Bonus: Ludwig Koch Schroder and Jon Ross

Task 2:

Hello SHL faithful,

We are writing this letter today after certain events have caused outrage within the community and have made us take a serious look at the actions of Crossfit Jesus off the ice. Crossfit has been found to repeatedly been found to be taking baths in the nude in a public fountain. When asked for a comment on it, he noted that he found the stream of the fountain was much better for washing away the  dirt after a hard game. He was originally found by a group of scandalized Japanese tourists, who also have brought us reams of photographic evidence, such as the photo below.



While this is certainly conduct unbecoming of the league, we realize that an important series needs to be played. In order to allow him to play, and get some punishment for his deeds, Mr. Jesus will be required to play all Challenge Cup games fully nude.

Task 3 Interview:

Do you have any special pre-game rituals?

My girlfriend Sasha Banks is my lucky charm, so I get a phone call or video call in before I listen to some beats depending on the day. Thursday or Friday is the Throwbacks while the New School stuff is the rest of the days for Game days.

What advantage do you think your team has going into this series?

Veteran experience, we have guys/girls including myself who have winning experience and know what it takes to win it all, while WKP has done it once and looks to do it again.

What do you think your role on the team is going into this series?

Putting up points up on the board and staying away from the penalty box like I've been fortunate to in the Regular Season.(edited)

Task 5:

- Who is the favorite and who is the underdog of this series and why?

The Jets are coming in after a very strong season, putting them firmly in the place of the favourite for the series.  They were the top team in the league coming into playoffs and have put a strong run together since. Meanwhile, West Kendall are clearly the underdogs. They limped into playoffs with just 49 points. They have the potential for an upset due to the way they’ve been playing, but this is going to be a very tough series for the West Kendall team.

- Which organization needs this championship more in terms of legacy?

West Kendall is going to be fighting hard to try and bring home the challenge cup against a strong Winnipeg Jets team. This isn’t the first time they’ve met in the finals, and it comes with a weight of struggles against the Jets for West Kendall. To build their legacy further, West Kendall will need to shake this monkey off their back and show one of the other original teams that they can contend, and send them home sans trophy.

- What young player has a chance to make a name for themself in this series?

Troy McClure III is coming in after a strong rookie campaign and is quickly cementing himself as a strong member of the Defensive Core for Winnipeg. He stands to have a breakout playoffs after the ways he’s improved through the season. He’ll continue to show that he was a great pick for the Jets, and will really earn a place in the series that isn’t exactly expected out of a rookie player.

Task 8:

The Gary Grease Trap Burger



A beautiful Alberta grade C beef pattie atop a buttered and toasted white bun. Topped with carmelized onions, melted cheese, canadian bacon, some lettuce for flow, and of course, more grease poured atop it than you can handle. Rumor has it that the legend himself eats three of these a day to keep himself strong.

John Langabeer battered fish n chips



A batter made with the SHL HO beer flour, garlic powder, paprika, salt, pepper coated over some fresh atlantic cod and deep friend until all the healthy bits are gone. Sweet potato fries with a curry mayo deep to help you feel as if you're eating healthy when, in fact, you're eating enough calories to sustain an elephant.


Task 9:

The clock is ticking, and everyone around me is scrambling like a chiken with their heads cut off. What do I have to say though? “No Katy Perry, no problem”. The San Francisco Pride prospects are up to the task! Have you ever wanted to see your favourite Pride players perform as a boy band? No? Well SHL, you’re going to see it anyway. Just picture how enthralled you’ll be right now. King in an unbuttoned dress shirt billowing due to wind from who knows where, Luke in some bootie shorts, and yours truly with some beautiful blonde hair in an unfortunate style. Now, I know what you’re thinking, and I’ll cut you off and answer right away. This won’t be expensive at all we will generously be donating our services for free. This will be a great opportunity for the league to take on a whole new art form, and really see that their players can be multi-talented. We can use this to expand the league into not just a hockey league, but a multi-faceted media conglomerate taking over all corners of the world!
Please see the intended look below:



It is my theory that this will increase female viewership in the SHL at least 10 fold.