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*Count Chocula* · 08-13-2023, 05:16 PM

Prompt 1

It would be very easy to coach my team to victory. Being that the opponent is much larger they will obviously have a hard time maneuvering around the ice. Not only that, but it will be much harder to handle the puck so to the increased size differential. It will require the other team much finer motor movement to be efficient. All I have to do is train my alien friends the basics of balance, speed, and pick handling to give them a clear cut advantage over the larger aliens. If I have enough time I could get them accustomed to the finer details of the game. As long as they have seen goon enough, they should have the aggression and heart engrained in their head. I have the talent to show them all they need to know as a coach on the bench. When the time comes they will win the intergalactic championship.

Weaves · 08-13-2023, 05:29 PM

I would honestly interogate the mascot and make sure it never happens again. I would take him to the local hockey arena, and tie him down with some hockey tape as well! its like a tit for tat sort of situation whereby what you do to someone else you have to do oto that person!! I would then put him in a chair and force him to listen to taylor swift music for over 24 hours, adding to the torture -- if he turns into a "swfite" all the better and more toture for the mascot! In addition, I would make him clean all my gear and make sure it is spotless, and lecture the mascot on the dangers of messing with my gear!! I would also make him write lines like bart simpson on the chalkboard, so he even tells himself and everyone else that he will not do it ever again!

KenitohMenara · 08-13-2023, 05:47 PM

As Okada walked through his locker room and found his equipment covered up by a quite frankly excessive amount of duck tape, he immediately inquired as to who had actually done this. Some investigation and chatting with the social media account managers revealed that it was the Anchorage Mascot that was behind this prank. Normally Kazu would let this slide and go on with his day but he was inspired by this little prank with something of his own. When the mascot was next at the rink, he would find a special briefcase in his office. When opened there was a private letter from Kazu saying that he really enjoyed the prank and thought that it was worth a million bucks, which is what Kazu provided in the briefcase...

wait what?

Sure enough there was money in the briefcase but when the mascot tried to buy stuff from the team store with it, it was only then that any close attention was provided to the notes in the case... which all had Kazu's name on it. He is the rainmaker after all, everything he does is money

Thunfish · 08-13-2023, 05:53 PM

SSL Affiliate

Leoben · 08-13-2023, 06:09 PM

Creative Prompt

The key to playing sports against larger species is to find their weakness. In this case, we could douse them with liquid or vent some chemical into the arena that might weaken them or make them hallucinate. If none of those ideas work we would have to make up fake rules to the game that we forgot to tell them about. Perhaps we put mines in the rink or have the fans shoot photon lasers at them. There are tons of ways to take advantage of alien species and use their ignorance to our advantage. We could say they have to play a man down because they're bigger or that they have to share one stick between them because they're the visiting side. If all else fails we can just say that they have to play with a smaller goal or just rig their skates to fall apart. The possibilities are endless but I'm getting overwhelmed thinking about them.

Jumbobone19 · 08-13-2023, 06:30 PM

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Username: Jumbo

MrPrime · 08-13-2023, 06:34 PM

First of all, I love the idea that the movie Goon was referenced considering who I use to represent my player. This is something that I will work to my advantage as perhaps the opposing team will think I am actually Doug Glatt and having seen BOTH movies myself I know what they are about. But there is a different movie out there, one that I will show my team and will tell them to learn from: Slap Shot! The first one especially which is a superior movie than both Goons combined. I will teach them all about the Hanson Brothers and what they bring to the ice each time they get a chance to hop on it. My team is made of small players but I will train them to play big and also use their size to their advantage to weasel around the opposition and do it with speed and swiftness.

High Stick King · 08-13-2023, 06:52 PM

Quote:Written Task: You enter your stall one morning before an early practice and find your gear all wrapped in unholy amounts of duct tape. Nothing was actually damaged, and your coach doesn't acknowledge your lateness in getting on the ice, beyond trying not to smile. A brief investigation of your team's Xitter feed reveals the mascot as the culprit.

How do you get back at your mascot? Remember, this is a prank duel to drive social media engagement! Don't hurt your mascot or permanently prevent them from doing their job!

After seeing all his gear taped together, Jarrow immediately knew who the culprit was. The mascot!!! The two have had an intense rivalry ever since Jarrow's first day with the team when he went to give Stardust a high five but the mascot pulled the "too slow" move on Jarrow and left him hanging.

Knowing full well that Stardust was sitting back somewhere laughing his fur off, Jarrow planned his revenge as he balled the tape up as he removed it from his gear while playing it off as fun.

With the prank still fresh in his mind, Jarrow snuck from the locker room before the next game and found where the mascot kept his equipment. With a roll of scotch tape, Spack carefully took a strip of tape from the holder and placed it along the edges of the mascot's skates, removing any overhanging tape so that it isn't visible. Carefully placing the skates back where he found them, leaving without any evidence.

Spack went back to his normal business of getting ready for the game. As the first period ended and the players started heading back to the locker rooms, Spack motioned to the players sitting near him to stick around and watch. Soon the big door on the end of the ice opened and the zamboni came out and right behind it was the mascot. Stardust happily waving to the crowd as he jogs on the ice. With a little hop from the arena floor to the ice surface, Stardust plants his right skate only to find absolutely no traction. The tape did its job and Stardust drops like a sack of potatoes. The crowd erupts in laughter and the Aurora players who stayed behind begin to howl as the mascot struggles on the ice to get up but can't seem to find any footing and is wiggling around like a fish.

The prank worked. The incident managed to hit all the sports shows that night and was trending all over social media for the next 2 days.

sakrosankt · 08-13-2023, 07:52 PM

ISFL affiliate

***EmoLeBron*** · 08-13-2023, 08:04 PM

Luckily Mit grew up watching Space Jam every Saturday night, so he was made for this game. First, we need a "Mikes Stuff" drink that turns us into superior athletes. Obviously, we don't want Jordan's hockey skills so we will have to devise a plan to get into Gretzky's Stuff and drink a whole gallon of it. Maybe the Aliens already have some amazing technology we can use to our benefit. They did just travel across light years so they will have to have some sort of crazy shit we can use on the ice. Honestly, it will probably be pretty easy to win if they didn't know anything about hockey, unless of course, THEY get the Gretzky stuff first. then we are screwed. But they wouldn't even understand the concept of scoring a goal so they may start with no goalie, and we would just get a ton of ENG... this is going to be a cakewalk.

echlyrica · 08-13-2023, 08:05 PM

Prompt: Aliens Among us

Crystal is well known as being a physical player. So when she had to try and formulate a strategy to beat a team with a notable size advantage who loved fighting, she turned to the best sources she had: her teammates. Crystal consulted the leading scorers on the Knights, asking Webb and Kaliyev how to teach a team agility and grace over pure physical power.

With the assistance of her teammates, Crystal was able to help her extraterrestrial friends learn to fly around the ice, dodging the checks of the much larger Starris. Alomg the way, Crystal even picked up some new skills. But Crystal had taught them a thing or two, too. When her friends were unable to avoid being checked, Crystal had taught them mental and physical toughness techniques to get back up and keep playing.

With the tutelage of the Knights as a team, the ETs were able to win the series in 4. The galaxy rejoiced at the embarrassment of the Star Empire, and Crystal got blasted on alien booze.

***Ragnar*** · 08-13-2023, 08:41 PM

Well first of all, those other aliens are big and strong and think that hitting and fighting is the only way to win, but holy shit are they dumb as a box of fucking stupid things and they are primitive as hell (even though they have mastered interstellar travel, ignore the paradoxes here this is just a SHL point task so relax). What we will do is simply out smart them. They'll come flying in and try a big check, we will just use our alien allies' special projection guns to make the other aliens think they're hitting a player when really there's nothing there. They'll go careening into the boards and possibly injure themselves. Then we will go straight to the other end of the ice and juke the shit out of the massive alien goalie and make them look stupid. It's probably going to cause an intergalactic war that will either leave humanity extinct or enslaved, but at this point who really gives a shit?

Sigs by Me, Merica, High Stick King, Rum_Ham, Jess, vulfzilla, enigmatic, and Carpy

❤!! RIP to the big homies 701 and Mac !!❤

***JustAnotherHockeyFan*** · 08-13-2023, 08:43 PM

Pt pass

brocksamson · 08-13-2023, 09:00 PM

General-Khagan Kul'Garath of the Sarris Star Empirs has prepared his players well. Goon is fantastic preparation for a hockey game. Ross 'The Boss' Rhea and Doug 'The Thug' Glatt play hockey as it is meant to be played: violently. Fortunately for you, maggots, I know how to prepare you even better! We will be watching Bloodsport, starring Jean Claude Van Damme as Frank Dux. Are Ross 'The Boss' Rhea and Doug 'The Thug' Glatt fantastic fighters in the world of hockey? Absolutely, undeniable. Are they capable of winning a kumite? Not a chance. But who can win a Kumite? Frank Dux can. He can take out Chong Li, even after the nefarious former champion throws sand in his eyes. In hockey, there isn't even sand! How can General-Khagan Kul'Garath of the Sarris Star Empire think his tea stands a chance against a team prepped and practiced on the martial sciences learned in blood sport? He can't!

Slappydoodle · 08-13-2023, 09:04 PM

When Walt "Clyde" Frazier entered the locker room and saw everything in his stall had been tampered with, a cold chill ran down his back. The aura of darkness and doom that pervaded the space could only mean one thing. His locker had been visited by the Angel of Death itself.

Everyone knows the Specters mascot is the very embodiment of death, sometimes known as the grim reaper. A visit from this icy specter is rarely a good thing . Clyde was, therefore, a little shaken up initially by this dark visitation.

After bringing in a priest, a rabbi, an imam and a local voodoo queen to bless and sanctify the entire locker room, Walt ruminated long and hard on a plan of action. How does one fight against the harvester of souls?

Eventually Walt came to the conclusion that the only way to fight death is with life. And Clyde Frazier knows the best way to celebrate and embrace life is with a good old fashioned orgy.

So it was that immediately after practice Walt made it back to the locker room first, turned the lights down low, laid out some throw pillows and plush, area rugs, put Barry White on the stereo and started heating up the baby oil. Let's just say the team fully bonded that evening, life was celebrated and the grim reaper was forced to reap his dark crops elsewhere.

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