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*Otrebor13* · 07-13-2021, 10:44 AM

GCool · 07-13-2021, 11:07 AM

John Donair recently had his wallet and phone stolen. For a few days it was absolute hell for the Panthers winger, as he was unsure of who would do such a thing while making weird purchases and saying weird things on social media. Investigators pointed out the obvious to Donair, that this happened while he was in the airport. Someone had evidently calculated the idea to switch phones with Donair very quickly and secretly -- it's not as though he has a security detail around him. The culprit quickly hopped on a plane to Las Vegas, which he already had a ticket for. The thief bought $20,000 of chips at Caesar's Palace and had charges from several restaurants in the area as well as the famous Gold & Silver Pawn, as seen on the History Channel show Pawn Stars.

During all this, the thief posted strange promotional tweets for a game called SmallBall. Things like "Buy #smallball stock today at smallball.com" and "Check the forums at smallball.org for more details" kept getting posted on what seemed like 10-minute intervals. If one goes to those sites, it seems it's a completely defunct game that could use some backers to re-develop in an engine that isn't original Java.

Said Donair of the whole thing, "it certainly made my weekend a little more interesting".

jRuutu · 07-13-2021, 11:37 AM

Raivo Helminen likes to use computers in public libraries. It's a nice way to take a break from all the reading. Unfortunately, not so long ago, Raivo forgot to log out of his Instagram as he went back to the books. The person who started using the computer after him had easy access to Raivo's Instagram page! The person used this opportunity to post some questionable material on Raivo's Instagram page.

One of the pictures was a plate full of pancakes. Attached to the image was the text: ''Ooh I love these''. This caused many to speculate whether Raivo had given up as an athlete. Another post was a picture of a bicycle with a text: ''anybody who uses these is a douchebag''. That naturally caused some to speculate what would be the reason for such a statement.

Perhaps the most controversial post was a picture of a donkey dancing with a text: ''I did not know horses can dance''. Multiple commentators thought Raivo should go back to school if he doesn't know the difference between a donkey and a horse. Some also thought Raivo might be going a bit mental with so many posts in short period of time. The majority still thought the quality of the post is not anything unusual.

In the end, nobody even noticed another person was posting on Raivo's Instagram. Raivo noticed later that day that someone had used his profile, but he decided not to say anything about it.

Lorec · 07-13-2021, 11:49 AM

Lev was out getting his morning coffee from his favorite mom and pop coffee shop where he awkwardly swiped his credit card for the fourth time. "Declined" It read again. Lev whipped out his phone to see if there was something going on with his bank and was appalled at the amount of messages and headlines blowing his phone up. "Whalers forward trashes own team and endorses rival Anchorage" adorned the screen of his phone. He quickly opened his bank app to find his entire checking account cleared out. The bank history showed numerous purchases to the Anchorage Armada's merchandise store, this was a nightmare. New messages began to pop up on his phone. Whalers captain Sven Svechnikov sends "What the fuck, Lev. Dont come to practice today." Another message from Makrus "Wow bro, dont expect me to give you the puck anymore." And a final message from the Whalers GM Dex "Guess you want the fourth line, traitor." It was clear now, his identity was stolen and Lev had a lot of explaining to do.

Jonny Tsunami · 07-13-2021, 12:10 PM

PBE Affiliation

Muford · 07-13-2021, 01:09 PM

God Damn! Not Again! Vladmir Petrov has had his identity stolen, YET AGAIN! This time, it’s personal. There have been unexpected leaks online about Vladmir Petrov’s “Private Parts” and it is no longer something that Vladmir can stand for. The question remains though, does he leak his actual picture to prove that the pictures leaked were not of him, or does he allow the world to believe what was leaked? It has continued to haunt and hurt Vladmir’s personal stock of women that he has, his harem if you will, and it just is a stressful situation to deal with. Vladmir Petrov, being the oldest Petrov, has to repopulate the world with Petrovs, but the issue with that is, with such a leak, why would women want to come to Vladmir Petrov to help bring the Petrovs to the world? This will surely hurt Vladmir Petrov’s stock moving forward in the world, and he is going to have a long sit down with his agent to figure out how to recuperate from this situation.

(174 words)

*roastpuff* · 07-13-2021, 02:05 PM

BoloBill · 07-13-2021, 02:05 PM

PBE PT

Username: Billybolo53

Eynhallow · 07-13-2021, 02:16 PM

Yup, well Rinky McDangle did have his identity stolen. Some time ago, Rinky wanted to catch up on a few episodes of "Good Girls" and downloaded those episodes from a website in Russia. Needless to say, his information was immediately compromised. The perpetrators went on a spending spree that included 1.) a new server ($3200.00) from a company in Toronto 2.) a new high end laptop ($2 200) from a company in Birmingham, England and, finally 3.) a $5.00 ice cream cone from an place in Hong Kong. At this point the folks at Visa figured out that something was not right and cancelled the credit card. Fortunately, Visa did not hold Rinky responsible for those purchases and issued him a new credit card. In order to prevent this from happening again, Rinky got a " pay as you go" card on which he could transfer the amount he was going to spend, then, conclude the transaction, leaving a dollar or to on the card. In addition to his finances being compromised, the nasty perpetrators posted an article that referred to Rinky as having commissioned Waterford Crystal of Waterford Ireland to make a crystal replica of his jock strap. Rumors of this nature are extremely hard to live down in the competitive world of professional sports.

Word Count: 217

dmills3 · 07-13-2021, 02:21 PM

I knew I shouldn't have trusted that OnlyFans account. NeverBrokeAgain YoungBoy's private information was uploaded to a major, public database that is watched by all people that attempt in fraudulent activity. After Vancouver's game against the Carolina Kraken, YoungBoy had 14 missed calls from his bank stating he had been charged 1.34 million dollars over 8 hours all over the country. On top of that, private pictures that he had sent through OnlyFans were leaked all over Reddit! I guess a bright side of these leaks is YoungBoy had hundreds of females in his DMs trying to go on a date Wink

YoungBoy called his manager about the circumstances and tried to get them under control before any more confidential things were released. After weeks of investigation, 1 arrest was made in the leaking of private pictures, and YoungBoy was able to get $827,000 back of the 1.34 million that was taken from his account. Morale of story: careful of what you do on OnlyFans.

**bbjygm** · 07-13-2021, 02:36 PM

***yosh*** · 07-13-2021, 03:00 PM

Vaseline Podcalzone is chilling at his home when all of a sudden he gets a phone call from his agent, who asks him what on earth is going on with his Twitter account. Clueless, he goes onto his phone to open up twitter, only to find that somebody had hacked his twitter account!

Fortunately, the only thing that the hacker had tweeted was nonsense spam that made no sense. It was in cyrillic alphabet but was genuinely all mumbled up garbage, leaving Pod confused as to what the whole point of this was. Unfortunately, there were a large handful of tweets already sent out, meaning that cleaning out the twitter account would take a while. A quick password reset looked to have fixed the situation, and after applying two step verification, Vaseline Podcalzone's twitter is good to go for usage again!

Here is an example of one of the tweets that these hackers sent: https://twitter.com/Podcalz0ne/status/14...21284?s=20

Bfine · 07-13-2021, 04:58 PM

Slavakov did not know what to expect during Newfoundland prank day, but he noticed something was up when he walked into the locker room and everyone fell silent. As the loudest team in the league, Slavakov wondered what happened. He asked GM Ham if everything was ok, and he said yes, and went back to work. At practice it was much of the same, with people talking amongst themselves but overall a very quiet day on the ice. As is tradition for the captain, Slavakov was the last man off the ice. As he went into the locker room, all of the lights were off. Slavakov eventually stumbled his way to his locker, and when he opened it a confetti bomb went off, spraying glitter throughout the room. Shion hit the lights and everyone started laughing, and Leon explained that I was the recipient of Berserker prank day. Slavakov couldn’t help but laugh, and afterwards we all hit the bar to have a beer. While a little upset he couldn’t figure it out, Slavakov couldn’t help but laugh at himself.

180 words (Thank you @SlashACM and @Keygan for the new prompt)

Vikian · 07-13-2021, 05:16 PM

"Hello, is this Zhen Roza?" my brain is sluggish; who is calling me at 5 in the morning? "There have been some...interesting charges on your visa card. Can we go over some of them?". "You have bought 1,000 packs of Crayola Crayons, 1,000 rulers, and 5,000 whiteboards; I'm guessing those were not you?". I sit quietly and think, did I get robbed by a teacher? What are these purchases? And I say back, "no, those were not me, but I'm glad they bought something useful for themselves". There is a long pause before the Visa representative comes back, "About that...there more purchases". Hmm, maybe they about a whole school. "The next charges are a bit more...non-school related. We have 500 eatable thongs, various...bath...water? Purchases. And a gimp suit that looks like DoodleBob from Spongebob...". The only thing I could muster is "oh". I immediately say no those were not me as well and wonder who in the world is buying this stuff, the insanity of all this. I walk to the bathroom and step on something leather, and it makes the sound of NEHOY MENOY HOY MENYOY. The dread fills me and I know this secret must die forever.

**RomanesEuntDomus** · 07-13-2021, 09:01 PM

Someone has stolen my identity? Oh wow I wonder how they've been able to do that because I've toooootally not been visiting a bunch of shady websites over the last few days. Or weeks. Or months. Or years. The first thing any reasonable criminal would go for would obviously be my money but while it is one of the most dangerous aspects of an identity theft, it would probably be not that hard to counter compared to some of the other ramificantions it could have... Like me losing the logins to all kinds of on- and offline accounts. From social media to my SHLPA account to the workspaces I have with my teammates or my agent, the cloudspaces where I save vital documents or share family photos - seeing these things potentially being broken into would hurt a lot more than someone being able to steal a few hundred thousand or even millions in cash from one of my bank accounts. So by all means, take my money but leave my accounts alone - I guess this is kinda the online equivalent of losing your wallet, where you are fine with it being returned with no money in it, as long as your ID, bank card etc. are still there.

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