Homers and purists, enjoy this article that presents the fantasy rankings by franchise and by junior program.
Going into every season, in any fantasy sport, it is natural to veer towards your own teams. While you might be biased, by your optimistic outlook, the idea of rooting for yourself is definitely identifiable.

In any sport, I like to choose the teams that I like. I’m not going to hedge my bets like my bookie/uncle tells me, I’m not interested in winning “or” winning. I want to win “and” win. A Capitals fan drafts Dmitry Orlov, not because Snarls is a lock to score, assist and hit a bunch, but because the Capitals need him to succeed in order for their playoff run to be deeper than Pittsburgh’s. In order for his (the fan, or Orlov's) team to succeed, he (Orlov) must succeed, and the team likely not succeeding is not something that a fan will consider during the late offseason.

Imagine being on the team, and saying during a flight “sorry, Dima, but I think Klingberg is the value play”. You invest in your locker room and in those that you care about, even if irresponsibly so. It would be like betting against your son at a track meet when they scrimmage the Jamaican travel team. Yea, the odds are that your boy is going to get smoked, but if he wins and you bet on the favorite, that guilt debt is going to be harder to pay than your financial one.

Everyone is friends with a UCONN alumnus who has won 5 March Madness (RIP) tournaments in the last decade or so. I’ve lost every NFL pick’em league since the New York Giants started sucking. It’s a hard road for many fan bases, but it is undeniably the path of honor.

In the SHL the stakes are lower because its a digital simulation that we recently learned barely works (like a text version of the video horse races at the gas station), yet the stakes are higher because we’re on the teams and participating and trying our hardest to be the first gas station pony to cross the finish line.

The following is a breakdown of how the perfect fan would have finished last season’s fantasy season. If drafting only on franchise loyalty, I have listed the results of the fantasy teams made up of each franchise’s top fantasy forwards and, top fantasy defensive pairing, and fantasy goalie rotation.


Unless you were on the Buffalo Stampede, you would not have collected TPE in any of the leagues with these rosters (more evidence that the SHL deep state is encouraging disloyal acts to spur ratings, a la Tom Brady). A way around this snakery to still be loyal and possibly get a few more points, would be to choose by your SMJHL affiliated team.

Full disclosure: this was a long and tedious process and I’m sure I missed a bunch. Please comment or private message some players that I missed.


I had a bit ready to go about a deeper analysis, and storied J franchises vs failing ones, vs new up and comers, but no one really reads those parts. You just search your name, click on the link, command F your name (yea, a mac. Sometimes I use light mode, too. What of it? We’re on FHM now, even playing field.), and then look for your teammates and draft buddies. With that in mind, I’ll cut it off here. I'm not going to shoe-horn this into being about rookies; I will just cross my fingers that this accidentally gets graded as x2.

Makeshift conclusion: Follow Viktor Marius. Karey's got the purest pedigree around, and his art doesn't stink either. I'd tag him like a man, but I know I'm going to have a million small edits, typos, and player additions, and I don't want to bother him with the notifications.

Let me know what errors there are.

In lieu of flowers, please down-rep Ford.