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S52 WFT #3 - happy valentine's day cutie pies, tell me about your player's love life
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hhh81SHL GM Brennan Lee Mulligan Stan
I know what you're here for. You know what you want, and I can tell you... I can give it to you.
We all know Simothy Drunkebird is a real bird, but the story of his birth is one you can't learn from the bright parts of the Internet. No, for that story, you need to look back.... to Jakub Novak. Yes, Jakub Novak, the former Colorado Raptor, Winnipeg Jet, and Manhattan Rage. Third line extraordinaire. Lover of hats and Director of Player Development for the Raptors. This man has a secret. You see, Hats Novak has a secret. During his rookie season for Manhattan, he met a young woman... or so he thought. This intoxicating femme fatale pulled the young Czech in with her feminine wiles. Her tricorn hat with a red feather in it was so jaunty and fun, he couldn't stay away! He was defenseless to resist, and before long she'd brought him back to her bed. Hats was shocked to discover this young woman was a furry. Her fursona, Chili (short for Trochilidae), was a GD bird. What was he to do? He'd come so far... and so he kept coming. Immediately, he felt his energy drained from his body. His playoff heroic powers dried up in a moment. He realized how terrible a mistake he made as he looked onto the glassy eyed woman beneath him, sneering with every modicum of evil. Just like Charles Barkley in Space Jam, Novak was a husk of himself in a moment. His talent... and his seed... were within the fursona. He fell into a deep sleep and she disappeared into the night. A few months later, Chili gave birth to.... shockingly, bafflingly, beyond all medical understanding-ly.... a bird. She gave birth to a fucking bird, and named him Simothy. Simmy had a taste for the bottle from day one, y'see, and a taste for tormenting the other birds on and off the ice. He was a prodigy in the AMJHA (Avian Minor Junior Hockey Association), and went on to one day be the first overall pick in the S52 SHL Draft. Hats Novak looked on in sadness, afraid to ever tell his son the awful truth, let alone come forward with the horrors wrought upon him. He prays each night that Chili does not strike again on another poor, hopeless SHLer. And that, my dears, is how Simothy Drunkebird stole Jakub Novak's groove. @Esso2264      ![[Image: AH23zKq.png]](https://i.imgur.com/AH23zKq.png) Thank you karey, OrbitingDeath Ragnar, and sköldpaddor for sigs! ![[Image: BAL_Player_Page.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/298599854899200001/1129921039950958682/BAL_Player_Page.png) ![[Image: BAL_Update.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/298599854899200001/1129921040164855819/BAL_Update.png) |
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