1. 3 TPE

I would definitely go to Edmonton for the first 2 games. Edmonton has some hot women who wear a lot of animal prints, it’s just sexy. Also they have an amazing hotel called the Fairmont Hotel Macdonald. Anything with the word Macdonald in it has always been pretty amazing. Edmonton also has some fun things to do like visit a waterpark where the women delight in wearing less clothes then they have to the other 364 days of the year. They have trampoline parks, have you seen a pair of DD’s on a trampoline lately? Go do yourself that favor. When I am not hanging out at the rink giving the guys a hard time and waiting to see how crappy hockey is played I will also go visit Privé Ultralounge it’s a great night club where you can shit talk the other teams in fact you will see Edmonton’s star goalie there trying to score with the ladies. It’s a good watch.


5. 3 TPE

On the off season my player has a ritual it starts with about a week’s worth of sleep followed by a good 4 days of love making and then dinner at some of my favorite restaurants and socializing with my friends that I don’t get to see as much when we are playing. I will relax but only for a short time before I start my vigorous work out sessions with my private trainers. Once I feel I am ready for next season I take a short vacation with my woman and we go to some place exotic last year we went to Fiji because watching fish swim while you lay in bed is very relaxing, it’s also great as you’re receiving a massage of any kind. The people of Fiji know how to treat a superstar such as myself. When I return home I start my daily diet of spinach and Kale smoothies and steaks and vegetables for dinners.


8. 4 TPE

The best team in the SHL is Calgary.
I would love to sleep with slappy’s wife.
When we win the next Cup I will do it.
He will most likely quit Calgary.
It will probably all be well worth it.

@Slappydoodle

9. 1 TPE

When I skate on ice
my thoughts are of  Mrs. Slappy
and scoring both goals


10. 2TPE




11. 3TPE