Task 01: (Written, 3 TPE)
You are at the airport awaiting a flight to meet back up with your team after spending the day being honoured as a 'Hometown Hero' in the place where you grew up! Tell us about your day... what did they have planned for you? Who did you see there? What were you given? How did it turn out? ... In 150 words or more, tell us all about this big moment as hometown hero.

True be told, I fucking hate my home town. They are some of the most racist, homophobic, classist pieces of shit I know. The only time I go home it’s to visit my mother and even then I try to get her to meet me at my grandma’s instead. That being said, in this scenario… I went home and visited my High School. I advised the kids to work hard… but above all else get the fuck out of there before you are indoctrinated. I of course saw my mother. She’s awesome. I’m not one for big crowd’s so the rest of the day I tried to be low key. I visited the local bakery that I love. They have the most delicious peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. It’s one of the few positive parts of my home town. There is also a sausage outlet store… I definitely stopped there and picked up a bunch of jalapeno summer sausage. Lastly I took a piss on the police station/city hall and then got the hell out of dodge. Words: 177

TASK 05: (Written, 1 TPE)
7. The West Kendall Platoon are back in the finals after a season out of the playoffs and a team that was in serious regression Choose: 'No surprise', 'mild surprise', 'major surprise' or 'in shock'


No surprise. The West Kendall Platoon are essentially any “Original 6” team in the NHL. The league feels the need to always have them in the fight and will do whatever is necessary to make sure that is the case. It has been alleged that there have been some nefarious means used to ensure this, but nothing has been confirmed. Words: 60

Task 07: (Written, 3 TPE)
You have been given the responsibility of organizing the National Anthem(s) for both teams in the Challenge Cup Finals. With the entire world watching the league feels its imperative that who ever you choose really encapusates the persona of the team and their fanbase. In 150 words or more, let us know who you chose for both teams, why you believe they represent that franchise and anything notable about their performance,, IE outfits, accompaniment, etc.

Calgary is in Canada. Per Canadian law, or at least I assume is Canadian law, the person has to be Canadian. There aren’t too many Canadian’s that would be acceptable. What, fucking Chad Kroger? Celine is too good for the franchise, and Alanis is too busy with her Broadway production, so I’m going with Carly Rae Jepsen. She is criminally underrated. Her voice is phenomenal and she’s a pop princess. She represents the franchise because she is from Canada. That’s kinda their thing…you know “being from Canada”.

West Kendall is in Florida. The home of “Florida Man…” Florida a cesspool. It’s sweaty, I assume smelly, and the people are insane. This is why the perfect candidate to sing the national anthem for WKP is Flo Rida. Mostly because he’s over-hyped and not really as good as he gets credit for. Doesn’t an auto-tuned Star Spangled Banner just seem like the type of thing Florida would do? Words: 156

Task 09: (Written, 3 TPE)
Which organization that didnt make it to the finals would you consider to be the biggest disappointment? What do you think are the main reasons why they fell short this season? (Must be 150 words or more)

This is easy. The Hamilton Steelhawks. Shocker, the team I play for, right? Last season we made it to the conference finals and this year we finished in last place. That’s quite the drop off in one season. In season 47, Hamilton had 9 less wins and 9 more losses. Despite that, most of my personal stats were a slight improvement. If I had to pick a reason for why we had such a drop off… I’d have to say conspiracy. Last season WKP didn’t make the playoffs and now they are in the finals. Hamilton made it to the conference finals and finished at the bottom of the barrel. The only explanation for this is that there is a SHL wide conspiracy to promote the West Kendall Platoon. Perhaps it’s to satisfy Bojo for all the work he does for the site. Maybe there is a financial component I am unaware of. It’s hard to say, but one thing is for certain… there is something fishy going on here. Words: 170

Task 10: (Graphic, 3 TPE)
@xDParK
@Weretarantula


TASK 13: (PM'ed 3 TPE)
PMed