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S77 PT #1: Guilty On All Counts
Due: Sunday, June 16th @ 11:59 PM PST
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Pyro182Player Progression Director Resident Gobbo
PT Pass
![[Image: pyro182.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/pyro182.gif) Thank you hewasajazzman, Slothfacekilla, Sulo, Frenchie, and Raymond for the sigs 
AephinoSMJHL GM "king" of the SHL
Option 1: Zedward was shocked to be included in this discussion, but he was honored and determined to make the most of this opportunity. Zedward thought long and hard about the overall sport of hockey, as he grew up playing it his whole life, but was about to say there was literally nothing he would add or change to the rulebook. That is until he remembered that he now plays in the SHL. In other leagues, and when he was younger, Zedward never would have imagined the SHL had such a big problem with... well... it's hard for Zedward to describe. The best Zedward can articulate is "when players jump around and repeat what they just did before, as if it is a time loop or time glitch." The rulebook committee is fascinated by this and Zedward shows some examples. Zedward points out past video clips of players seemingly shooting the puck, retrieving the puck instantaneously, and shooting it again. Zedward believes this is a clear violation and needs to be awarded a 2 minute minor for.... whatever it's called. The rulebook committee decides to give this a name of "Glitching Penalty."
![[Image: 5yBVV1C.jpeg]](https://i.imgur.com/5yBVV1C.jpeg)
AceSHL GM Chief Chicken Officer
Written Option 2 – 152 Words
When Pohler Beargeron is assessed a penalty, even if it is justified, he enrages. He roars with a beastial vigor, and slams his gigantic paws on the ice, clawing up the ice surface. He charges at the official, stopping only an inch away from their face, with his toothy maw bared. Droplets of saliva fly out of his mouth as he roars, intimidating the officials. However, they do not waver, and Beargeron mopes his way to the box where he can barely fit. When Beargeron gets back onto the ice, he sprints as hard as he can to get back to the bench, snarling at the striped referee as he goes past. Beargeron makes sure every time when he is on the ice afterward that the official knows that he doesn’t agree with their assessment and interpretation of the rules. He usually gets the benefit of the calls after these occasions occur.  ![[Image: 1n0REYx.png]](https://i.imgur.com/1n0REYx.png) RIP Dangel. See you on the other side, brother
By-TorWinnipeg Aurora Jack of All Trades
Option 2:
Beck is happy when he gets put in the penalty box and tries to do it as much as possible, because the easiest award to win in the SHL is the Turd Ferguson. Imagine, a player, like Beck, wins 8 Fergusons over his career. Is that HOF worthy??? I'd say so, because what is fame but prolonged recognition for an achievement. Besides the personal journey, oftentimes when he is in the box it is because he was standing up for a teammate or fighting some slug on the other team. There are no bad penalties when you do everything with vicious intent. "Getting your money's worth" as they say is a noble goal. But alas, while he dreams about these lofty heights, he will forever be tied to the randomness of FHM penalties and live by the whim of the sim. Hm... "Whim of the Sim" sound like a great title for another article or rage piece. ![[Image: DqlVneu.png]](https://i.imgur.com/DqlVneu.png) ![[Image: FVlMRDN.png]](https://i.imgur.com/FVlMRDN.png) ![[Image: q30YniK.png]](https://i.imgur.com/q30YniK.png) ![[Image: augr5GV.jpeg]](https://i.imgur.com/augr5GV.jpeg) Credit to enigmatic, Merica, tweedledunn, and jaypc8237 for sigs
No GoalDonators Donated
written 2:
Brayden Point like almost everyone else can get angry on the ice especially if the penalty was an unfair call. He knows that the coaches and the players with a C and A on the jersey will back him up and try to get him out of the box where possible or at the very least prevent future calls on the same play by talking to the refs. Brayden Point might show a bit of anger (on rare situations - more common when in high school league he has even broken a stick) due to being passionate but ultimately gets into the box with no issues. Brayden Point then focuses on his breathing for a minute and will even close his eyes while counting to 60. He asks the box baron to let him know when there is 30 seconds left although he is already aware just to be safe. Once the door opens up Brayden channels his energy back into his performance and skates with a goal of sending any remaining emotion into the back of the enemies net and score. Nothing calms the nerves more than scoring!  Hockey fan for life. I pack the heat and score the goals!  ![[Image: Point_Celly-13020730.gif]](https://media.nhl.com/site/asset/public/images/2022/05/Point_Celly-13020730.gif)
MN_MooseyRegistered Senior Member
option 2:
Julian getting sent to the box is not a great scene for the team. As the top penalty killing forward, him not being on the ice really sucks and very likely will lead to a goal. It is not as bad as losing your best defender, but winning those faceoffs are key to getting possession and clearing the zone. He wears a letter so his composure is always tested. There may be some arguing with the official as they skate to the door. Getting into the box he smacks the butt end of the stick against the floor as he takes a seat. I imagine he sits in the sin bin on the edge of the bench just nervous as all hell watching the team get run around in the defensive zone. He likely talks to himself as if he is coaching the group from the box and might get frustrated and slam his stick a few times when the opponent gets good looks. (164) ![[Image: 3MtyuZk.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/3MtyuZk.gif) ![[Image: dAxJaBU.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/dAxJaBU.gif)
JohnFranklinKennedyIIHF Federation Head IIHF GM
(Prompt 1)
So one of the biggest things I think this league needs is more ways to spend money. What's the point of balling if I can't even use it to gain an advantage over poor players? So I suggest we allow people to buy power plays during the game, or we can reframe this as kind of a tax thing, where every time a player gets on the ice they have to give the SHL government some money, and if they can't pay up they go to jail (penalty box) to serve a 2 minute minor for being poor/tax evasion. I think this would be a really good idea because personally I just don't want to play with poor people and also I could get involved in an SHL money laundering scheme with the SHL government so that some of the ice tax money gets put straight into my bank account. I also think it would be fun to give people with certain SHL jobs "Tax passes" where they don't have to pay it anymore as long as they have a high enough salary.
BonkRegistered S25, S37 Challenge Cup Champion and a pretty pretty princess
2. Are you kidding me I got a penalty for that? Great. What am I going to eat for dinner tonight? Chicken parm sounds good but Walt is having that barbeque that could be good. Although then I have to get dressed up to get to his standards but it will have good food. On his dime which is a nice bonus, but I better bring something. What should bring? I should bring strippers; he would love that. Not sure how that would go over with everyone else. Okay no strippers. He is going to have steaks, burgers and dogs. I know he will have beer and his full bar going, so booze is out. Potato salad, no my potato salad sucks plus I am going to be too lazy to make that. Maybe I should just order take out, but I do not know what I would want to get. Maybe I should just head to Walt’s.
Words~157 ![[Image: bonk.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/bonk.gif) Sigs by @FlappyGiraffe, @Steelhead77, @ToeDragon84, @slothfacekilla, @Wasty and other dude I need to find your name Lil' Manius Big Manius
CaptainCamelRegistered Posting Freak
Option 2:
Early in Paul Bondage's career, he was an absolute hot head when it came to being called for penalties. While he never said anything egregious (Looking at a certain Carolina Hurricanes defenseman...), he definitely did his fair share of shit talking the refs, earning a couple game misconducts and ejections. Thankfully, he grew up and left those days of his in pee wee hockey. Now, he still gets the urge to do his shit talking, and may even let some of it out in some very close and intense games, but for the most part, he just gives a sigh, a shake of the head and sits there quietly. He has learned to reflect on why he got the penalty called on him and how to prevent it from occurring in the future. He knows he can't be any help to his team while he is sitting in the box for two minutes, so the only thing to do is to shake it off and be better, get back on the ice and help your team. WC: 178 ![[Image: lPQWyve.png?ex=662bf46d&is=66197f6d&hm=a...dd3527ca4&]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/848017673455009802/1228413720418455642/lPQWyve.png?ex=662bf46d&is=66197f6d&hm=a276e983d30013cdfefeed8329ba7396323096e372520bdbba21bf2dd3527ca4&)
hockeyfanSimmer gnomes are our future
2. (DO NOT STEAL)
I’ll tell you one thing, but Ace Lightning is a very petty man. Much like Corey Perry, he will stand at the door of the penalty box after getting called for an infraction and demand to know what he’s being called for. It doesn’t matter if it’s an obvious hook or trip or a bad call made by an official, Lightning will stand there annoyingly until the referee makes the official call to the crowd. Once he announces it, Lightning will laugh comically, throw down his gloves and stick and cross his arms in an annoyed pose for the two minutes (or less). Once he’s out of the box, he will go up to every teammate and opposition player and say something along the lines of, man, did you see that call on me? Complete junior level stuff. His attempt for sympathy on both sides usually fail and then all of a sudden he’s in the box again.
bluesfan55IIHF Federation Head Too young for this shit
prompt 2
sebastien regazzoni usually doesn't react too much when penalized. usually it's the right call and he did something wrong, so he accepts his penalty and goes to the box. it's a good way to clear your head, recover a little bit, and take in the game. but if it's a call that most would consider to be bullshit, then regazzoni is all in the referee's face. he's known for being a bit yappy on the ice and deals out a chirp or two, so if the ref makes a bad call on him, he's sure to let the ref hear it. however, that's usually not the case in the shl. refereeing hasn't been as bad as it is in other leagues so most of the calls are pretty reasonable, which leads regazzoni to be pretty accepting when a penalty is called on him; he just skates to the box.
puolivalmistePlayer Progression Director Posting Freak
Prompt 1:
Adding some very arbitrary penalties is absolutely the best way to get more power play opportunities during the games. So we need to add a penalty for mauling the puck. And now you are asking what that means. With all new technology we can already track many things about the puck and players but for this we need to keep track of the force that puck is hit with. Set it so that any reasonable strong shot, like even a wrister lights up some sensor that means that whoever last hit the puck is getting a minor penalty for mauling the puck, but like current rules the penalty only gets called once team gets the puck back or it goes to the goal. So you need to get very tactical about hard shots, passes or even dumping the puck and we would likely see very flexible teams sizes all through the game with lot more 3on3 and 4on4 than we have at the moment.
WearingabearRegistered Posting Freak
For this newest season, of the Simulation Hockey League, Season 77. Ubba Lodbrok, 2nd year player for the Philadelphia Forge, has been tapped, along with seemingly every other player in the league, to come up with a new penalty to help build more scoring chances and make things a little more interesting. The secret to this penalty is to make things interesting, but not too interesting, but yet, we also need something to help bring in sponsorships. So, we're callilng this the Thrill Call. The penalty is for when a player charges towards a player but does not finish the check. The penalty is not only two minutes in the box, but the player must also smash a glizzy while in the box. The player must finish the glizzy before he skates on the ice again. So if the opposing team scores within 2 seconds of the penalty starting, the player must finish the dog before going back on the play. In adverse, if the player waits until the last few seconds of the penalty, he must eat two, and again, must finish the dogs before jumping on the ice.
![[Image: unknown.png]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/324331891547176961/851889728176521246/unknown.png) ![[Image: wearingabear.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/wearingabear.gif) render cred: @rum_ham, @Rangerjase @Ragnar @supertardis101 @Jogurtaa @Drokeep @evilallbran @Carpy48 @enigmatic Player Page | Update Page   
MuertoRegistered S15, S16, S24, S34, S38 Challenge Cup Champion
Written Option 2
AT-AT is no stranger to the penalty box. Last season he led the Grizzlies in PIMs and this season is starting out the same. He is an aggressive player who isn't afraid to get dirty, woe betide any opposing forward who ventures into the grind with him as they are likely to get some lumber or an elbow to the face. He somehow though is always shocked whenever a penalty is called, giving the refs a look of incredulity and a "Who, me?" act. But he knows he deserved it. This season he was so excited that he finally got someone to fight him, but sadly that rookie got the takedown and the win, so now he needs more fights. He's on a first name basis with the timekeepers in Grizzly arena, he spends so much time there that you'd think he had stocks! He's never going to change though, it's the only way he knows how to play and it's got him this far so why change now? The Grizzly PK is pretty bad though so the coaches tell him to ease up but it' just so satisfying seeing the opposing players look up in fear when he's coming in for a hit! ![[Image: dZqcwmW.jpg?format=webp&width=710&height=473]](https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/fiy5uVMPs6-wmjqg9c_CtnU1EL5AtG9gtu82CXkeurY/https/i.imgur.com/dZqcwmW.jpg?format=webp&width=710&height=473)  S76 SMJHL DRAFT 3RD OVERALL PICK  S77 SHL DRAFT 4TH OVERALL PICK  IIHF TEAM NORWAY
CementHandsRegistered Posting Freak
Oh the obscenities coming from my mouth are relentless and disturbing. Some people might think that it just pisses off the referees and they view the team a bit harsher, but Nathaniel firmly believes they know what's coming when they put him in the box and they want to avoid it. Especially if it is some kind of BS that has been going on throughout the game and isn't called each and every time. After the game or in between whistles, Nathaniel gets along great with the stripes, even cracking jokes, but if he gets called a weak one you better assume that his top is flying off. The fans love it as well. People in Philadelphia like to yell, so this gives them a great opportunity to do so, and on the road fans like to jeer at the whiny baby in the box. At the end of the day we are paid to preform, and the show must go on.
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