The following is a transcript of a recorded interview between SMJHL reporter Randy Dicknose and Detroit Falcons winger Kevin Marks during Marks' rookie season. The interview was never made public. Dicknose went missing the following off season.

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Wednesday night we sat down with the Falcons rookie winger, Kevin Marks, following a shootout loss to the Montreal Militia. Marks hasn't hit his stride yet i the SMJHL, only registering 1 goal in his first 12 games. Hailed for his passing and 200 foot game in before the draft, Marks has yet to register an assist, and has hardly made a defensive impact for the Falcons.

Randy Dicknose: Great to see you again Mr. Marks, thanks for agreeing to this interview. Great game tonight, tough loss for the Falcons though. How do mentally relax after a loss and prepare for the next game?

Kevin Marks: Well the first thing I do after every game, win or lose, is roll a fatty blunt with the boys.
RD: Kevin you're not in Vancouver anymore, that's not legal here in Detroit.

KM: What? Sheit isn't this Michigan? Don't we have medical or something? I can't keep up with the damn weed laws in this country, all I know is after you've been laid out on the ice for 3 straight periods the best feeling is lighting up.

RD: Well aint that something. Moving on, what is your go to off season activity?

KM: Well generally after the season ends me and a couple buddies from the juniors take a vacation to this island between the Maldives and Madagascar. My neighbor growing up was this friendly old guy, made a buck off of the coal industry back in the 70's. He was really into hunting and got himself a private island he could vacation to and hunt undisturbed. Well he's a lot older now, and he hasn't made the trip out to the island in several years. He lets us use it during the off season to relax and unwind.

RD: Do you do any hunting while you're there?

KM: Yeah, back in the day we did quite a bit. However there's only so many different animals on the island, and it gets pretty boring after a while. Our neighbor brought in some species' at some point to liven things up, but its still not much of a challenge.

RD: That sounds a bit unnatural and brutal.

KM: Eh, that's a pretty narrow viewpoint. As long as the ecosystem remains unaffected, we aren't really harming nature. Just participating in it. We aren't killing with guns, we use spears, arrows, and traps. We give our prey a fighting chance. What fun is just aiming and pulling a trigger for a kill? There's no challenge, no rush. We always look for ways to challenge ourselves, usually by putting restrictions on a hunt, or using a specific inefficient method. We are actually looking for a 5th person to help us a pull off a particularly difficult hunt. *Kmarko gives a slight nod toward Dicknose*

RD: Errrr... was that an invitation? Seems a little brutal for me, not really my lane.

KM: Come on Randy... a free vacation to a tropical island with some future star hockey players? All expenses paid? This is a no-brainer. We usually only do one hunt per trip anyway, and spend the rest of our time relaxing on the beach. We could really use your help.

RD: Eh why the hell not, sounds like a blast. What will we be hunting?

KM: The most dangerous game.

RD: Humans?!?

KM: Randy chill out, I'm just fucking with you. What kind of savages do you think we are? The only things I snipe are gorillas and top shelf.

RD: Huehuehue, well aren't you a charmer. You've convinced me, can't wait for next summer!

End transcript