The teams have decided to benefit the noble cause of Kids with Different Sized Feet.  While hockey is already an expensive sport, this can push it over the limit for kids that have to buy two different pairs of skates to mix and match sizes.  The charity being supported runs a program where two compatible kids are matched and swap one skate of their pair.  This means we can have two pairs of skates for two kids, instead of the original four pairs of skates for two kids.

The grand fundraiser event was called Big Skater, Little Skater and brought all of the kids together to meet their pair and play in a friendly tournament.  Just like the kid pairs were mixed and matched, so were the SHLers.  Each team in the tournament was a foursome of a kid pair and an SHL pair, one player from each team in the finals.  Money was raised primarily through betting and players buying in to the tournament, and each kid pair went home with fresh skates.


The injury bug has sidelined both of our goalies and there is no accountant in the crowd ready to step up to the task.  So the next reasonable option is to stick old Slip McScruff into the net and pray for the best.  Slip already has a lot of experience blocking shots outside of the net, so he's got that fearlessness needed to get in front of the puck.  His hand eye certainly helps with getting sticks and pads in the way. 

Unfortunately, he's more of a meatbag than a flexible butterfly so he's not a pretty sight in net.  More than a few times he's thrown himself at the puck and taken out his own defenders out front.  His method for rebound control is a little thing called pure luck, and he's not a lucky individual.  After every game, he writes Get Well Soon cards to both goalies and orders them chicken soup, even though they are injured, not sick.


IIHF baby.  Slip is looking for a gold medal repeat with the loaded Team USA.  He's been out of the playoffs for a long time, so he's been keeping the gym warm for his star studded teammates who have gone deep. 

After the Winnipeg Jets made a first round exit, Slip wanted to just relax and enjoy his extended break before getting on international ice.  However, fellow USA defenseman Geoff Moore was there to keep him honest and brought him in to run training drills with the defensive coach of Team USA.  By the end of the second round of the playoffs, they were joined by all but one USA defender and had both goalies ready to take shots.

During the finals, Slip sneaked away to cheer for his USA teammates on the Blizzard.  His three teammates from Edmonton happened to eliminate two teammates from Calgary and two teammates from Los Angeles, so he kept his support private. 


The name of the game is youth outreach to expand the game and the pipeline of talent.  It's a long term investment that likely won't have any immediate impact but is critical to the success of the league.

Some teams and players have already pitched their ideas for how they would chip in.  The recently crowned champions from Hamilton have volunteered to run a beginner level school to teach kids how to pass the puck.  Slip McScruff from the Winnipeg Jets has volunteered to teach entry level hitting, although some parents think he's starting too young.  Aleister Cain from the New Orleans Specters has volunteered to teach young goalies how he manages to still look good while letting pucks in the net.

If we are concerned about the short term, we can extend some of these schools to adult leagues.  There is some hidden talent out there in beer leagues that maybe just need a confidence bump to make the jump into professional hockey.  We could have a training camp that culminates in an SHL team willing to take a dive against the beer leagues, followed by agents calling up promising talent with entry level contracts.

In the SHL,
hockey is simulated,
but drama is real.

Slip McScruff makes a grotesque meal that the media has picked up on and now Doritos is immortalizing it in a chip flavor.

To start, we have the meal that he learned from his favorite internet chef, the BBQ-Beef-Stick Pizza Bagel.  It's exactly what it sounds like but with more passion than you imagine.  Bagel, mozzarella, onions, jalapenos, sliced Slim Jims, and BBQ sauce.  Now picture that flavor condensed into chip form.

The branding is "Slip McScruff's Slim Jim Dirty Bomb Dorito MAX" and they stopped making after the first week on the shelves due to reports of serious bowl obstruction in consumers.


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