1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min) VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy
First of all, I will be attending the Edmonton games. I want to be there to see how the series kicks off, and gauge where momentum is headed for the rest of the finals. Second of all, I’m going to spend so much of SD’s money it isn’t funny. He didn’t know who he was bringing to the event. Not only am I a drinker and boy howdy will I be drinking, but I will be tipping generously. The corporate fat cats in head office have had it too good for too long and it’s time we introduce a little communism and spread the wealth. Anyone who sells me any goods or provides any service will receive a hefty sum from the bank of the commissioner. Moreover, since we’re in Alberta, and since I was told I could buy anything with my J league GM’s money, I’ll be making a large purchase of land in the oil fields. Nothing makes your money back quite like a safe investment in oil.

2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min) Alternate Reality
Off in the distant land of SHL reality Z-81, the finals of the Challenge Cup come down to a competition between the New Orleans Spectors, and their archrivals, the New Orleans Spectors. You may be asking yourself, how does that even work? Are they playing themselves? No! In this universe, and that’s why it’s the best universe in the sim league multiverse, every single team except the last place team are the New Orleans Spectors. The conferences are broken up into TSC and ASC which stand for “the Spector Conference” and “Also Spector Conference”. While one of those has a non-Spector team, the overall message is clear. After a spectacular year for playoff series wherein every game went to 7, the Spectors are ready to host their first playoff game of this season. The road team knows that the Spector’s stadium is a tough place to travel to, but they’re used to a noisy crowd thanks to their experience back home in Spector’s Stadium.

3. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min) The two finals teams have decided to team up for a fundraising opportunity to benefit both cities.
With both Challenge Cup teams being Canadian this season, they really decided to lean into their national pride when choosing a fundraising opportunity for them to collaborate on. And what better way to benefit Canada’s cities than to put a focus onto maple syrup. The joint fundraiser will be featuring a pancake eating contest, and the purpose is to make sure that Canada’s youth have access to real syrup for the remainder of their lives. So every dollar earned from this competition will go directly to fighting climate change, eliminating greenhouse gasses, and further research into what can be done to save our maple trees. Curbing climate change has become a political issue nowadays. In reality, it is directly linked to our collective survival as a species and shouldn’t be limited to partisan lines. Which is why it is so important to base this venture in something all good Canadians can agree on, maple syrup tasting good.

4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min) Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug
One thing that good old Jakob has always been talented at is blocking shots. Well, the first thing is finding his way to the penalty box, the second is making hits, and the third is blocking shots. Sadly the first one is an active detriment, the second only works out of position as a grinder, but the third is a transferable skill. Because, you see, Lethbridge’s goalies have sadly found themselves all sick or injured, and Hamr had nothing to do with that I promise. But coach decided to bring in someone with a penchant for throwing his body in front of shots and see how he does as the replacement goalkeeper. Quick reflexes are the biggest advantage here, as well as the fact that his stature makes him take up 85% of the net before he even has to move. Sadly, the #1 skill for Jakob never goes away, and as it turns out getting sent to the box for cross checking isn’t an acceptable thing for a goalie to do, so the experiment was a failure.

5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min) The Most Generic Prompt of All Time
Jakob has been spending the offseason training. He isn’t the best TPE earner, but his good friend and teammate in the upper league Slothface and him have taken the time and come up with an intensive workout program which will hopefully get Hamr on track to not miss any potential TPE gains (except the ones that he cannot afford, RIP my teeny tiny bank account). To play defense one has to be strong and fast, and without a workout regiment, that simply will not happen. So in true Rocky Balboa fashion, Hamr chose to fly to Eastern Europe (back home to the Czech Republic) to work on his athleticism. In addition to the regular workouts such as carrying a log over my shoulder and walking through waist deep snow, I have elected to go to my roots and wrestle a bear for the first time since I was a child. I expect an easy victory.

9. Written, 1 TPE Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic
I wanted to be
An enforcer, but at least
I get penalties