Thanks SDCore for the tickets! The answer is obviously Edmonton, and anybody saying they want to go for an all expenses trip to Hamilton is outrageous. Hamilton's a shithole, what are you gonna do there? Go on tours of closed down steel factories? Watch the Ti-Cats choke a Grey Cup away? Get stabbed when you go out for a night on the town at Hess Village? Seriously, re-think your decision. Nothing joyous occurs within the city limits of Hamilton, even the legendary Hamilton Golf and Country Club, home of this past year's LPGA Canadian Open, isn't in Hamilton! What kind of shit is that? Sure, the food scene is alright, and there are some nice views, like going to walk the trails around Dundurn Castle, or all the waterfalls, but Hamilton by itself is not a worthy place for an all-inclusive trip to the finals. Get SDCore to owe you one instead, it'll be much better than a trip to the Hammer. (169)

In this alternate reality, Hamilton hasn't lit the SHL on fire, climate change hasn't lit a whole fucking continent on fire, and everything is good! Passing and scoring are equally important stats, as you know, passing is a thing that works IRL and you know, should probably be a contributor to being a winning fucking hockey team in a hockey sim! in this alternate universe, we're also already using FHM6, as FHM6 is literally the only option to save the league in the current reality! Let me tell you, in this alternate reality, its fucking great! There is build diversity, passing matters, test-simming is banned, Buffalo is in the finals, and nobody is in uproar! They won the Eastern conference fair and square, while Edmonton won the Western Conference fair and square! Everybody's friends, nobody is beefing anybody but jruutu, who is still coming out with shit takes in this alternate dimension, and the league is not dying! WOO! Let's all move to that dimension! (165)

With climate change currently going ape-shit across the globe, the SHL and the Blizzard are getting together to tell climate change, first-world countries, and fossil fuel companies to fuck off. This is a spot that hits close to home for the Blizzard, as the Fort McMurray wildfires that decimated much of Alberta and many towns are fresh in their mind, and with Australia currently literally getting burned to the ground, these Canadian teams are doing their part to show that Canada is indeed the best country in the world. Also, the Blizzard are concerned as you-know, they're named after snow storms.... which may you know become a thing of the past if global warming continues. Hamilton is however, not involved. Named after the 900000 steel factories residing within Hamilton, the city of Hamilton has done its fair share of contributing to global warming through its nonstop CO2 emissions and other aerosol emissions that impact the ozone layer and contribute to the greenhouse effect. Hamilton is thus not allowed to contribute, as they'll probably just open some more closed down factories, as it's not currently against the rules to continue to spew toxic emissions in the air that ruin our planet. (200)

Hernadivic is looking forward to finding out what his Supreme Leaders, Mr. WannaBeFinn and Mr.62% himself, have in store for Hernadivic's next season. With Hernadivic making it known to Supreme Commander WBF and Supreme Leader Tomen how he feels about everything, and with Hernadivic signing a team friendly deal, it'll be interesting to see if WBF listens to their young jedi's wishes, or if they bring him up to the dark side for what is a lost season anyways (congrats HAM on your S52 cup win). Once his Supreme Leaders figure out what they're doing with their young Fish, Hernadivic is looking forward to some rule changes to mitigate the effectiveness of the all-shoot, no-pass meta currently seen across the SHL. Growing up as a playmaker, Hernadivic has seen this meta, and wonders if its all for waste? Just like the real world, the SHL is turning selfish, why share the puck when you can just shoot? Why share the wealth when the billionaires can keep it all to themselves? (170)


New GM Gibbles
jruutu is in shambles
minny in good hands

Sent.

1(3) + 2(3) + 3(3) + 5(3) + 9(1) + 18(3) = 16