12-18-2018, 09:19 PMNereus Wrote: There are, indeed, only two possible outcomes in this situation on behalf of SHL HO: either a surgical, precise hit, or a ridiculous, laughable miss. however, based in my observations, i believe the chances of the second option turning out to be true are fairly low, dare i say are negligible, if not absolutely nil. you affirm that you have a romantic companion who identifies as a man, am i correct? well, in that case, i could safely place a bet on the fact that he doesn't so often, if at all perform mouth-to-mouth or mouth-to-cheek contact for recreational purposes with you. if such a bet was placed, i would most certainly win it. overly loud and exaggerated noises of the kind of physical contact i described before. i can also affirm with a good certainty that this said "boyfriend" shall, in the future, cease his current search for anorther romantic companion other than you. when such a thing happens, he will settle with her, abandoning you. he is also not going to miss you a bit. i also predict that he will do the so-called "skrrt", which is no more than the sound of a vehicle's engine and tires running at full throttle, but still before such vehicle catches momentum. he is, finally, going to perform the head and arms movement popularly known as "dab", in the exact precise ways that the DJ known as "Wiz Khalifa" so often does that it became a personal trait.

D | S62 | Merlin Metzler | Newfoundland | 199 TPE

|  SMJHL Career |

  SMJHL Regular Seasons
| S61 | (GP 00) (G 00) (A 00) (P 00) (+-0) (SHT 000) (SB 00) (P/20 0.00) |

| Movement and Contracts |

| S61 | Signed with Newfoundland Bezerkers, UFA


D | S31 | Alexis Metzler | Buffalo | Detroit | USA | 2,002 TPE [R]

Captain of the Buffalo Stampede, S38-S52
Alternate Captain of the Buffalo Stampede, S34-S37
Alternate Captain of the United States of America, S38-S46
1st Ballot Hall Of Fame, S54 Class

| SHL Career |

  SHL Regular Seasons
| S32 | (GP 50) (G 09) (A 22) (P 31) ( -08) (SHT 077) (SB 073) (P/20 0.56) |
| S33 | (GP 50) (G 03) (A 21) (P 24) ( -02) (SHT 086) (SB 063) (P/20 0.41) |
| S34 | (GP 50) (G 03) (A 21) (P 24) ( -13) (SHT 077) (SB 072) (P/20 0.40) |
| S35 | (GP 50) (G 11) (A 26) (P 37) ( -05) (SHT 086) (SB 071) (P/20 0.62) |
| S36 | (GP 50) (G 09) (A 17) (P 26) ( -14) (SHT 078) (SB 096) (P/20 0.40) |
| S37 | (GP 50) (G 10) (A 31) (P 41) ( -20) (SHT 079) (SB 067) (P/20 0.62) |
| S38 | (GP 50) (G 11) (A 31) (P 42) ( -12) (SHT 120) (SB 080) (P/20 0.69) |
| S39 | (GP 50) (G 10) (A 38) (P 48) (+01) (SHT 107) (SB 083) (P/20 0.80) |
| S40 | (GP 50) (G 08) (A 24) (P 32) ( -13) (SHT 098) (SB 066) (P/20 0.54) |
| S41 | (GP 50) (G 11) (A 30) (P 41) ( -10) (SHT 093) (SB 078) (P/20 0.67) |
| S42 | (GP 50) (G 12) (A 40) (P 52) (+16) (SHT 095) (SB 068) (P/20 0.85) |
| S43 | (GP 50) (G 10) (A 34) (P 44) (+01) (SHT 093) (SB 081) (P/20 0.74) |
| S44 | (GP 50) (G 09) (A 37) (P 46) (+00) (SHT 092) (SB 070) (P/20 0.76) |
| S45 | (GP 50) (G 04) (A 32) (P 36) (+03) (SHT 088) (SB 076) (P/20 0.61) |
| S46 | (GP 50) (G 10) (A 25) (P 35) (+13) (SHT 101) (SB 077) (P/20 0.58) |
| S47 | (GP 50) (G 11) (A 28) (P 39) (+15) (SHT 087) (SB 076) (P/20 0.65) |
| S48 | (GP 50) (G 05) (A 26) (P 31) (+06) (SHT 088) (SB 101) (P/20 0.52) |
| S49 | (GP 50) (G 03) (A 25) (P 28) (+03) (SHT 060) (SB 060) (P/20 0.47) |
| S50 | (GP 50) (G 03) (A 18) (P 21) (+02) (SHT 045) (SB 056) (P/20 0.40) |
| S51 | (GP 50) (G 01) (A 10) (P 11) (+07) (SHT 026) (SB 066) (P/20 0.28) |
| S52 | (GP 50) (G 01) (A 07) (P 08) (+07) (SHT 033) (SB 049) (P/20 0.23) |

  SHL Playoffs
| S32 | (DNQ) |
| S33 | (GP 05) (G 00) (A 04) (P 04) (+02) (SHT 012) (SB 010) (P/20 0.64) |
| S34 | (DNQ) |
| S35 | (GP 04) (G 00) (A 01) (P 01) (+00) (SHT 014) (SB 005) (P/20 0.21) |
| S36 | (GP 07) (G 02) (A 04) (P 06) (+02) (SHT 016) (SB 011) (P/20 0.57) |
| S37 | (GP 07) (G 00) (A 03) (P 03) (+00) (SHT 007) (SB 018) (P/20 0.31) |
| S38 | (DNQ) |
| S39 | (DNQ) |
| S40 | (DNQ) |
| S41 | (GP 07) (G 02) (A 04) (P 06) ( -04) (SHT 014) (SB 009) (P/20 0.72) |
| S42 | (GP 07) (G 01) (A 03) (P 04) ( -06) (SHT 009) (SB 009) (P/20 0.64) |
| S43 | (GP 09) (G 02) (A 05) (P 07) ( -06) (SHT 018) (SB 014) (P/20 0.62) |
| S44 | (DNQ) |
| S45 | (DNQ) |
| S46 | (GP 17) (G 04) (A 09) (P 13) (+05) (SHT 033) (SB 020) (P/20 0.64) |
| S47 | (GP 13) (G 01) (A 05) (P 06) (+00) (SHT 018) (SB 013) (P/20 0.38) |
| S48 | (GP 22) (G 04) (A 16) (P 20) (+05) (SHT 033) (SB 022) (P/20 0.76) |
| S49 | (GP 05) (G 00) (A 00) (P 00) ( -06) (SHT 010) (SB 009) (P/20 0.00) |
| S50 | (GP 06) (G 00) (A 03) (P 03) ( -01) (SHT 007) (SB 007) (P/20 0.48) |
| S51 | (GP 08) (G 00) (A 00) (P 00) (+00) (SHT 003) (SB 006) (P/20 0.00) |
| S52 | (GP 15) (G 00) (A 00) (P 00) (+01) (SHT 015) (SB 010) (P/20 0.00) |

|  SMJHL Career |

  SMJHL Regular Seasons
| S30 | (GP 50) (G 05) (A 28) (P 32) (+13) (SHT 059) (SB 53) (P/20 0.64) |
| S31 | (GP 50) (G 10) (A 22) (P 32) ( -12) (SHT 101) (SB 74) (P/20 0.59) |

  SMJHL Playoffs
| S30 | (GP 05) (G 01) (A 02) (P 03) (+02) (SHT 010) (SB 05) (P/20 0.49) |
| S31 | (GP 13) (G 06) (A 10) (P 16) (+04) (SHT 030) (SB 16) (P/20 1.01) |

| Awards |

  Awards Won
| S34 | IIHF Gold Medal (United States of America)
| S37 | IIHF Top Defenseman
| S39 | Scott Stevens Trophy (Best Defenseman)
| S39 | SHL 1st All Stars Team
| S40 | IIHF Gold Medal (United States of America)
| S42 | Scott Stevens Trophy (Best Defenseman)
| S42 | SHL 1st All Stars Team
| S43 | SHL 3rd All Stars Team
| S44 | SHL 1st All Stars Team
| S46 | Challenge Cup Champions (Buffalo Stampede)

  Awards Nominated
| S31 | Brodie Witzel Nominee (SMJHL Playoff MVP)
| S35 | Damien Littleton Nominee (SHL Most Dedicated Player)
| S39 | Damien Littleton Nominee (SHL Most Dedicated Player)
| S41 | Damien Littleton Nominee (SHL Most Dedicated Player)
| S43 | Scott Stevens Trophy (Best Defenseman)
| S44 | Scott Stevens Trophy (Best Defenseman)

| Movement and Contracts |

| S30 | Drafted to Detroit Falcons, 15th OA
| S31 | Drafted to Portland Admirals, 13th OA
| S31 | Signed Contract, 3x $3,000,000 S31-S33 with Portland Admirals
| S31 | Traded to Buffalo Stampede for a handful of magic beans
| S33 | Signed Contract, 3x $6,000,000 S34-S36 with Buffalo Stampede
| S36 | Signed Contract, 2x $6,000,000 S37-S38 with Buffalo Stampede
| S38 | Signed Contract, 2x $7,000,000 S39-S40, plus,
| S38 | 5x $6,000,000 S41-S45 with Buffalo Stampede
| S45 | Signed Contract, 2x $5,000,000 S46-S47 with Buffalo Stampede
| S47 | Signed Contract, 1x $5,000,000 S48 with Buffalo Stampede
| S48 | Signed Contract, 2x $4,000,000 S49-S50 with Buffalo Stampede
| S50 | Signed Contract, 1x $4,000,000 S51-S52 with Buffalo Stampede

HEAD OFFICE ARE A BUNCH OF NERDS