S65 PT #4: Fitness? Yeah I'm Fitness Prompt in the Forum

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S65 PT #4: Fitness? Yeah I'm Fitness Prompt in the Forum

CaptainCamel
Registered
Posting Freak

#61

06-08-2022, 08:26 AM

Player Prompt

Paul Binder is a pretty small guy. He comes from short and scrawny parents and grandparents alike. Binder does everything he can in his downtime to try and put on pounds and maintain physical form, but sometimes that metabolism is just too darn fast for its own good. He starts every morning with an 800 calorie protein shake (which has the unfortunate side effects of destroying his tummy, much to the pain of his team mates) and does some cardio in the morning. He then tries to balance out the upper and lower body just to keep and maintain a physical form. As a two way player, he knows he's not going to be 250+ running around absolutely demolishing guys, but pinning them in their zone and keeping tight on the forecheck is how he wears the other team down. Now the bright side of being scrawny and super short in hockey, you can leave your feet when dishing out body checks and you won't get a penalty called for it.

WC 173

thiefofcheese
Media Graders
Posting Freak

#62

06-08-2022, 09:44 AM

Well there are already about 14 billion different workout videos out there and each one claims it is "the best" so it will be hard to differentiate from those. I am all about efficiency so my plan is to straight rip off another one. Remember those P90X videos that were popular 10 years ago? Well it is about time to bring it back in style again. But no one will buy it if I just call it P90X again so will have to come up with another name. Maybe something like "Ivan's workout - Hate Your Life Edition" or something like that. Does not seem catchy enough though so I will have to hire some marketer to help refine that name.

Then we will simply recreate the same exercises and add some terrible banter during and in between the exercises and maybe make a reference to hockey or some "when I was a kid this was a staple in Swiss culture" regardless of the truth of that.

Then I will release these through a subscription online and spent 3/4 of our budget to just make sure that this doesn't get pirated immediately. We have to make sure we milk out every possible dollar from this priceless workout routine and prosecute to the full extent of the law with our overly expensive lawyers. I do not care if you are some 16 year old kid that does not have any cash - we will send your ass to jail.

Yeah, I expect we will be out of cash quickly...

G2019
Registered
Am a peasant

#63

06-08-2022, 12:25 PM

PBE Affiliate

Fluw
Registered
EBEBEB, Monke and the Almighty Cod

#64

06-08-2022, 12:34 PM

Prompt 2:

I myself am not one for workout regiments, so I would not even really be able to begin to imagine the kind of workouts that go into keeping into peak perfection for playing the sport. However if I would have to make some guesses, GK would be working on his skating, as he is getting older naturally he is getting slower and that needs more work.

GK’s primary play style is as a playmaker/setup man, and he excels at that as you can see this season where he currently leads the league in assists. He tends to spend evenings at the rink, practicing passing into mini nets, much like you see in soccer, and in addition practices lobbing pucks for quick possible breakaways. In addition, GK typically also works on his stick handling coordination so that he is able to properly collect a pass, and control it and then dish it out for a primary assist to his linemate Marner.

Words 161

roastpuff
Head Office
Head Office

#65

06-08-2022, 02:32 PM

In order to make workouts interesting again, Magnus Liljestrom will release a series of workout videos featuring moves from movies. One such move is the Bend and Snap from Legally Blonde, which will help work the core muscles and also the quick twitch reflexes. Another move would be from Karate Kid, Sweep the Leg, which helps with balance and lowering your center of gravity, and Wax On Wax Off, which helps stick movement. From Harry Potter, the Wave the Wand helps stick control, and confusing your enemy with which way you're going to shoot the puck or pass it, as well as Being the Bludger helping practice hitting other people.

Hopefully, these movie inspired moves can help people get their fitness back in shape, and also make it so that workouts are less boring. More importantly, Magnus is doing these without licensing the rights so he is worried that he might get sued by the various entities responsible for these franchises.

leviadan
Player Progression Director
be nice to me it's the law

#66

06-08-2022, 08:31 PM

PT pass because I'm in the worst shape of my adult life.

Reno
SMJHL HO
if two of your three members are in the band i dont care if you call it box car racer its still blink-182

#67

06-08-2022, 08:37 PM

PBE PT

enigmatic
Trading Card Team
currently with big titles

#68

06-08-2022, 09:09 PM

If there is one thing Jasper Maximov loves, it's to show off his body. Especially his abs. Therefore, he wears a crop top in his training videos. To make things even more uncomfortable to watch, every other person performing the routine with him on screen wears a normal t-shirt and shorts... well, normal as in it's 80's themed.

I can't say that the exercises are actually good for anything but they look pretty good and with the length that each disk is surely helps at least in terms of weight loss because you just don't have time to eat if you dedicate a day to your training. Additionally, Jasper doesn't like whiners and quitters and he will let his audience know in a particularly aggressive manner during the routine.

All in all, his fitness video is more unintentionally funny than anything else. 9 in 10 doctors do not recommend it, and the tenth was paid to say it was good.

Julio Tokolosh
Registered
Posting Freak

#69

06-08-2022, 09:55 PM

My parents had the DVD box set of the PRx 90 workouts that rocked the 2000's. From late night informercials to primetime normal commercials, Tony Horton was there to bark out catchphrases and motivational instructions. The most popular idea behind the workouts was the "patented muscle confusion" which was there way of saying "do a different workout every day and your body wont get used to the routine.
Tokolosh and gang will be bringing something similar, for a mental workout. Patented mental confusion! Its a series of thought pieces, with a fuzzy camera recording a unique rant that starts reasonably and then unwinds into something strange and twisted. The viewer is meant to sort of walk along the treadmill and figure out where the spiel is going. "hmmm... I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt on the UFO encounter, but I really dont see where the tangent about neck tie knot choice is going, or where it really even stemmed from. i thought it was going to be funny, and this sounds light hearted, but its just left me further confused."

Ohtaay
SHL GM
Beans?

#70

06-08-2022, 10:19 PM

Task One:

Well some will say you need to be on the best diet, and be in the best physical shape to make it in the SHL. Well I am here to tell you other wise, but in order to get this information and take advantage of my next level fitness routine you will need to subscribe to my weekly fitness program. Now you might be wondering what is including in my weekly updates, well you will get to see all the meals I eat every day, literally every meal will be included. You will have access to my daily step counter, which will keep you in the loop with how many steps you need to take every day.

My weekly fitness program will be available on youtube premium, with high quality videos. I will also be living streaming my fitness routine on youtube, as well as releasing once a month teaser videos. If videos are to much for you, you can also subscribe to my podcast for your audio needs! Coming to youtube soon!

170+ words

Pickle Juice
Registered
Senior Member

#71

06-08-2022, 10:44 PM

It is no secret Ty Murphy is all about the fitness. He is consistently in the gym hitting all of his compound lifts on a daily basis. What would his workout tape include? Every fucking day is leg day. Thats right, every day. If you want to be able to play in this league you have to have some fucking tree trunks for legs. I'm talking a minimum of a six hundred pound squat max. At the very least. His workout revolves around very high weight and very low reps. fuck 5/3/1's, welcome to the 1/2/1 baby. I want to see that bar bending with every lift there is so much fucking weight on it. After legs, Ty will get into upper body lifts. Bench, overhead press, incline bench, and weighted dips are his bread and butter. Not to mention, he believes you should be pulling just as much as you push, so the lats and the posterior delts are getting hit frequently as well. Under his tutelage, the world will be a swole place.

Carpy48
Graphic Graders
I <3 Coffee

#72

06-09-2022, 06:50 AM

Creative Prompt

Carpet Productions presents: the ultimate coffee workout. You could've guessed that. If you didn't, where have you been all those years? Our new YouTube workout channel will teach you many different ways to incorporate more coffee into your workouts. Starring your favorite local coffee junkie and the rest of the Toronto North Stars. Before we start let's take everyone's orders and remember them - or at least write them down. Then we'll start with the basics. Get yourself some bags full of coffee beans and lift them. The heavier, the better. This has to include at least some proper exercise after all. When you're done with that part it's time to manually grind these beans. Then head over to the French press and make coffee the good old way. Remember everyone's orders too - who wanted extra cream? First cup done, take a break and enjoy. Repeat until you have made enough coffee for the whole team. Also don’t forget to click like and subscribe.

blix900
Simmer
Simmer

#73

06-09-2022, 08:37 AM

pt pass

WithTheMoose
Player Progression Director
Posting Freak

#74

06-09-2022, 09:22 AM

Player Prompt

Adelie is a beat of a penguin who has worked to be one of the best shut down defenders in the league. As such his workout routine is very rigorous and most of it has to do with increasing both his speed and hit power. Much of of the second come from his bursts of speed though as a momentum is a killer. To stay in shape, Adelie spends much of his time in the deep seas swimming. He intentionally tantalizes both killer whales and seals. After all their preferred food is penguin. He gets them to chase him and then he takes off, making it a life or death race. This really gets his heart racing and keeps him in the shape he needs for top speed. Then to get his strength up, he practices wrestling with his best friend who is a giant moose. The size difference is impressive and Moose often wins, but Adelie learns something new every time. Thanks to Moose's weight, he builds his muscles and fins new ways to hit people! He does these things almost every day and it pays off on the ice when he absolutely smashes a would be scorer against the glass.

bluesfan55
IIHF Federation Head
Too young for this shit

#75

06-09-2022, 09:59 AM

mitchell van der heijden is less than pleased to reveal that he is creating his own workout tape which will be released in the year nineteen eighty five (which happens to be a solid thirty seven years ago, there is a nice good old fashioned fun fact for you which i hope you enjoy). in this poorly designed, shot, filmed, created, executed, and taped tape (which can be exclusively found in vhs which stands for video gone system there is another cool fun fact for you), philadelphia forge star (well he kinda sucks know because he is an old man nearing retirement) mitchell van der heijden and a cadre of his teammates (who? you will have to find out) slide into tight fitting eighties style workout clothes and take you through a hockey workout which includes fantastic moves such as the glute thrust, chirp and shove, and the body check.

prompt 1, 150 words