1. Wow VIP again? Seems like every season now I've been in the league, I've been getting invited to the SHL challenge cup finals. Save for the one that I was actually playing in, but that one, even now, seems like a lifetime ago. I can't say I'm too excited for these finals, it seems like I'm just cheering for the lessor of two evils, but I'm sure the players on the ice don't feel the same way. I suppose I'd rather see the first two games in Hamilton, not because I'm a fan of their team but rather, if I can help it, would prefer to never step foot into deadmonton. Plus I wouldn't mind spending the night in Toronto after the games, celebrating hard regardless of which team ended up winning that game. All I can hope for is an exciting series and hopefully a quick start to the next season. 

2. Physics is science, and science is life, and anybody who has every entered a black hole has never returned to talk about their experience and so how can we, without a doubt, say that alternate realities are not possible. In the alternate timeline/dimension/reality, whatever you want to call it, that I reside in, (that's right, I went through a black hole and am now back to discuss it, send those ted talk contracts my way) New England has been in the SHL Challenge Cup finals every year that I have been in the league and I, along with Guy Zheng, and local sieve, Andrew Warren have won all of our respective awards. In addition to making the finals every season since S48, we have also won the Cup all of those seasons as well. The only major difference is that Simon Tremblay is actually named Dave Tremblay, and he is also the founder of Wendy's.

3. The cities of Edmonton and Hamilton have joined forces for a noble cause that every province directly West of Alberta hates: a pipeline. Since that pipeline that Trudeau bought is never going to be built, Edmonton has had to resort to drastic measures and use the fanbases of two hockey teams to fund their own. Even though logistically it doesn't make sense as Hamilton is situated next to a lake not an ocean, this is a meme and things don't need to make sense, they just are. Why has Hamilton agreed to this plan? Well at the start of the season the Edmonton roster put all of their TPE in passing in order to make the finals even easier for Hamilton and by trading wins, they would raise any amounts of money for a cup. EDM players are washing cars and shovelling snow in order to make money, whist HAM players are robbing old ladies, and stealing from the poor in order to raise their share. 

4. I'm playing goalie, fam! The only thing more ridiculous than a defender playing goalie, because who knows where our teams sieve has fucked off to, is a forward playing goalie. And if my coach understands one thing, it's that memes are greater than wins. Especially when the team is basically tanking and trying to get first overall. But then the memery of this position change gives us bad karma and we lose the draft lottery even though we basically has the best chance of winning, so I guess that is the downfall of memes. But memes have dreams and maybe next season, since we lost the lottery, we'll win the cup because everything works out after all. Who knows though, maybe I'll become the permanent replacement for our goalie and then we lose every single game in the regular season and still don't end up with the first pick, Now, that would be brutal.

9. S T H S it
sucks so much so, i hate it
S T H S blows

18. Sent