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Memento Mori · 04-01-2022, 12:17 PM

Lorec · 04-01-2022, 12:41 PM

ph

Gifter of Bikes · 04-01-2022, 12:57 PM

2

When news leaked that the Calgary Dragons we're facing a bit of a budget crisis, reporters reached out to several players, looking for the inside dirt.

"Yes, that's pretty much it," defenseman Eero Makela said to assembled reporters yesterday. "General Manager Kez called me in, complimented me on my navy blue suit, said it brought out my eyes. Then he says, "Eero, you've done great things for us, very steady and reliable. I know you're making a lot of money this year, so what do you think of taking an 80% pay cut next season?"

"I laughed. I thought he was joking," Makela continued. "I knew it was legit when he handed me a piece of paper saying I'd be paid in tortilla chips and nacho cheese. Kez, I said, you need to give me at least double the chips, and 50% more cheese. And don't skimp on the jalapenos!"

***Ragnar*** · 04-01-2022, 01:35 PM

I would look at something different, like changing the pay scale for the players… so they’ll still get paid, and they’re not fired, but it will be less money we give them. Something like $10 for every goal they score and $5 for every assist. The goalie will get $1 for every save they make. That way we’ll save lots of money since Chimkin Tendy is on the team and he fucking sucks. So his pay will go from like $4 million a season to like 25 dollars. Additionally, fans will no longer get the concessions they’re used to. They’ll now be fed water scooped fresh from Lake Erie and whatever we can scrounge from the dumpster behind the local Ruby Tuesday’s. Also I know we can’t fire anyone but I would really like to fire Lee… unrelated to the money issue. No? Okay. Well then another thing we could do is turn all the lights off and save on that electric bill. We could just play with a glow in the dark puck and night vision.

Sigs by Me, Merica, High Stick King, Rum_Ham, Jess, vulfzilla, enigmatic, and Carpy

❤!! RIP to the big homies 701 and Mac !!❤

AL GRINGO · 04-01-2022, 02:05 PM

WSBL PT

Arkz · 04-01-2022, 02:35 PM

Microtransactions, but for the players on the ice. Just think about it, imagine how much people would be willing to pay to 'customize' the on-ice look of some of their favorite players in an actual game that will be shown live on television. You could have so many options, such as paying in for what kind of jersey a player would wear on the ice, or what Jon St. Ark would have on his goalie helmet during the game. Maybe you want to replace one of the players' sticks with a pool noodle, or perhaps the putter from 'Happy Gilmore'. And what's even better, you can reset things after each game, so there's a chance to generate revenue all season long. Perhaps you can change the name on the back of a jersey to something custom, or have a custom message on the front instead. Soon this idea would be so good that many teams around the league would be copying it.

charlieconway · 04-01-2022, 03:44 PM

Quote:PLAYER PROMPT- Rumours are circulating in the locker room that some stooge in upper management lost a ton of the team's money. Suddenly you've been called into the GM's office to discuss your next contract, and they want you to take less than you're worth.

Written Task: So, do you do it? Is your player willing to take less to help out the team? Does your player care about money? If so, do they have big obligations off the ice that they need the money for? A huge mortgage? A charitable foundation? Gambling debts? Why do you want the money? If they're just in it for the love of the game and couldn't care less about their contract, then why? Are you already set for life on your earnings? Do you live a humble life that doesn't require much? Tell me what would your player do in this situation and why. (150+ words).

Listen, GM. Friend, amigo, ami, 친구. There’s no way I can take a pay cut. I can’t afford to give up my extensive collection of antique glasses and silverware, nor can I afford to give up my vast array of retro jet engines that requrie around-the-clock maintenance from expert aviation mechanics.
I enjoy daily ventures to the casino in Atlantic City. I put it all on black, and when that doesn’t work, I double down on red.
So let me ask you. Are my tastes expensive? Yes. But do I not have a right to spend insane amounts of money that I earned by shooting (and missing) the net eight times a game and playing zero defense? I am a legend in the SHL. I am the greatest defenseman since Alonzo Garbonzo, and children grow up wishing they could be Adam Barron. I need to maintain that image, and that means designer suits and limited edition sports cars that guzzle gas faster than a 747… which I have the engine of. In my collection. Of Jet airplanes.

supertardis101 · 04-01-2022, 03:58 PM

PBE CW PT

***honkerrs*** · 04-01-2022, 04:42 PM

Creative Prompt

To save money without firing anyone I think the Forge would go full #sell out mode to make some money. How about a good ol fashioned bake sale to raise some cash? We have got a lot of pro chefs on the team such as Igor Victory and the GM himself acsolap is the great restaraunteur so we could probably make some money that way. Another thing we could do to go full #sell out is to start to sell game used gear after every single game. What better way to make some more cash than to auction off game used gear for all those collectors out there. Another way that could be a good way to #sell out is to do those cameo videos to highest bidders as well. I'm sure johnny would love a big ol happy birthday from his favorite goalie scoochie for this 6th birthday part to wow all his friends. The forge would be flowing with cash in no time with these ideas.

Bongo · 04-01-2022, 04:43 PM

alright so first things first ; i need to totally reverse the damage caused by acsolap's cryptopunk nephew. I must contrive a market for bored comissioner NFTs (gary vaynerchuk style) and inflate all of the prices, pay the finest influencers to support my nfts such as mr beast, logan paul and sxe phil. The kids will eat it up, and young rich hollywood hunks will buy the nfts en masse. i will also invest the earnings into AMC and GME stock on a dip, selling when the price rises 55% and 35% respectively. its gonna be a long year of nft grifting, but if this pursuit is successful i may actually repeat the process. I could also probably ask for donations to our office and locker rooms such as coffee, orange slices and tape to save on costs. One thing is for certain if i can turn this ship around there isnt anything i cant do baby!

*lmao* · 04-01-2022, 04:52 PM

Code:
Prompt 2

I am not really completely sure what I would do if the team came to me in a meeting and said that they would want to pay me even less than I am currently making. To begin with, I am already running pretty low on money, and I do not really think that I can really afford to drop down in salary at all if I want to keep up with having the best training for my player. However, I do love being on the team that I am currently on, it would be tough to go to a new team, especially if it was some kind of tanking team or some kind of basement team. So all in all, I think I would have to go for the new contract even if it is lower than expected. I will be taking one for the team, so to speak, which I am kind of okay with at least for now.

Ant · 04-01-2022, 05:40 PM

Player Prompt

As a player for any team your goal shouldn't be to try and take home the most money, it should be try win as much as you can and bring glory to every team you play for, i know i would play for free if i was told i would have to just because i know the GM would Hopefully spend it on improvements to the team or lower the ticket prices for all the fans so we can get more supporters in to boost the teams morale or the worst case scenario is we need to cut wages just to keep the team running, i will always live by a quote from the famous football (soccer) defender Tony Adams: "Play for the name on the front of the shirt and they will remember the name on the back." , team glory is more important than player glory to me

*roastpuff* · 04-01-2022, 07:17 PM

The Tampa Bay Barracuda's budget is apparently floundering, so the team management has mandated that every staff members needs to go fishing for money on the days off - literally. They will be going out to the Florida Keys, fishing the waters, and then selling the fish that they caught to make money for the team budget. The player who fishes the most, and earns the most money, will get a bigger contract. Of course, they will be trying to get the big money fish, like marlin, swordfish, tarpon, sharks and the eponymous barracuda. Mahi mahi and flying fish are just bonuses.

The team will also be auctioning off fishing charters with team members, so that the public can go fishing with their favourite hockey stars from the Tampa Bay Barracuda. Never mind the fact that many of the Barracuda can get sea sick which is ironic, but the money from the people who won will be more than welcome to the team management.

***SchwarzNarr*** · 04-01-2022, 10:27 PM

One of the things that Melvin has never really cared about, especially as a literal moose, is money. Sure some is nice to make sure that he has the appropriate accommodations, as overheating is a very big issue for moose in certain climates, but once his housing is set up, for the most part Melvin is very much good. Every year Melvin sets aside a large portion of his salary, however, approximately 50% for research into the parasitic brain worm that is plaguing moose populations throughout the world. Having lost several close family members to this awful parasite, Melvin actively fights against zombie moose and the damage that these brain parasites can cause. Indeed, it is his biggest fear to become infected as currently there is no known treatment nor cure, and instead it is an incredibly painful and horrible end for a moose. He'd be saddened that his contributions to the foundation and research would be reduced by the salary cut, but he had made plenty of money as a football player and would be able to continue funneling millions into the research regardless.

zaynzk · 04-01-2022, 11:00 PM

wsbl

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