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S65 PT #2: Matinée

Creative Prompt

Right off the bat, no damn kids allowed in the arena. The youth today have no manners at all. This will be easy enough to enact. Because we are pandering to the elderly demographic, we are going to need to jack up the arena audio even louder. Anyone under the age of 60 is going to have their brains explode from the impact of sound coming their way. Second, free Metamucil to stir into your beer. Old people have trouble staying regular and want to get loaded at the game. Two birds, one stone. Next, we are going to need to make some adjustments to the arena itself. The elderly aren’t exactly known for their eagle eyes. To address this, the regular glass is going to be replaced with prescription strength eyeglass glass. Now everyone will be able to tell what the heck is going on on the ice. Finally, the young kids skate too fast. It is now a penalty to skate more than 15 miles per hour. Referees will be armed with radar guns to enforce this new rule.
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Player PROMPT

An interesting situation. From my point of view, I can say that such a change would certainly affect me very badly. At the moment my daily life is very balanced and dense, I am not from the lazy and slow people, so if I say that my schedule is full, it is certainly the same. Everything starts with quality sleep and good breakfast. I can't do without it because it's the main part of the day. In the days of the game, I have a special menu that I can eat to feel good during the game. The whole schedule is arranged to be ready in time for the evening. If I moved to lunchtime, I thought my schedule would change hard and it would be difficult to get used to for a month. You'll ask why the moon? Just because our goalkeepers are sensitized, we should not be knocked out of everyday routines, because then there is trouble in our performance. I would therefore like to say that such an event would not have a positive effect.

Toms Zīle - young talanted latvian goalie

Prompt #1

With the games being moved to a noon start, we have to do whatever we can to get the 60+ crowd to come out to the games in San Francisco. To start, the team will be offering shuttles to and from each game that pick up residents from some key parts of the city. These will leave promptly at 8 a.m. and depart the games with 10 minutes left in the third period. There will be an all-you-can-eat brunch buffet and a pre-game Elvis impressionist to provide some entertainment for the fans. During the first and second intermissions we're doing away with the fun on-ice activities. Instead we're going to have some more live music performances that play all the old hits that people want to hear. We'll even have them play while the game is going on just to make sure they're having fun and want to come back for the rest of the home games.

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Creative Prompt: I think the best thing we could do as a league to get that 60+ demographic interested in the league would be to slow down the pace of play. Hockey moves entirely too quickly for someone that age and they are going to have trouble keeping up with how much there is going on on the ice. If we imposed a speed limit on players on the ice of a steady 5 MPH then I think that would help a good bit. Penalities would be handed out for going too fast and refs would be equipped with radar guns. I think another thing that we could do is to make the puck bigger. The puck can be very hard to see on TV espicailly with older eyes and I think if we were to triple or quadruple the volume of a hockey puck it would make things a lot easier for those older folks. The puck would be jet black and about the slide of a curling stone. It would be a pain to move but it would make watching the games so much easier for those whos eyesight isnt what it used to be.

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In order to prepare for a game, Melvin does one thing, and one thing only. He sleeps. Most of his day time hours in fact, he's just grazing away and laying down sleeping, so any game that takes place during the traditional daylight hours instead of dawn or dusk, he has an automatic disadvantage in. However, as he is sleeping for most of this time, and lazing around, it does mean that he has the energy needed to make it through the game, and he is typically very relaxed. Yoga and centering himself became an important part of Melvin's recovery after the murder of Daria Guava-Fresca, and without having the calm sense of self, and the ability to calm the thoughts inside of his brain, Melvin would be a far different player than he is today. Noon games really aren't horrible for him, he'd prefer them earlier if anything, but he does try and stay out of the way of his teammates who are a bit more grumbly about the earlier gamedays.

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CHARACTER PROMPT

DAD loves coffee. I mean, no, he ADMIRES coffee. With games usually at 7 PM, DAD takes the opportunity to sleep 8-10h the night before. So with games at noon, DAD has to adjust his lack of sleeps with a lot of coffee. Normally, DAD loves to drink a large black coffee before every game. It helps him to get rid of negative energy and stimulate his mind. Because of new schedule, DAD will have to drink 3 large black coffees between 6 and 8 AM. Normal people has to drink a few litres of waters, but for DAD, water is for the weak. Coffee is everything. For breakfast, he enjoys every single day 3 eggs, whole wheat bread, cottage cheese and raspberry around 10AM. For his pre-game meal, he eats a big ol plate of pesto spaghetti and a glass of raw eggs. DAD will have to get up from bed at 6 AM instead of 9 with a grumpy face and eat the same breakfast. Instead of eating a lot of pasta for his pre-game meal, DAD will simply drink a large black coffee (again) mixed with raw eggs (delicious, right?).

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David-Arturri Donskoi
Regina Elk
Hey I'm DAD can I adopt you?

First off, let's start by saying nobody likes the latest marketing change of waking everyone up early. You think people are going to come to 12 o'clock games instead of 7 during the work week? They've basically shot themselves in the foot. While this new change hasn't been the best, there are some other changes that should help things out a bit. Here are some of them:

1. New 50/50. Everything is online these days and the SHL/SMJHL 50/50's are moving online. The catch? You have to be within the location/teams province or state to buy tickets for their 50/50. This should be able to spread awareness for the team and causes a lot more.

2. Concession pricing. All prices will be dropping 25 cents no matter the item. This helps a tiny bit in showing the customers they care! EAT. EAT. EAT.

3. More fan nights with prizes and shit. We want free twirl things and whistles and jerseys and hats and shirts and pucks and blah blah blah. Give us free shit and we'll come to your games!

That's it for now, okay? 197 words.






Nights on the road as a player can be really tough. As an older fella, Nike Kickz Jr is really enjoying the leagues new change to a schedule that supports our older fans. Noon time puck drop changes the dynamic of late evening flights and 2 AM bedtimes in a hotel room. Pre game meal is now breakfast, instead of an early dinner. So with that said, the major change is likely to be the amount of eggs I’m consuming. However, that’s a great change because eggs are great. The one thing that is really tough to workaround is that midday games mean that lunch time is severely interrupted. Are you noticing a pattern here? Meals are really important when you are a professional hockey player. Those are the rituals that are most impacted by a change in schedule. Warm up skates can be moved. We even find time with matinees to get together as a group and bond in the evenings on the road. Overall, the afternoon game is really preferred for athletes & retirees. Its just the younger fans & adults that have day-jobs that really lose out.

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Thanks Jove for my sig

Due to the SHL ticket sales dropping there have been many proposed changes in an attempt to boost sales. The first change is senior citizens season. Being the oldest player on the team, every game that Aron Hernadivic (@fishy) scores a goal there is a free prune or beet juice for every 60+ year old fan in attendance. It has also been decided that 10% of all ticket sales will be donated to the local Buffalo retirement homes to better support taking care of the elderly. Elizabeth Doyle (@Evok) & Bean Beanman(@Seymour) have offered to teach a free how to ice skate class for the seniors as well. Completion of the 6 week session comes with a free game ticket. Don't worry though, we have trained medical professionals on site. There are also modified ice-ready wheel chair and walkers for those who are to frail to skate on their own. Chimkin Wing (@Ragnar) and KEKW Kekkonen (@WannabeFinn) also host a goal scoring seminar for the elderly where they put Jaska Seppälä (@Zombiewolf) in goalie pads and let them take shots at him. It has been a great way to reach out to the elderly in the community and has really brought the team together.

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Prompt 1

I don't know too much about North American old people culture BUT what I do know I have mostly learned from South Park. So I would probably start by screening JAG reruns for atleast two hours before the game started. There would also be a break before the game so that all the old folks could get some Salisbury steak. There would also be a Florida theme so the arena would be very warm and there would have to be a bubble around the ice so that it stays melted. Hawaiian shirts would be mandatory and there would be plenty of fancy cocktails with the little umbrellas on top. I think that would really add to the feel. To finish, there would be a post-game hangout with plenty of bridge and backgammon. We would continue late into the night (like 5PM) and then they would be driven home by some ethnic person that they could tell their families about, say something like "He was ethnic but he was a really nice young man."

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ok so let me tell you how i usually do for my rituals and pre-game prep, first after i wake up in the morning i have to drink coffee, why? because after that i need to go to toilet and you know what next, then don't forget to eat your breakfast right? then after that i do some little work out in my house for 30 to 60 minutes, after that i take a shower and get ready to the stadium. At the stadium i usually go to the kitchen first, why? cause i need to eat again of course, but the chef at the stadium know more what i need before the game right? after that i usually just chill and watch the opponents games and learn how they play. Then before meeting up with all the teammates i go to toilet again and do my ritual there ahahhaha.
ok so that's what i usually do before the games, but if the game start at noon, i usually just skip the lunch and morning workout, after eating breakfast and coffee and do morning ritual at the toilet, take a shower then go straight to the stadium, and then meet up with all teammates and get ready to win the match, when will i watch the oppoenents tape? the night before ofcourse

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(This post was last modified: 05-30-2022, 01:23 AM by Thunfish. Edited 1 time in total.)

Interviewer: So... do you have a pre-game ritual?
Harrier: Eh, kind of.
Interviewer: What do you mean by "kind of"?
Harrier: I do something before every game but I don't think it's really a ritual. It's still something I dig doing but y'know I wouldn't really count it myself, but I always bring an old PlayStation 2 to trips... and I play fighting games of all sorts.
Interviewer: Any specific one?
Harrier: Eh, whatever suits the mood, y'know. When I have people, I go for something good... unless it's a Friday, then I boot King of Fighters Maximum Impact 2.
Interviewer: Why that game in particular?
Harrier: It's a decent game for newcomers, one that doesn't take itself too seriously, tons of stuff to unlock and... well, the greatest dub-job ever, so it's good to break the ice and relax before actually putting up the work. Besides, it's perfect for getting any bad things out before going on ice. You really shouldn't go on ice with anything major going on your mind, kinda like forgetting to feed Jubu his vodka or something. That's a big no-no, y'know what I mean?

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Scarecrows Dragons Czechia
Player Page - Update Page
Outlungus
Former Players: Yoshimitsu McCloud (LW, #64) - Outlaws pride Platoon Jets Aurora Ireland
Won a Four Star Cup once, knew ninjutsu, picture editors hated him, never tried free agency
Anton Harrier (LW, #90) - Battleborn Rage Ireland
Won WJC gold, liked skateboarding a lot, went to the finals with Manhattan, kept his seat glued in LR

Player Prompt:
Viktor Krunk likes to live on his native Russian time, so a usual 7pm game is like him playing in the early hours of the morning. He tends to be sluggish and sleepy by the end of it. Games starting at noon would be brilliant for him, as it would be roughly equivalent to playing at 9pm his time. He would be able to get more recovery in after the games, with better sleep - even though he still shuns your decadent Western beds for a good, traditional, Soviet roll mat on the floor. It makes him happy.


A shift to noon games would probably hurt the rest of the league - presumably all the large, toothless Canadians that make up the rest of the league would still be hung over from the night before - so we could see a spike in Viktor Krunk's production. For this reason, it would be absolutely superb to see the league make this sort of change.

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CREATIVE PROMPT

The first, and most serious step in all of this is to make sure the arenas are more accessible for the elderly. If you've ever been to some of these arenas that try to stuff in as many seats as possible, they leave you with basically no leg room: having even remotely longer than average legs or being unable to contort yourself in such a way as to fit makes going to those arenas next to impossible. So, one of the changes will have to be to shave off anywhere from 500 to 1000 seats in every building to make for more legroom so that an aging audience can still attend in comfort. This should also accompany the increase in sales of 'standing room' tickets: while a decrease in seats might hurt revenues initially, the development of a strong 'sad old men at the pool hall' vibe in the dining and drinking areas should help recover those lost sales, in addition to bolstering drinking sales.

Next, the music will have to be recognizable. This is going to affect Canadian teams the most. Sorry, but no more cheap and obscure Canadian indie bands: we know you want to feature homegrown talent, but you're going to have to either spring for the stars of yesteryear, or devote your intermission entertainments entirely to short games between Timbits teams. This new focused demographic also offers an interesting marketing opportunity: instead of providing the usual giveaways of merchandise to attendees, the arena can earn a little extra money by shifting towards coupon giveaways. These will make sponsors happy by driving their business, and perhaps increase the amount you can get on future sponsorship deals.

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