1.  Yeah Baby!!!! VIP Status for Stan!!! Feels good to be recognized for the powerhouse that I am! So first off is the choice of which games to go to, Edmonton or Hamilton? Decisions, decisions. Actually this is kind of an easy choice, Edmonton right? I mean after all, no one in their right mind really wants to go to Hamilton. So now for where to stay, I’m thinking a suite at the JW Marriott sounds like a perfect choice. I mean why not? From what I hear SDCore has some pretty deep pockets. Nothing like some expensive room service to make you feel at home. VIP box at the games with free booze, Hell yeah! Can’t forget about the after game parties and checking out the night life in Edmonton. I hear there is a really snazzy place called Suite 69 located downtown that has it going on. Might just have to get my Night At The Roxsbury on, oh yeah.                                 162 Words

3. For the annual fundraiser this year, both Edmonton and Hamilton decided that in the wake of the devastation effecting Australia right now, they would donate all proceeds to help out the Australian firefighters. What a bunch of big softies. Who says hockey players don’t have hearts? Now as for the nature of this fundraiser, it was finally decided, after much debate between the teams, that there was only one thing that could possibly raise the kind of money needed to help out Australia. That’s right; you guessed it, a BIKINI CARWASH!!! No we are not talking a bunch of scantily clad women out washing cars, c’mon this is a new decade and we are supposed to be past that kind of blatant sexism. Instead we are talking about a bunch of big, sweaty, hairy hockey players dressed in bikinis while washing your car. Now I know what you’re thinking, won’t tensions between the teams be running high? Of course it will, but that just adds to the fun. Per BIKINI CARWASH rules, all conflicts must be resolved with soapy sponges and water. Let the games begin and open up your wallets, folks!                                                                                                                                                                                          193 Words

4. So it looks like I’m going to have to fill in on Defense for a bit. No big deal, right. I mean just cause some of our D Men got injured, and then the call ups for play offs, we are a little short right now. Eh, no big deal, I got this. It just means I get to have fun and go hard out there on the ice. I mean after all I was Number 3 in the league for checking for the last 2 seasons. I’m one of the hardest hitters around. Anyone from the other team comes on my side of the ice, BAM!!!!!, right into the glass. Yeah I got this covered.” Nong, nong, naga naga nong nong”,(does weird little dance while singing). Guess I might want to make sure my pads are extra tight too. Going to be a whole lot of roughing going on. Hanson gets big smile on his face…..                                                                                                                                                                                                       158 Words

5. Wohoo!! Off Season baby! What to do, what to do? I think a trip home back to Badger, Minnesota is order. There is nothing like getting some of momma Hanson’s home cooking. I sure have missed that. I need to get in some work on making doughnuts too. I can’t expect to have a chain of tasty doughnut shops if I let my doughnut making skills slip. Speaking of skills though, I know I can count on dad and the rest of the family to keep me on my toes out on the ice. If it wasn’t for them and the things they taught me out on the ice, I wouldn’t be the powerhouse player that I am today. It’ll be good to see everyone and spend time relaxing with the family. Hopefully my cousins will have some free time and we can break out the race track and have some fun with our cars too. Hell yeah, there is nothing like going home.                                                                 165 Words

7. After much discussion at the town hall meeting about how to bring more fans to the SHL, one big topic seemed to keep coming up. While it was not necessarily a new subject, but it is something the league hasn’t seen much of in quite a while. I think it was best said in Godzilla, “Let Them Fight”. That’s right; people want to see fights again. They want old school, smash mouth Hockey to be played once more. In a world where MMA fever runs rampant, there is only one thing to do and that is to bring back the goons. People long for the days of players like Gordie Howe. They want to see blood, gore, guts, and veins in the teeth on ice. The masses are clamoring for it, and who are we to deny them? They are not entertained anymore. Let’s give them what they want, people. Say it with me, “LET THEM FIGHT!”                                                                                         158 Words

9. Coming hard and fast
   Into the glass you will go
   The puck will be mine