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S64 PT #2: Deficit

CREATIVE PROMPT

so this season since we apparently hired the nephew of the general manager, who has made some terrible decisions with the team finances, the atlanta inferno has decided to take on sponsorships that are both lucrative and performance enhancing. in fact, the major sponsorship that the team is banking on is the sponsorship by dairy queen. the deal that the team has in place with the famous ice cream chain is that the team would not only be selling dairy queen soft serve at the concession stands and actively promote its consumption with special intermission "dairy queen soft serve stretches", the team itself will also be provided an unlimited amount of dairy queen soft serve ice cream to consume during the game. this is particularly advantageous to players like eko van otter (@hotdog) because eko is actually lactose intolerant. now normally it would be a bad thing for people (or otters) that are lactose intolerant to consume dairy, but in this case it actually provides a huge competitive advantage because not only can his smelly farts help with discouraging the opposing team's offense from coming anywhere near him, but his farts can also act as an extra method of propulsion while he skates. talk about a two for one special! the other team members are also reacting very positively to this sponsorship, with players like angus mcfife xviii (@micool132) and pablo salve of tea tree (@Jepox) reportedly increasing their top speed by an impressive 7% after ingesting just a single cup of soft serve.

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Signatures by Vulfzilla, Jepox, Jess, rum_ham, Ragnar, and myself
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Many people are thinking of things that they could give up in order to acheive financial freedom due to the impending financial crisis caused by the nephew fungible tokens catastrophe, but why not get a bit more creative with the entire thing and begin taking things away from opponents in order to decrease our monthly spending. Instead of transferring our entire roster onto the cheaper less durable wood sticks, why do we not just turn off the hot water for the visitors change room? Why do we not just refuse to serve the opposing team a pre and post game meal. Over the course of the season this could be tens of thousands of dollars saved and as you mentioned every penny counts during trying times such as these. If there was one thing I would give up of my own it would have to be my skate sharpener as I am terrible on my skates regardless.

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Player Prompt -

Henrik has always been a team player first and foremost. This has never been about money or about getting rich. Most people wouldn't dream of earning the kind of money HLO earns in one season of playing, let alone his entire career. If you add to this the relationship that he has with the city, the fans and the franchise itself, its an obvious choice for him. He would not mind at all taking less in order to stay and keep this team competitive. Henrik isn't really a big spender and he has spent most of his earnings investing in various things in order to keep himself and his family well off for a long time. When he retires, he plans to study and go back into the workforce in some form of academia so even when he is done playing there will be plenty of time for Henrik to keep earning money and to keep up with a very good standard of living even if he were to take a little less than he is worth.

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Creative Prompt

Well, since the LA Panthers can no longer contribute to other charitable causes with their lack of funds, it only makes sense to treat themselves as a charitable cause! That can't mean raising ticket prices; everyone in LA is fake-rich as it is, and the tickets are expensive enough. The Panthers players are going to have to go out there the old fashioned way. I'm talking door-to-door coupon book sales. Pie eating contests among other events at an LAP county fair. Perhaps a small section of the team can create some NFT's and scam a bunch of children into them - you'd obviously need a few players to take a loss in their personal accounts to really make out good for the team, but it'd be well worth it. At the conclusion of the fundraising effort(s), the team could raffle off starting positions for a charity roller hockey tournament. On top of there being prize money and legitimate teams at said tournament, getting a few ravenous fans to donate only to skate around poorly with the team is the best way to generate money fast.

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Written Task: This season you have to save money and quick! How do you do it? The only rule is that nobody loses their job! The SHL puts workers first, so you gotta get creative! Does the whole team go back to wooden sticks? Do you take a lucrative dairy sponsorship and skate on frozen milk instead of ice? Or do you go absolutely bonkers and do something like raise ticket prices? (150+ words)


To save the Calgary Dragons some money, I started with having a look at the buffet table set up in the team locker room. Normally it is piled high with chicken parms and meatballs and cookies and all sorts of amazing things created by the team chefs. It is always very extravagant and keeps the players well-fed before, during, and after the game. But we need to save some money so I asked the chef to lower the food cost. The first thing was that we substituted out the fresh parmesan cheese flown in daily from Italy, and replaced it with the crappy grated stuff from the discount store. Also, instead of using ground kobe filet mignon for the meatballs, we now use secondary cuts of beef like tongue and liver. We completely phased out the fresh fruits and vegetables since nobody ate them anyway. Instead of 18 different types of hot sauce there are now only 8, and just 2 choices of mustard instead of 17. I tried to get rid of the 8 foot tall chocolate fountain as well but that was a hard no from everyone so I guess it stays. We have definitely saved a bunch of money but clearly it has had a disastrous effect on team performance as the Dragons languish in last place in the conference standings, the players are all just too depressed and hungry to give it their all every night.

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Grizzlies      S76 SMJHL DRAFT 3RD OVERALL PICK      Grizzlies
Argonauts        S77 SHL DRAFT 4TH OVERALL PICK          Argonauts
Norway                     IIHF TEAM NORWAY                       Norway



Quote:PLAYER PROMPT- Rumours are circulating in the locker room that some stooge in upper management lost a ton of the team's money. Suddenly you've been called into the GM's office to discuss your next contract, and they want you to take less than you're worth. 

Written Task:  So, do you do it? Is your player willing to take less to help out the team? Does your player care about money? If so, do they have big obligations off the ice that they need the money for? A huge mortgage? A charitable foundation? Gambling debts? Why do you want the money? If they're just in it for the love of the game and couldn't care less about their contract, then why? Are you already set for life on your earnings? Do you live a humble life that doesn't require much? Tell me what would your player do in this situation and why. (150+ words).


I would for sure take less of a contract, and get with the rest of my teammates to make sure that we are all on the same page.  My player is always team first over any kind of money being made, but it also comes down to if the team is getting better and working together, or if it's just some money grubbing owner that doesn't want to spend anything.

I lead a pretty frugal live and don't need millions stacked on top of millions to make my life go around.  It is much better to be able to live and be happy with what you have, then to always want more more more and spit on all those around you.  If only I could help and teach the rest of my teammates that, we all know that Brendan York II is coming into the league with money that his father came him and thinks he should be waited on hand and foot.  But maybe, just maybe we can get through to this young rookie to enjoy what you have, and help out the rest of the team by taking a little less.

Everyone knows right now the economy is taking a hit and everyone's favorite thing to do right now is to blame Joe Biden and Justin Trudeau as if it's 110% their fault despite basically everywhere being affected. It couldn't be because of the war started by that dickhead Putin, no... It couldn't be because of the virus we so strongly battled over the last two years that kind of shut down some aspects of life, no... Whatever the case might be, though, things are getting more expensive... Just listen to these people:

" I have to pay $1.65 a liter right now at the Gas pumps and it's really hurting me. I drive a massive, jacked up truck which I've chosen to drive despite the knowledge of poor fuel economy and I am upset about fuel prices because it's gonna cost an extra $11 every time I fuel up."
- Brad from Northern Alberta

"Vegan cheese costs $1.00 more at the store and it's starting to really get hard. I want to do what's right and eat this fake cheese that's pumped with sodium, but that extra dollar is really getting me right now"
- Lithium from Toronto

P.S Vegan Cheese good!

So the costs are hitting everyone, everywhere... and it's also hitting our SMJHL teams really bad. The Kelowna Knights, like the other teams throughout the SHL community, are looking at ways of mirroring what is happening in the rest of the world and this is what they got going on.

1. We liked the suggestion. The team has gone back to wooden sticks. We know. The economy. They say money doesn't grow on trees, but trees grow on trees and these hockey sticks are trees. Cheap. We bought a small little tree farm and are growing our sticks and helping the environment.
2. Prices at the concessions have been bumped up. Pizza goes from $7 to $9, Beer goes from $10 to $12, a Burger goes from $7 to $10.50, Nachos go from $6 to $8 and everything else will follow suit shortly.
3. Prices of your average ticket for Kelowna Knights games before the pandemic were $25. The average price for a ticket right now, even with them not being so hot is $35.
4. Will only have one forward line because that's all we can afford. InFlAtiOn SucKs. It's all happening because of Trudeau!

Well over 150+ words.






Saving and/or earning money for the team? That’s easy. We’re going back to minor hockey roots, and the Hamilton Steelhawks will be devoting all of their Saturdays for the rest of the season to bag groceries at local grocery stores for customers in hopes to getting tips. Nobody loves to bag groceries, but nobody on the team was willing to sacrifice any of their sponsorships, equipment, or whatnot, so desperate times lead to desperate measures.

I think it would be a great little exercise, and I’m sure it would be hilarious. Imagine going to the grocery store, checking out and a team of grown men (who each make millions of dollars, by the way) are bagging your groceries to raise money for their team. When looking at it that way, I’m not sure the efforts will be very successful, but who knows. I think people might donate just because it’s their favourite team/player(s) that are there, and people love supporting their sports teams no matter what.

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The budget cuts have taken a pretty big chunk of morale out of the Timber locker room, but luckily we are already a skimpy team when it comes to spending large amounts of dough. Firstly, the team enforces a very strict 'wood-only sticks' policy, so making the switch from carbon fiber back to wood is already out of the question. Secondly, skating on frozen milk isn't all that terrible because the shavings could be taken to made a "game-used ice cream" concession; an immediate hit with the crowd. Maine has gone through great lengths to make the stadium seating all wooden benches, so the only reasonable expectation would be to raise ticket prices to help cover the rising NFT prices. The players are also doing their part; we've collectively agreed to sell our high-end sports cars and, together, we will build Flintstone-model wooden cars, powered only by our feet. Hard times have fallen in Maine, that's for certain.

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LARGEST PUNISHMENT IN SHL HISTORY

no, the team is not ruined, i think we still can sell the nft's again, i know we can't get the same amount but at least we still get money from that. ok next step is back to wooden stick, this way the team can save more money from that but yeah gonna be hard but still saving money and everyone still can play. ok next , i think the idea of taking lucrative dairy sponsorship is not bad at all, skating on frozen milk is way greater right? and if we have more milk we can use it for the team to do milk bath. ok next is gonna do fund raising of course, the GM's nephew need to take responsibility for it, so the fund raising will be circus plus carwash. in the circus the GM's nephew can participate to be the one hit by water balloon or maybe paint ball game where we must hunt the GM's nephew, and after that the GM's nephew and all the team will do carwash.

First thought that came to mind: Cut Valterri Kauppinen. That guy's a blackhole of salary. Gets paid to do nothing honestly. Vlastislav Malik is already much better than him and can step up to fill his very small shoes. But I guess that counts as a job, so we can't make him lose his job? Fine. Let's just trade him then. He'll have his job, but we won't have to pay him for it. Problem is, who is going to want to trade for such a useless player? Might have to pay someone to take him. Worth it though. Besides that, I think we can cut costs by flying commercial. No more private jets. Also, we seem to have too many snacks. Cut down on that. If players want snacks, they can get their private chefs to make them some. Why's the team paying for that? Lastly, I think the fans should suffer from setbacks just as the players will. If I'm not getting snacks, the fans better have to pay more for theirs! We'll just blame it on inflation, they'll believe that right? Alright gotta go, GM's nephew invited me for a party. Hmm? Nah, it probably didn't cost much. Maybe. Idk. Free food, can't say no to that!

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I was raised by my older sister after our parents passed away in an accident and they left us very little money in their will. We learned how to scrape by with a little. My sister earned a little from her job as a waitress and I would help out by clearing snow from some of our neighbours but we managed. I was fortunate that I was talented at hockey because I had several local benefactors as I got older and the lives of my sister and myself improved immensely. I would have no problem going back to the days of hardship; that being said...

WE REFUSE TO SACRIFICE ANYTHING FOR THIS OWNERSHIP. A poor decision to opt for nepotism over doing a thorough search for a qualified candidate. Our team has come together and decided that the best course of action is to withhold our labour until such time as a proper hiring process is followed for all positions. The nephew will be demoted to a role befitting his capabilities and thus keep his employment. The team will save money by not paying out contracts as well.

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