Login

Z-Whiz · 02-01-2022, 12:26 PM

I'm not sure what pilk is and I'm too afraid to google it or ask in the Atlanta locker room. That said, I would immediately hire out a new chef. Good leaders lead, and great leaders delegate. I'd hire a Michelin chef to be the new team chef and take all the credit when everyone is happy. Every player could custom order whatever type of food they want. If you want pizza, order a pizza. If you want spaghetti, order spaghetti. If you want pilk, well we don't serve that unless you explain what it is. Tacos made out of sandwiches, hamburgers made out of hotdogs, ice cream made out of frozen yogurt. Whatever your heart desires, we will serve. Doesn't need to be healthy either. If you want 13 old fashions served in a fish bowl, you got it. There's enough fruit in those drinks for you to get some sustenance. The only thing we won't serve is duck. So don't even ask or you will be perma-banned.

*WithTheMoose* · 02-01-2022, 12:34 PM

Pengu would happily take over the role of chef for the team as he has never thought the team ate enough fish as is. The previous chef was an absolute fraud who never made enough fishes. Everyone knows that a healthy penguin needs more fishes than one could count and the previous chef always kept them locked up and threw around absurd claims like Pengu would steal the fishes if they weren't secure. With him out of the way, Pengu would have free reign of the freezer where he would prepare a meal plan for the team that consisted exclusively fish dishes. Fried fish, baked fish, sushi, the works. If it could be made out of fish, it would be on the menu. After all, good fishes is what every strong penguin needs and if Pengu is strong, the rest of the team is strong. They could all bond over the tastiness of fish and their new found morale would push them through the season!

Kraagenskul · 02-01-2022, 01:07 PM

Prompt 2
Zebulon Leavitt tried to go vegan because numerous famous athletes have successfully done this to improve their game. However, Baltimore is not exactly a hive of vegan shopping, he really, really likes the crab the area is famous for, and he grew up in the woods of New Hampshire so still has a hankering for venison.
He now describes his diet as "Mostly Vegan," but does not really say that much as any actually vegans will lecture him for countless hours about how you are either vegan or not. He basically eats completely vegan unless his is somewhere where the food lifestyle would cause inconvenience to others. When he goes back to his hometown his parents are note exactly serving tofu and salad, so he just eats what they serve him. Going to the local crab shack with his teammates he tries to pick the healthiest choice but people are not usually hitting these places to watch their cholesterol.

***Ragnar*** · 02-01-2022, 01:24 PM

Please ensure you read and understand the disclaimer.

Sigs by Me, Merica, High Stick King, Rum_Ham, Jess, vulfzilla, enigmatic, and Carpy

❤!! RIP to the big homies 701 and Mac !!❤

steveoiscool · 02-01-2022, 01:54 PM

Prompt 1:

Sven had spent his whole life in Sweden before coming to the SHL, but quickly realized that Swedish dishes are not too easily found in Canada or the US. He'd seen all kinds of travesties: burgers with meat piled up higher than anyone's mouth could possibly open, french fries slathered with cheese and gravy, and worst of all: pilk. Instead of trying to introduce typical Swedish cuisine to the team's diet and running the risk of everyone absolutely hating it, Sven decided to do some research on typical American cuisine so that everyone would be happy with the kitchen change. After flipping through the channels and landing on a very American sounding show called "It's always sunny in Philadelphia", he found the perfect thing to serve to the team: Rum Ham. It didn't really seem to help though...the team was less than energized the next time they hit the ice and ended up dropping a game to Texas by a score of 5-2.

*slothfacekilla* · 02-01-2022, 03:16 PM

PBE PT

StadiumGambler · 02-01-2022, 04:13 PM

Nick Brain is luckily a fairly decent cook, and is willing to make good meals for his teammates without being shoehorned into the role of team chef. Nick learned from the best source available: Gordon Ramsay YouTube videos. Nick would make a delicious rib rack roast beef, sliced thinly for sandwiches with some dijon mustard and extra aged cheddar on a nice baguette. For a side dish, Nick would make grated potato pancakes, using a rather simple traditional Jewish recipe, frying them in a little oil with salt and pepper.

For dessert, Nick would make the sea salt ice cream from Kingdom Hearts. It requires just using some high quality ingredients to make a conventional vanilla ice cream, before adding a teaspoon sea salt and teal gel-based food colouring. It could be served in either a bowl or with a popsicle stick.

Overall, it would be a far more pleasing experience for the Toronto North Stars than whatever the fuck "bilk" is.

*roastpuff* · 02-01-2022, 05:11 PM

Choice 1

The funny thing is, Magnus relished being the team chef. He was the son of a restauranteur, after all, and his mother was the best chef in Örnsköldsvik bar none. He grew up helping her in the kitchen during the off-season, the summer months, and although not up to her level was better than most when it came to plating up delicious, healthy food. Although some of the orders from the team were rather odd, he tried his best to deliver what was asked for, and sometimes substituting in healthier ingredients than what the original recipe called for without the teammate knowing that the substitution had been made. Sometimes, he just outright ignored the weird orders such as pilk, rum ham and milk steak that came in. He wasn't going to waste food that way.

Soon, it was widely agreed that Magnus's cooking was actually better than what the previous team chef had served up, and teammates began to eagerly line up when it was his turn in the kitchen.

greencityny · 02-01-2022, 05:57 PM

Prompt 2

Foood. I love fooooood. Protein, fiber and carbs is what I need. Preferably all in one dish. I eat like Sumos. One giant pot with all the goodness mixed in. Start with a light vegetable broth. Why vegetable? Because all the meat and fat that will be added later is going to make that broth a lot more rich. Next comes the noodles. Thick ramen style noodles, buckwheat noodles and knife cut noodles. Pack in the carbs. Now comes the meat. Thick slices of fatty ribeye steak, first grilled the topped on the bed of noodles. Pork belly strips with crispy skin and soaked in bbq sauce. Grilled shrimp seasoned with umami flavors and layered on top. Last comes the vitamin and fiber layer. The vegetables. I dont like my veges soggy so vegges have to come last and sit on top of everything else - outside the broth so they stay crunchy.

*NorwegianDemon* · 02-01-2022, 06:33 PM

PROMPT 1: I started with a couple of meals that will please everyone. The first meal that I would serve them to get them on my good side is a pizza with custom toppings for every player. The second meal I would serve to them is burgers, either beef or chicken, and I would also let them choose their toppings. The third and last meal that I would do to please them would be a smoked brisket with a side of macaroni and cheese, because everyone loves a good barbecue meal. Then I would switch to healthier options. On game day, I would start with a breakfast consisting of ham, sausage, eggs as a protein source and potatoes that could help to get some energy for the morning skate. At noon, I would serve them chicken with broccoli and salads, to add protein source for them to be ready for the nights game. Finally, a couple hours before the game, they would get pasta with a choice of fruits as desert to get them the carbs they will burn during the game.

180 words

***KaleSalad*** · 02-01-2022, 07:46 PM

Prompt 1:
Perhaps the easiest question in the world to answer is what Nathan Thomas would be eating day in and day out. With him now taking over as head chef he would instill his constant intake of Kale into his meal routine. Eating Kale in his smoothies, as his main salad dish it is the main staple that gives him all the energy he needs to compete on the ice. Of course when it would come to off days or when this ridiculous schedule have us multiple days off between our back to backs he would allow his teammates to make an order of what they wanted would be. With his limited actually ability to cook with anything other then Kale it would likely mean just making a pizza with the random ingredients that the players wanted. Obviously the first time that this happened or after a week of Kale type meals the team will be pooling their money together to bring back the real chef that knows how to make all their favorites.
wc:173

Tylar · 02-01-2022, 08:00 PM

As the new team chef, the daily meal provided for the team will be the same every day. It will be ketchup pasta. Why? Because it is highly nutritious with the cheese, carbs and tomatoes. Ketchup pasta is very versatile. The other options include having top dog regular wieners cut into small chunks and put inside. Some other variations like Velveeta or cheese whiz ketchup pasta as well. It is a simple meal that can be made for a lot of folks and overall is a good pre-game meal. It covers basically all the food groups and will provide the team with energy. The type of drink with the meal will be chocolate milk because it is highly nutritious as well. Chocolate milk is always good and you can never go wrong. There are no orders being taken because everyone loves ketchup pasta and therefore no other arrangements need to be made.

The Newfoundland Berserkers will also take advantage of this menu as they tend to be big fans. That is why they perform so well.

(170 Words)

Serpe x 13 · 02-01-2022, 08:33 PM

PT Pass

**bbjygm** · 02-01-2022, 09:15 PM

As the new team chef, I take no orders. I make what I want, when I want. Every morning I make 3 meals worth of food for breakfast. The menu includes:
- rocky mountain oysters topped with melted casu marzu,
- poached century eggs,
- piping hot kale pache,
- blended natto veggie patties layered with sliced su callu sardu,
- pan fried hakarl filets,
- duck balut shots,
- durian smoothies,
- kopi luwak espresso, and
- jibachi senbei cookies covered with shirako frosting.
The menu is hand picked by myself to promote a low calorie diet. One taste of anything will ruin your appetite for a few days, rinse and repeat. What better way to reduce calories than to cut all food from your diet? I also reduce energy drinks and serve them to the team after dissolving heaps of crushed aspirin before games for acute doses of caffeine while minimizing the risk of heart attacks. Last but not least, each player has a life alert button around their neck that speed dials 911, in case they collapse from starvation or a heart attack.

**leafs1997** · 02-01-2022, 11:17 PM

I'm the new Chef? We're screwed. Firstly, this needs to be brought up with NOLA HR. Why am I cooking? I'm not even a rookie. Wait, if the HR is Python, just forget it. I'll just take this opportunity to screw with everyone. Firstly, Malik will make everyone THINK they're going to be well taken care of. You need to put in some effort so that the end return is worthwhile. So, I'll msg everyone directly and get their chosen menus for the entire day. After that, let's throw some pictures of food that I've definitely not cooked on Twitter, Insta, whatever else gets people hyped! Next, let's prepare some dishes that look like what they're supposed to, but not in the taste department. Salt instead of sugar....you get the idea. Now, we need cameras set up everywhere. Let's start with Kauppinen so there's no way someone can tip him off. Once we get him, let's force him to screw with everyone else. Icing on the cake? Blame it all on him.

Navigation

Extra Menu

About us