO%: 53.08% | FOT: 1313
S52 | CAR | GP: 50 | G: 16 | A: 33 | P: 49 | +/-: 22 | FO%: 53.33% | FOT: 1202
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S49*| MTL | GP: 17 | G: 2 | A: 7 | P: 9 | +/-: 5 | FO%: 51.96% | FOT: 433
S50*| CAR | GP: 18 | G: 4 | A: 5 | P: 9 | +/-: 5 | FO%: 50.28% | FOT: 356
S51 | CAR | GP: 6 | G: 2 | A: 2 | P: 4 | +/-: -1| FO%: 47.68% | FOT: 151
S52 | CAR | GP: 11 | G: 1 | A: 9| P: 10 | +/-: -4| FO%: 51.34% | FOT: 261
Awards
S49 Four Star Cup
S50 Four Star Cup
S51 Laurifer Trophy
S51 Petr Klimek Award for the Best Two-Way Player with Joseph Weston
S52 Honorary 3-way Laurifer Paricipation Trophy
S52 Alternate Captain of Carolina
S52 Petr Klimek Award for the Best Two-Way Player with Joseph Weston
S52 Kurtis Hunter Award for Team's Choice MVP
S52 IIHF Gold Medal
S53 IIHF Bronze Medal
S54 The Winless Season
S54 IIHF Silver Medal
S55 IIHF Gold Medal
S56 IIHF Silver Medal
S57 IIHF Silver Medal
S58 IIHF Silver Medal
S60 IIHF Silver Medal
S61 IIHF GoldMedal
IIHF Federation Head - Great Britain
S56: Silver
S57: Silver
S58: Silver
S59: DNQ
S60: Silver
S61: Gold
S62: DNQ
S68: Lost 1st Round
S69: Bronze
Fuck the penaltys
ARGARGARHARG
yosh SMJHL GM
just how deep do you believe? will you bite the hand that feeds?
06-20-2021, 01:48 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-20-2021, 02:01 PM by yosh .)
So there was this guy named Ivan Hrvatska that wrote a song called "Making Love To The Vancouver Canucks", which was about how great the Canucks were during the late 2000s or something like that.
So I propose the song "Making Love to the Seattle Argonauts", which is about praising the Seattle Argonauts.
Original song for reference
Okay here are the lyrics to "Making Love to the Seattle Argonauts"
Seattle!
I am DJ Beeg Yoshi
I bring #1 song from Yoshi's Island to #1 hockey team Seattle Argonauts!
I take the train to Climate Pledge Arena
That is where I scream and paint my face
We will go all the way with Thor today
And have fun at centre ice
Sutherland, the Tremblay twins
Cassius Darrow is the captain!
We will have a good time, making love to blue line
With Gabe Johnson we will always win!
Everybody!
Score score score!
Seattle Argonauts!
Win win win!
Seattle Argonauts!
Here we go! Here we go!
Seattle Argonauts!
Then we make love to the Challenge Cup!
All the beeg yoshis in the crowd
They make me cheer very loud
We make love today on the power play
and have fun in the penalty box
There is nothing finer than Challenge cup
Except the Seattle Argonauts!
We will win and we will play!
Coach Boggis lead the way!
Then I vibe with the yoshis in the stand
Everybody!
Score Score Score!
Seattle Argonauts!
Win win win!
Seattle Argonauts!
Here we go! Here we go!
Seattle Argonauts!
Then we make love to the Challenge cup
Now in French!
Marque marque marque!
Seattle Argonauts!
Gagne gagne gagne!
Seattle Argonauts!
On y va! On y va!
Seattle Argonauts!
Then we make love to the Challenge Cup!
Then we make love to Seattle Argonauts!
WC: 300
Teddy Bloos | Centre | TBW |
S78 SMJHL Draft: Round 2, 32nd overall (TBW)
S79 SHL Draft: Round 1, 19th overall (TBB)
***
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S78 | TBW | 66GP | 13G | 21A | 34P | 89 Hits | 68 DGR
S79 | TBW | 66GP | 12G | 40A | 52P | 71 Hits | 70 DGR
S80 | TBW | 66GP | 13G | 24A| 37P | 102 Hits | 73 DGR
S81 | TBW |
***
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S78 | TBW | 7GP | 1G | 6A | 7P | 10 Hits | 65 DGR
S79 | TBW | 5GP | 1G | 1A | 2P | 7 Hits | 69 DGR
S80 | TBW | 4GP | 0G | 1A | 1P | 4 Hits | 76 DGR
Vaseline Podcalzone | Winger | SEA "C" |
S55 SMJHL Draft: Round 3, 31st overall (NL)
S56 SHL Draft: Round 2, 23rd overall (SEA)
***
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S55 | NL | 50GP | 2G | 6A | 8P | 6PIM | 33 Hits
S56 | NL | 50GP | 11G | 17A | 28P | 8PIM | 109 Hits
S57 | NL "A"| 66GP | 16G | 29A | 45P | 32PIM | 153 Hits
S58 | NL "C"| 66GP | 21G | 20A | 41P | 8PIM | 119 Hits
TOTAL | 232GP | 50G | 72A | 122 P | 54PIM | 414 Hits
***
SMJHL Playoffs Stats
S55 | NL | 17GP | 0G | 4A | 4P | 12PIM | 20 Hits
S56 | NL | 17GP | 3G | 1A | 4P | 2PIM | 32 Hits
S57 | NL "A"| 11GP | 1G | 8A | 9P | 0PIM | 40 Hits
S58 | NL "C" | 15GP | 5G | 10A | 15P | 10PIM | 33 Hits
TOTAL | 60GP | 9G | 23A | 32P | 24PIM | 125 Hits
***
SHL Regular Season Stats
S59 | SEA | 66GP | 17G | 19A | 36P | 18PIM | 107 Hits
S60 | SEA "A"| 66GP | 14G | 16A | 30P | 30PIM | 117 Hits
S61 | SEA "A"| 66GP | 22G | 20A | 42P | 23PIM | 117 Hits
S62 | SEA "A"| 66GP | 17G | 25A | 42P | 6PIM | 141 Hits
S63 | SEA "A"| 66GP | 27G | 20A | 47P | 22PIM | 143 Hits
S64 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 19G | 52A | 71P | 10PIM | 157 Hits
S65 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 40G | 44A | 84P | 27PIM | 147 Hits
S66 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 21G | 36A | 57P | 38PIM | 146 Hits
S67 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 29G | 50A | 79P | 38PIM | 133 Hits
S68 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 30G | 56A | 86P | 36PIM | 152 Hits
S69 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 29G | 50A | 79P | 42PIM | 151 Hits
S70 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 15G | 59A | 74P | 36PIM | 162 Hits
S71 | SEA “C”| 66GP | 25G | 36A | 61P | 62PIM | 150 Hits
S72 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 15G | 34A | 49P | 39PIM | 87 Hits
S73 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 24G | 28A | 52P | 28PIM | 97 Hits
S74 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 19G | 20A | 39P | 54PIM | 121 Hits
S75 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 21G | 22A | 43P | 52PIM | 107 Hits
S76 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 15G | 18A | 33P | 62PIM | 92 Hits
S77 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 13G | 26A | 39P | 20PIM | 97 Hits
S78 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 12G | 17A | 29P | 15PIM | 90 Hits
TOTAL | 1254GP | 424G | 648A | 1072P | 658PIM | 2514 Hits
***
SHL Playoff Stats
S59 | SEA | 10GP | 1G | 2A | 3P | 0PIM | 11 Hits
S60 | SEA "A"| 7GP | 0G | 5A | 5P | 0PIM | 14 Hits
S61 | SEA "A"| 5GP | 1G | 1A | 2P | 0PIM | 9 Hits
S62 | SEA "A"| 12GP | 3G | 3A | 6P | 0PIM | 32 Hits
S63 | SEA "A"| 12GP | 6G | 6A | 12P | 0PIM | 24 Hits
S64 | SEA "C"| 7GP | 2G | 1A | 3P | 2PIM | 15 Hits
S65 | SEA "C"| 6GP | 1G | 2A | 3P | 2PIM | 13 Hits
S66 | SEA "C"| 22GP | 5G | 19A | 24P | 10PIM | 56 Hits
S67 | SEA "C"| 23GP | 10G | 18A | 28P | 4PIM | 45 Hits
S68 | SEA "C"| 21GP | 12G | 15A | 27P | 10PIM | 52 Hits
S69 | SEA "C"| 16GP | 6G | 16A | 22P | 10PIM | 47 Hits
S70 | SEA "C"| 13GP | 5G | 11A | 16P | 6PIM | 28 Hits
S71 | SEA "C"| 7GP | 1G | 3A | 4P | 2 PIM | 15 Hits
S72 | SEA "C"| 5GP | 2G | 4A | 6P | 6 PIM | 3 Hits
S78 | SEA "C"| 4GP | 0G | 0A | 0P | 0 PIM | 6 Hits
TOTAL | 170GP | 57G | 104A | 161P | 52PIM | 370 Hits
***
S55 Four Star Cup
S58 Volsungr Award
S58 Vaseline Podcalzone Award
S58 Berserker of the Year
SHL S59 All-Rookie
S59 Jesster Finalist
S64 Richan Finalist
SEA Franchise Points Leader
S67 Challenge Cup
5x SHL All-Star (S60, S64, S65, S67, S75)
S68 Challenge Cup
S68 Dar Finalist
1000 Career SHL Regular Season Points
Beeg Yoshi | Management | TBW GM |
NL Scout S58
NL Coach S59-S61
S60 Four Star Cup (Coach)
NL Co-GM S62-S64
S62 Four Star Cup (Co-GM)
S63 Four Star Cup (Co-GM)
S63 Nour Harrak Award (GM Duo)
S64 Nour Harrak Award (GM Duo)
S64 Four Star Cup (Co-GM)
REG Co-GM S72-S75
REG Interim Head GM S75
REG/TBW Head GM S75-
Faded Registered
Member
Posts: 82
Threads: 2
Joined: Apr 2021
Reputation:
1
Discord: faded#6048
Pronouns: Male
"Viva la Hockey"
Classic Coldplay song, but instead of retelling about the French Revolution, it retells a historical hockey game. Could be IRL, could be in the sim, I don't know. Kinda basic name, but it could be used to do a lot of stuff.
Nikolai Ayerzov || RW || S60
Jersey Number: 42
Height: 6ft 2in
Weight: 208 lbs
Birthplace: Minsk, Belarus
Season Stats
S59 - STL - 7 G, 10 A, 17 PTS, +/- -24, PP 1, S 67, S% 10.4%, 60 BLK, 53 GR, 53 OGR, 51 DGR
Career Stats
7 G, 10 A, 17 PTS, +/- -24, PP 1, SH 67, S% 10.4%, 60 BLK, 53 GR, 53 OGR, 51 DGR[/pbl]
[pbl]Playoff Stats
S59 - STL - 1 G, 1 A, 2 PTS, +/- 0, PP 0, S 4, S% 25%, 10 BLK, 52 GR, 53 OGR, 52 DGR
WJC Stats
WJC S59 - UCORCAL -
WJC S59 - NA -
Notable Achievements
Drafted 14oa by the St. Louis Scarecrows
Never Gonna Give Hockey Up
Never Gonna Let My-Team Down
Never Gonna Skate Around and Check You
Never Gonna Make Fans Cry
Never Gonna Say Goodbye
Never Gonna Leave My Team and Hurt Fans
Did Ya Get It?
; font-family: Arial;">
Jeffrey Bjelland | Center | Detroit Falcons
Birthplace: Minneapolis, MN, USA
Number: 21
----------------------------------------------
FiveForFighting Registered
Member
Posts: 111
Threads: 15
Joined: Mar 2021
Reputation:
4
Body Check Anthem
Body checkers on the ice, tonight.
Everybody just dodgin penalties (yeah!)
And we gon' make you lose the cup (woo)
Everybody just love a good hit (clap)
Body checkers in the sta-di-um.
We just wanna see you
CRUSH THAT!
(41 words)
Destiny is All. Proud member of the Vancouver Whalers
Future SHL squad - Texas Renegades
JR95 ACP Access
Jabbin' his Jelly Bean
A little bit of Nikiforov in my life
A little bit of Raiden by my side
A little bit of sheep is all I need
A little bit of krash is what I see
A little bit of Trashae in the sun
A little bit of Cleary all night long
A little bit of suavemente, here I am
A little bit of Zoone makes me your man
juniped Registered
Senior Member
Posts: 723
Threads: 20
Joined: Jun 2020
Reputation:
10
Discord: juniped#0711
Pronouns: He/Him
Player:
Sven Panda
Juni walks warily down the rink
With his mask pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of his skates
Gloves loose ready to go
Are you ready hey are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Out of the sticks the pucks rip
To the sound of the beat yeah
Another one bites the ice
Another one bites the ice
And another one gone and another one gone
Another one bites the ice
Hey I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the ice
Juni Panda | RW | #22 | Manhattan Rage | Retired
Birthplace: Skanör med Falsterbo, Sweden
Height: 6ft 1in Weight: 210lbs
Fight Record: 14 W/12 L
---------------------------------------------------
SMJHL
Season Team GP G A P +/- PIM Hits
54 | COL | 19 | 01 | 01 | 02 | -7 | 2 | 2
55 | COL | 50 | 10 | 12 | 22 | 12 | 106 | 326
56 | COL | 50 | 13 | 09 | 22 | 9 | 61 | 148
57 | COL | 66 | 22 | 21 | 43 | 24 | 219 | 349
-------------------------------------------------------------------
SHL
Season Team GP G A P +/- PIM Hits
58 | TOR | 04 | 00 | 01 | 01 | 5 | 007 | 007
59 | MAN | 22 | 02 | 04 | 06 | -13 | 039 | 048
60 | MAN | 66 | 11 | 19 | 30 | -35 | 178 | 525
61 | MAN | 66 | 07 | 12 | 19 | -55 | 226 | 515
62 | MAN | 66 | 08 | 13 | 21 | -68 | 201 | 384
63 | MAN | 66 | 10 | 11 | 21 | -50 | 156 | 335
64 | MAN | 66 | 04 | 10 | 14 | -51 | 32 | 156
65 | NEW | 66 | 06 | 13 | 19 | -66 | 30 | 142
---------------------------------------------------
Accomplishments
S55 SMJHL All-Star
S57 SMJHL All-Star
S60 SHL All-Star (Voted In)
S60 Turd Ferguson
S61 Turd Ferguson
S62 Turd Ferguson
S65 IIHF Silver (Sweden)
FHM6 Era Single Season Hits Leader
FHM6 Era Single Season PIM Leader
Sven Panda | RD | #22 | Hamilton Steelhawks
Birthplace: Gothenburg, Sweden
Height: 7'6" Weight: 300lbs
---------------------------------------------------
SMJHL
Season Team GP G A P +/- PIM Hits
Mr. BAPtastic
What you want is some BAPtastic, romantic, fantastic scorer
Niki
Mr. Scorer scorer, mm
Mr. Scorer scorer, hehe girl
Mr. Scorer scorer, mm
Mr. Scorer scorer
She call me Mr. BAPtastic, tell me fantastic
Touch me inna me back, she say I'm Mr. BAP-mantic
Call me fantastic
Touch me inna me back she say I'm Mr. BAP...
Smooth, just like a silk
Koen Boekbinder || Center || S82 || Great Falls Grizzlies || 233 TPE ||
Daniil Nikiforov || Winger || S55 || Baltimore Platoon || 2K Club ||
Timo Haas || Goalie || S31 || Los Angeles Panthers || HOF ||
Do you really wanna see,
If I'm the man I claim to be?
This is a bad idea.
Before you drop the gloves,
Say "Bye" to those you love,
And those teeth you remember.
06-20-2021, 01:59 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-20-2021, 01:59 PM by micool132 .)
(to the tune of the song : "Angus McFife"
He is the prince of the far blue line,
Strong and agile with a shot of steel,
Now season's up the cup shall be his,
Angus McFife (the Eighteenth) is his name.
Across the rockies, I ride a blue raptor,
Behind me lies the ruins of Anaheim (outlaws)
No turning back now, the playoffs are right ahead
I won't give up until the cup is in my hands
A smiling hero with a destiny of Four Stars
With glory overcomes an endless quest RNG-zy
Angus McFife XVIII RD 7th overall pick by Colorado Raptors
S59 17th OA Pick by Atlanta Inferno
Height: 6''4
Weight:222 lb
Number:23
Nationality : Great Britain
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Career
S|GP||G||A||P||HIT||PM
S58|0||0||0||0||0||0
TBD
S|GP||G||A||P||HIT||PM
S40|0||0||0||0||0||0
S0|0||0||0||0||0||0
--S59 WJC Bronze--
Character Page RD- Quarterback
Retired players:
-Toki Wartooth
-Nathan Explosion btw
-Angus McFife XVIII
JamesT Moderators
Cozy Connoisseur
06-20-2021, 02:00 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-20-2021, 02:01 PM by JamesT .)
Code:
Your task: Create a parody title and/or parody lyrics to a song. MUST BE SHL/HOCKEY related parody.
The world famous BTS group has a popular song named "
Mic Drop " a parody version for the SHL could be called "Puck Drop". This song could be used when the S60 season begins this week!
(35 words)
Thank you @
Stadacona for the Chaewon player sig!
bluesfan55 IIHF Federation Head
Too young for this shit
06-20-2021, 02:00 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-21-2021, 09:19 AM by bluesfan55 .)
get low by lil jon, but hockey instead
3, 6, 9
them goals fine
move it to the goal and score that one mo time
get goals
get goals get goals get goals
TO THE WINDOOOOOOOOOOOOOWS
TO THE WALL (of the rink)
Dieter Frühstück || D || Anchorage Armada || 779 TPE
Birthplace: Rostock, Germany
Height/Weight: 6'9", 275 lbs
SMJHL Stats
S78 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 2 A: 24 PTS: 26 +/-: 11 H: 80 PIMS: 16 SB: 253
S79 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 0 A: 16 PTS: 16 +/-: -1 H: 49 PIMS: 28 SB: 224
S80 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 8 A: 23 PTS: 31 +/-: 38 H: 81 PIMS: 20 SB: 287
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S78 || ANC || GP: 4 G: 0 A: 1 PTS: 1 +/-: -2 H: 8 PIMS: 0 SB: 18
S79 || ANC || GP: 16 G: 0 A: 7 PTS: 7 +/-: 13 H: 12 PIMS: 6 SB: 50
S80 || ANC || GP: 16 G: 1 A: 4 PTS: 5 +/-: 6 H: 15 PIMS: 0 SB: 78
Player Milestones/Transactions
Drafted 14th overall by Anchorage, S78 SMJHL Draft
Drafted 31st overall by Minnesota, S79 SHL Draft
Winner of the Alexis Metzler Award, S78
led SMJHL in blocked shots, S80
Sebastien Regazzoni || C || Hamilton Steelhawks || 1276 TPE
Birthplace: Bern, Switzerland
Height/Weight: 6'3", 200 lbs
SHL Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 17 A: 25 PTS: 42 PIMS: 32 +/-: -23 H: 75
S72 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 28 A: 31 PTS: 59 PIMS: 55 +/-: 7 H: 89
S73 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 24 A: 33 PTS: 57 PIMS: 34 +/-: -2 H: 81
S74 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 37 PTS: 49 PIMS: 43 +/-: -8 H: 83
S75 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 11 A: 51 PTS: 62 PIMS: 39 +/-: 22 H: 66
S76 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 33 A: 60 PTS: 93 PIMS: 37 +/-: -18 H: 87
S77 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 32 A: 32 PTS: 64 PIMS: 38 +/-: -34 H: 76
S78 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 14 A: 32 PTS: 46 PIMS: 20 +/-: -1 H: 57
Total SHL Stats
GP: 528 G: 171 A: 201 PTS: 472 PIMS: 298 +/-: -57 H: 614
SHL Playoff Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 2 A: 1 PTS: 3 +/-: -5 PIM: 2 H: 5
S72 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 0 +/-: -5 PIM: 0 H: 7
S73 || HAM || GP: 12 G: 4 A: 7 PTS: 11 +/-: 2 PIM: 10 H: 10
S74 || HAM || GP: 7 G: 2 A: 3 PTS: 5 +/-: -3 PIM: 0 H: 14
S75 || HAM || GP: 14 G: 3 A: 10 PTS: 13 +/-: -0 PIM: 2 H: 17
S76 || HAM || GP: 19 G: 6 A: 15 PTS: 21 +/-: -1 PIM: 4 H: 29
S77 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 1 A: 5 PTS: 6 +/-: -2 PIM: 0 H: 3
Total SHL Playoff Stats
GP: 67 G: 19 A: 41 PTS: 60 +/-: -14 PIM: 18 H: 85
SMJHL Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 25 A: 21 PTS: 46 +/-: -5 PIM: 6 H: 107
S68 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 41 PTS: 61 +/-: 5 PIM: 30 H: 138
S69 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 33 PTS: 53 +/-: -3 PIM: 18 H: 142
S70 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 23 PTS: 35 +/-: -54 PIM: 28 H: 78
Career SMJHL Regular Season Stats
GP: 264 G: 77 A: 118 PTS: 195 +/-: -57 PIM: 82 H: 465
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 5 G: 4 A: 1 PTS: 5 +/-: -2 PIM: 0 H: 11
S68 || ANC || GP: 10 G: 4 A: 3 PTS: 7 +/-: 7 PIM: 4 H: 24
Career Milestones
Drafted 20th overall by Anchorage, S67 SMJHL Draft
Drafted 4th overall by Hamilton, S68 SHL Draft
Voted Anchorage Armada captain, S69
Mitchell van der Heijden || C || Philadelphia Forge || 925 TPE
Birthplace: Alkmaar, Netherlands
Height/Weight: 6'2", 205 lbs
SHL Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 50 G: 8 A: 10 PTS: 18 PIMS: 16 +/-: 0 H: 24
S55 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 19 PTS: 34 PIMS: 14 +/-: 2 H: 70
S56 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 16 A: 11 PTS: 27 PIMS: 26 +/-: -17 H: 65
S57 | NEW | GP: 66 G: 20 A: 28 PTS: 48 PIMS: 10 +/-: -37 H: 62
S58 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 22 A: 38 PTS: 60 PIMS: 22 +/-: 25 H: 92
S59 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 21 A: 37 PTS: 58 PIMS: 29 +/-: 37 H: 101
S60 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 49 A: 50 PTS: 99 PIMS: 6 +/-: 14 H: 97
S61 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 57 PTS: 87 PIMS: 10 +/-: 49 H: 122
S62 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 48 A: 38 PTS: 86 PIMS: 8 +/-: 32 H: 105
S63 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 51 PTS: 81 PIMS: 18 +/-: 47 H: 103
S64 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 43 PTS: 73 PIMS: 8 +/-: 9 H: 103
S65 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 13 A: 37 PTS: 50 PIMS: 20 +/-: 25 H: 134
S66 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 15 A: 24 PTS: 39 PIMS: 30 +/-: -19 H: 116
S67 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 8 A: 27 PTS: 35 PIMS: 20 +/-: 4 H: 140
Career Regular Season Stats
GP: 876 G: 325 A: 470 PTS: 795 PIMS: 237 +/-: 172 H: 1338
SHL Playoff Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 5 PTS: 12 PIMS: 4 +/-: 1
S56 | NEW | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 4 +/-: -4
S57 | NEW | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: 0
S58 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 3 A: 7 PTS: 10 PIMS: 2 +/-: 2
S59 | HAM | GP: 11 G: 2 A: 5 PTS: 7 PIMS: 0 +/-: 4
S60 | HAM | GP: 10 G: 2 A: 3 PTS: 5
S61 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 9 A: 16 PTS: 25
S62 | HAM | GP: 14 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19
S63 | HAM | GP: 25 G: 10 A: 12 PTS: 22
S64 | HAM | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 17 PTS: 24
S65 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 4 A: 5 PTS: 9
S66 | PHI | G: 7 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3
S67 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 4 PTS: 4
Total SHL Playoff Stats
GP: 172 G: 55 A: 93 PTS: 148
SMJHL Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 14 PTS: 28 PIMS: 6 +/-: -1 H: 21
S51 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 27 PTS: 47 PIMS: 17 -/+: 11 H: 15
S52 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 28 PTS: 53 PIMS: 29 +/-: 7 H: 62
S53 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 26 A: 26 PTS: 52 PIMS: 24 +/-: 12 H: 109
Total SMJHL Reg. Season Stats
GP: 200 G: 85 A: 95 PTS: 180 PIMS: 79 +/-: 29 H: 207
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 11 G: 1 A: 4 PTS: 5 PIMS: 0 +/-: -6
S51 | ANC | GP: 12 G: 5 A: 7 PTS: 12 PIMS: 2 +/-: 7
S52 | ANC | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S53 | ANC | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
Total SMJHL Playoff Stats
GP: 41 G: 8 A: 16 PTS: 24 PIMS: 2 +/-: 1
Accolades
Won S51 4 Star Cup with Anchorage
Won Silver Medal with Switzerland, S51 IIHF
named best forward, S51 WJC
named to second team all SMJHL, S52
named Anchorage alternate captain, S51/S52
named Anchorage captain, S53
named first team all SMJHL, S53
won Ideen Fallah Award (SMJHL Awards Committee MVP), S53
named SMJHL All-Star, S51-S53
won S54 Challenge Cup with New Orleans
scored Challenge Cup-winning goal, S54
named New England alternate captain, S55
#15 retired by the Anchorage Armada
Challenge Cup winner with Hamilton, S58/S61/S63
SHL All-Star, S60-S63
Karpovtsov and McDonald winner, S60
Sarmad Khan winner, S60
Ron Mexico winner, S60
led SHL in goals and points, S60
First Team All-SHL, S60
Gold medal winner with Switzerland, S65
Member of the Triple Gold Club
SHL Hall of Famer
Draft Things
drafted 11th by Anchorage in S50 SMJHL Draft
drafted 13th overall by New Orleans in S51 SHL Draft
Joseph Lombardi || RW || Anchorage Armada co-GM || 969 TPE
Name: Joseph Lombardi
Position: Right Wing
Birthplace: Voorhees, NJ, USA (transferred to Ireland)
Height: very short (5'3")
Weight: 145 lbs
SHL Regular Season Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 13 A: 9 PTS: 22 PIMS: 6 +/-: -10
S39 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 12 A: 8 PTS: 20 PIMS: 8 +/-: -10
S40 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 15 PTS: 29 PIMS: 7 +/-: 9
S41 | MIN | GP: 50 G: 7 A: 6 PTS: 13 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S42 | MIN/SEA | GP: 47 G: 14 A: 20 PTS: 34 PIMS: 6 +/-: 4
S43 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 26 PTS: 46 PIMS: 8 +/-: 5
S44 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 18 A: 17 PTS: 35 PIMS: 18 +/-: -16
S45 | SEA/TOR | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 20 PTS: 40 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 23 PTS: 48 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S47 | EDM | GP: 50 G: 17 A: 23 PTS: 40 PIMS: 10 +/-: 26
S48 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 21 A: 17 PTS: 38 PIMS: 10 +/-: 5
S49 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 6 A: 20 PTS: 26 +/-: -8 PIMS: 13
S50 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 11 PTS: 26 PIMS: 10 +/-: 15
Career Stats
GP: 647 G: 202 A: 215 PTS: 417 PIMS: 96 +/-: 14
SHL Playoff Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 6 +/-: -3
S39-S40 | SFP | Missed playoffs
S41 | MIN | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S42 | SEA | missed playoffs
S43 | SEA | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 6 PTS: 6 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S44 | SEA | missed playoffs
S45 | TOR | GP: 5 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 7 G: 2 A: 7 PTS: 9 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
S47 | EDM | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S48 | SFP | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: -4
S49 | SFP | missed playoffs
S50 | SFP | GP: 4 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
Career Playoff Stats
all you need to know is that I was shit
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S35 | STL | GP: 50 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: -1
S36 | STL | GP: 50 G: 10 A: 7 PTS: 17 PIMS: 4 +/-: 0
S37 | STL | GP: 44 G: 16 A: 15 PTS: 31 PIMS: 8 +/-: -4
Total Stats: GP: 144 G: 27 A: 22 PTS: 49 PIMS: 14 +/-: -5
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S35 | STL | GP: 7 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 +/-: 1
S36 | STL | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 +/-: -1
S37 | STL | GP: 13 G: 4 A: 10 PTS: 14 +/-: -3
Total Stats: GP: 26 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19 +/-: -3
Things I've Done
Selected 40th overall in S35 SMJHL Draft by STL
Selected 30th overall in S36 SHL Entry Draft by POR
Won some team awards with the Crows, but no cup
won Presidents Trophy with San Francisco in S38
won a silver medal with Ireland (S38)
won two bronze medals with Ireland (S39, S41)
won a shit ton of golds with Ireland (S42-47)
was traded by San Francisco to Minnesota before S41
Traded to Seattle by Minnesota before S42 Trade Deadline
traded to Toronto by Seattle before S45 trade deadline
signed a one year, $6 million contract with Edmonton
signed a one year, $4.5 million contract with San Fransisco
named Pride alternate captain for S48
won president's trophy with SFP (s50)
wrote haters guides where I shat on every team
Yeah hockey yeah
Yeah hockey yeah
Yeah hockey yeah
Yeah hockey yeah
Yeah hockey yeah
Yeah hockey yeah
Yeah hockey yeah
Yeah hockey yeah
BasedMinkus Registered
S1, S3, S4, S6, S13, S19 and S28 Challenge Cup Champion
Jason Aittokallio disappeared that summer
He was on a fishing trip
The last save he ever made
Won the Rage the cup
They didn't win another till season fifty two
The year he was discovered
I stole this from a hockey card
I keeped tucked up under my bed
FYI this is a terrible start as PT director.