Toasty wanted nothing to do with his new pals but warmed up to the crew. They actually seemed interested in him and learning the game so he took them under his wing. They were seemingly picking things up fairly quickly which surprised Toasty. He wasn't as surprised when the team received their challenge from the gigantic race. Toasty's alien pals were sending messages back to the galactic space reporting their findings and fascinations with the game and mentioned all of the media the other media races could consume to learn the game while far away from Earth. Knowing that they were preparing by watching Goon was going to propose quite the challenge with Toasty's pals being a little on the lighter side of things. Thankfully with the travel time to get to Earth for the game was going to take them awhile and Toasty could focus on teaching his pals a speedier game that way they will be able to skate all around the bigger race. Let's see how that game goes!
In order to battle the Sarris Star Empire, I would use our relative size disadvantage to our advantage. Just like how Michael Jordan’s team was able to beat the Monstars using their quickness to overcome the bumbling legs of their opponents, I would play a little more small ball, depending on quick passes and not trying to bludgeon the opponent to death. I would be aggressive and take advantage of every shooting chance we can get, knowing it would be difficult to get another opportunity. In addition, I would trip up the opponents’ legs and make it seem like the opponent had trouble getting traction. I would teach the goalie to become even more ensconced to the goal to avoid the opponent from simply overpowering their way to goals. I would use the fact that they probably don’t understand our native language to confuse them into not understanding our playcall, hopefully allowing us to skate right past them for easy goals.
Ok, so me and the inferno are teaching these guys how to play hockey. @hotdog the eko eel is giving lessons on how to pee properly between periods as to not get in trouble. @goldenglutes Binko is telling the aliens who is sus on the ice and who is not. @Jepox is just old and talks about retirement all day to the aliens, and they wish to be retired as well after the game. Personnally, I tell them about the most important hockey move. The slapshot. Only glorious goals from a slapshot can count as 3 pointers and as such they are the prefered tactic to use. They can also use their antenas to mind control the other goalie into letting an easy softie. I bet if we were to play aliens they would suck because their slimy bodies would stick to the ice cold ice and they would hate it very much. We would also win the cup.
Well, it’s pretty simple. The opposing extraterrestrial opponents will think that hitting and be agressive will lead them to victory. I’ll tell my team that it’s with passion and real effort that you win. You cannot win if you do not give your 100% percent every time you’re on the ice. Also it is not because they are smaller that they will be crushed. I’ll teach them that with their speed and agility they will be able to skate around their opponents as they are way slower than them. I’ll also try to beat the opposing coach with better change ups. I’ll call my change ups and put my best players when their terrible players will be on the ice and I’ll make quick change ups as the opposing team will not be able to keep track of who’s on the ice. Oh and the best part is that I will ask my team to trash talk as much as they can.
David-Arturri Donskoi Regina Elk
Hey I'm DAD can I adopt you?
John Brown, now having taught the aliens how to play hockey, now must find a way to command and lead these people. Such a feat has John Brown faced before, and in the past he relied upon his conviction to bring his people together. This means that John Brown must find within himself a devout sense of purpose and use that sense to create some awe-inspiring and truly dramatically relatable speeches. These speeches must be impassioned and spoken truly from the heart. This way people know that you're in this 100% and they'll want to follow you as such. All the team needs is one big speech that truly unites them, and builds camaraderie & friendship. Thus, the team can use the power of friendship to win all their battles. It is an absolutely foolproof plan because everyone wins when you use the power of friendship, and friendship is unbeatable! Take that, space aliens!
If all the aliens had seen to this point is goon on repeat, I think we need to throw them off what the game of hockey is supposed to be to them. They see a world of scraps all over the place, and gentleman's agreements to drop the mitts. First and foremost, the team will be coached not to engage them. No sense getting j to and then losing a fight with someone much bigger
Since they are just learning the game, we will be able to use superior skating ability to get around. Using our speed will be important, but they'll be looking for the big hit the whole time as well. It'll be important to pass the puck quickly and keep them guessing and on the back door. If they start trying to lay too many hits, they'll get nailed left and right with interference penalties, giving us a great advantage
Written Task: The aliens have learned the game thanks to your tutelage, but have now been challenged to a playoff series by General-Khagan Kul'Garath of the Sarris Star Empire. Your team will, perhaps obviously, be at a size disadvantage, but you're very sure the Sarris players have never had a real coach and just watched the movie Goon several hundred times. How will you coach your plucky undersized extraterrestrial friends to victory?
Well what we lack in size we make up for in skill, if they want to play with 5 goons on the ice then let them. Players that only care about beating people up well that leaves more open ice for our players to do their thing. Not only that but we'll have the man advantage more time then not. We are better coached and better player, if we go out and play if no fear then General-Khagan Kul'Garath's team won't have a chance. As long as we keep our heads this game is as good as ours. Although one thing is concerning if we beat a general from an empire what happens to us, my planet or the planets of the aliens I coach. The real question is does a win for us mean we lose everything and start a galactic civil war? We have the better team but does that even matter?
Rest In Peace Dangel
1st SHL Goal - S52 Game 1 vs Tampa 3. New England Wolfpack , Jakub Bruchevski 1 (Eko Van Otter 1, Delver Fudgeson 2) at 8:10
You enter your stall one morning before an early practice and find your gear all wrapped in unholy amounts of duct tape. Nothing was actually damaged, and your coach doesn't acknowledge your lateness in getting on the ice, beyond trying not to smile. A brief investigation of your team's Xitter feed reveals the mascot as the culprit.
How do you get back at your mascot? Remember, this is a prank duel to drive social media engagement! Don't hurt your mascot or permanently prevent them from doing their job!
Initially I have to admit that I was seeing more red than the Falcons home locker room. As a hippopotamus I already have plenty of issues getting into hockey pads. Not having any opposable thumbs also puts a damper on the whole "how the fuck am I gonna get my gear out of the duct tape." So, with all that in mind my counter is going to be slightly more than a minor inconvenience for our dear dear mascot. Falcons are creatures of the air and phase one of our plan is more than just a grounding. I'm gonna sign them up to do the dunk tank at a local school fair. Once he's all waterlogged and that mascot outfit weighs an extra 50 pounds the real fun starts. The end of this fair is going to have a charity 5k run and our mascot will lead the charge. The final stage of my petty revenge? We have a home game that night after all this nice exhausting community outreach.
that evil otter mascot keeps pranging me, i must get back at him! while the otter was sleeping, i snuck up on him and shaved all of his hair so he became a bald bare naked otter. but the joke wound up being on me as the otter (eko van otter btw) realized that, as slick as otter fur naturally is in a natural otter environment, a bald bare nude naked otter winds up being slick as hell in a lubed up ice rink environment, for which the atlanta mascot is known. he also then pranged me back by gathering and applying hair to me (i am an eel so naturally hairless) i think he gathered the hair from the cheeks of golden glutes' golden glutes @goldenglutes and also micool's also hair buttocks @micool132. this war of prang certainly drove engagement with the teams' social media accounts although it made it much harder to skate around on the ice with a bunch of hair on the typically bald and smooth eel body
Well, it is clear to me that my band of merry extra terrestrial hockey players will have to use our speed and size to our advantage. We may not be as big as these other monsters coming in with their challenge but we can certainly out skate them and move around them quicker. These guys are gonna be big and slow and not very skilled so my team needs to use that to our advantage and skate circle around them. Get to those loose pucks first, quick passes so they don't have time to react ( and because they're so big and slow they will be very slow to react anyways). Now their goaltending will be their strength, as their goalie will be filling up the entire net. we will really need to get him moving laterally so that we can find openings to shoot from. As well when they do get the puck, it will be very difficult to get it off them and they'll have very hard shots that hopefully arent too accurate so we will have to work as a team to get the pucks off them quickly.
So our mascot decided to play a prank on myself huh. Well, don't worry I have a plan already thought out to get back at them. So, my first thought of how to get revenge is to do something with a laxative and make them be either super late to the game or practice, or just all together make them miss, but I think that is a little too much. So, I decided to take a little trip to the internet and start looking up a thing that is known as "liquid ass". For those who do not know what that is, it is a spray that smells as the title describes it as. Yes, it is supposed to smell like ass but in a liquid form. When seeing this I thought this was the utmost perfect time to get my revenge so I placed the order. Once it came in I just had to make it to the mascot outfit area and sneak only a few sprays in the head piece and that is all. Seeing the reaction and freaking out I could not hide my laughter from bursting when I saw them running out to the ice and scream "who fucking did this?" Let's just say that smell lasted a while, even after washing.... Don't mess with Aksel in pranks...